I pulled my shirt up over my shoulders and tossed it away. I felt every inch of Shay’s body suddenly tighten as his eyes took me in. I slipped my own hands under his shirt, my fingers moving not up but down, finding the buttons of his jeans, toying with them, wanting to go further but not certain I should. He leaned down, kissing me hard. I moved against him, needing to be closer to him, hating the remaining clothing that separated us. My fingers undid the first button of his jeans and slipped down to the next. My breath came in gasps at the scorching trail his hands made as they slid over my skin.

“Calla,” he murmured against my lips. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”

Something about his words made me falter, like I’d tripped in the darkness and was suddenly falling, falling. And then it wasn’t Shay above me, but Ren. His dark eyes gleamed in the dim light of the room, his hands slipping over my skin. Just let me kiss you, Calla. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to.

It was as though an icy wind swept through the room. The fire licking my skin was smothered, replaced by hollow cold. I shuddered and my stomach lurched. I began to shake my head.

“What’s wrong?” Shay’s hands paused.

“Stop.” My fists came up to his chest, and this time I pushed him away hard enough that he backed off, startled. I closed my eyes, grabbing my shirt off the floor, no longer able to look at him. “I can’t.”

My entire body shook so violently I could barely pull my shirt back on. The dark chasm that resided in my chest roared to life, sucking my brief calm into its yawning oblivion. I hated myself for pulling away from him, knowing I wanted Shay, loved him. Why can’t I let go of the past? What is wrong with me?

Alarm filled his voice. “What happened? You’ve gone white.” He tried to pull me into his arms, but I scrambled from the bed.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, unable to further vocalize the sudden conflict of impulses that tore through me. I clasped my hands against my chest. Unbidden but instinctively my fingers traced the surface of Ren’s ring.

Ren’s voice filled my ears. Tell me you’ll come back for the pack. For me.

It felt like the room was spinning. I’d left him behind. He’d risked everything for me, and this was how I was repaying him. By giving myself to someone else when I was promised to him. What am I doing here? With people who have always been my enemies? I belong with my pack. The fire in my veins turned to ice as I realized I wasn’t free. I wouldn’t be free until my pack was safe. A part of me was a prisoner to the fear that I’d sentenced them to a terrible fate.

“Calla, what is it?” Shay stepped toward me, but both our heads snapped around at the sudden banging on the door. In the next moment, it flew open and Adne burst in.

“Calla!” Her eyes were wild. “We have to goback to Denver now!”

“What’s wrong, Adne?” Shay rushed to her side. “An attack? The Keepers?”

“No.” She stared at him for a moment as if shocked to find him in my room. She shook off her surprise, turning back to me. “Ethan took down a Guardian out on patrol.”

“A Guardian?” My heart began to pound as I saw the terrified sparks in her gaze.

Her voice trembled. “He says he’s your brother.”

PART II

INFERNO

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here.

Dante, Inferno

TWELVE

“WHAT?” MY QUESTION emerged as a hoarse whisper.

“Her brother?” Shay gaped. “You mean Ansel?”

“I didn’t get a name,” Adne said. “Why are you still standing there? Come on!”

I snapped out of my shock and bolted for the door. Adne was already running down the hall. I could hear Shay’s feet pounding just behind me.

Ethan took down a Guardian. Took down? The electric adrenaline that pulled me after Adne transformed into a numbing dread. Fear’s icy tendrils turned into sharp spikes of terror when I caught sight of the glimmering open door.

I stopped, not recognizing the man who stood alongside it. “Good, you’ve found them,” he said. “Everyone else has gone through.”

“That’s just Jerome, Calla. Go on.” Adne pushed me into the portal.

I stumbled forward, landing on my hands and knees in Purgatory’s training room.

“What were you thinking?!” Monroe roared. “He’s a child!”

I was afraid of what possibly could have made Monroe so angry.

“He was running at me, Monroe. Screaming like a banshee, I swear,” Ethan yelled, his voice choked and full of strain. “He yelled, ‘I’m a Guardian, I’m a Guardian,’ over and over. What was I supposed to do?”

Isaac, Connor, and Silas were staring at something on the floor in front of them, their faces ashen. That was when I saw the blood pooling at their feet.

Monroe tore his raging eyes from Ethan at the sound of our approach. His anger gave way to fear when he saw me.

“Calla—” He stepped over the rivulets of blood that moved out from the circle of Searchers and grabbed my arm.

I wrenched away from him and shoved aside Connor, who had stepped behind Monroe in a second attempt to shield whoever was on the floor from my view.

Ansel wasn’t moving. His clothes were dark with blood. I screamed and covered my mouth with my hands. Crossbow bolts protruded from his chest.

“Ansel! Ansel!!”

“I didn’t know who it was . . . ,” Ethan began, and stared at me with wild eyes. “He just threw himself at me. I thought he would claw my eyes out.”