“Is he going to be okay?” I asked her before she could leave.

“He’s got a heck of a hard road ahead of him. He’s been given naloxone through his IV overnight, which will put him into withdrawal. Once he’s stable enough to be moved, he’ll go to the detox unit. After that, the doctor will recommend a rehab program, but it will be up to him whether he goes or not,” the nurse reported clinically.

“Okay, thanks,” was all I could say.

“I’m guessing you’re family, right?” the nurse asked, giving me a look that said she knew I was most definitely not family.

“Of course,” I responded, my eyes flicking to Maxx, who still hadn’t regained consciousness.

“Rehab is this young man’s only chance. His heart stopped twice after he got here. His body is in bad shape. His organs were on the brink of shutdown. If he were my family, I’d do everything I could to make him go.”

I nodded, my throat uncomfortably tight. The nurse turned her hard eyes on Maxx.

“Not everyone gets a second chance. Let’s hope he takes his,” she said, her words clipped. She gave me a thin smile as she left.

I sat back in my chair, watching him sleep. I wish I could have been sure he’d make the right choice, that he’d go to rehab and get better. But I just didn’t know.

There were two sides of Maxx that were completely at odds with each other. One side wanted a normal life. He wanted to go to school, take care of his brother, love me, and be happy. That’s the side of Maxx that would undoubtedly make the right decision.

However, there was also the darker, more self-destructive side, which was selfish and miserable and needed the escape that only drugs could provide. And that side of Maxx would never do anything that would keep him away from the thing he loved above all else—his next high.

Needing to touch him, I reached out and took his limp hand in mine. I wanted to cry, but there weren’t any tears left to fall.

So I sat there, holding his hand, knowing whatever road he’d take, he’d have to travel it alone.

“Aubrey, please have a seat,” Dr. Lowell said, closing her office door behind me. In the aftermath of Maxx’s overdose, I had briefly forgotten about my day of reckoning.

Dr. Lowell looked older than I could ever remember seeing her.

“I never thought I’d be having this conversation with you, Aubrey. To say I’m sad and disappointed is a great understatement,” Dr. Lowell began.

“You know I’ve spoken with Kristie Hinkle, and I know you are aware of what you have been accused of. Kristie tells me she has already spoken with you, and that you have admitted to engaging in an inappropriate relationship with a member of the support group you were co-facilitating. Is this correct?” she asked me, sounding weary.

I nodded. “Yes, it’s true, Dr. Lowell.” I wouldn’t deny it. It was high time I accepted responsibly for my choices.

My mind wandered to Maxx, who was now most likely awake, lying in the hospital detox ward, probably wondering why I hadn’t come to see him. He didn’t know that I had been by his side most of the time he had been unconscious and that it was only when I knew he’d be okay that I’d found the strength to leave, knowing that he had to make his choices for himself.

And they could have nothing to do with me.

Dr. Lowell took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “I don’t need to tell you how serious these accusations are. You have violated our ethical code of conduct. You have abused your role as facilitator and taken advantage of someone in a vulnerable position. This is the grossest kind of misconduct, Aubrey,” Dr. Lowell stated, her voice hardening with her displeasure.

“I understand,” was all I could say.

“I am going to have to begin a departmental investigation into your behavior. There will be a hearing where you will be able to speak on your own behalf. If you are found to have shown misconduct, as your own admission will surely prove, you will be put on disciplinary suspension. It will be up to the disciplinary council to decide whether you should be removed from the counseling program,” Dr. Lowell explained.

I could only nod.

“You’ll receive information in the mail regarding an investigative interview and the time of your hearing. You will get more information about the process when you have your interview. Do you have any questions?” Dr. Lowell asked, her eyes boring into mine.

“I have no questions,” I said, resigned to my fate.

“You can go then. But just know I have never been so disappointed in a student. Your behavior is shocking and reflects poorly not only on yourself but on the entire department.”

I had been dismissed.

I gathered my purse and left Dr. Lowell’s office, head hung low.

My phone rang from inside my bag. I fished it out and looked at the screen, not recognizing the number.

“Aubrey,” the voice breathed on the other end after I said hello.

“Maxx,” I stated, easily recognizing his raspy tone.

I sat down heavily on a bench by the library, tucked into an alcove and shielded from view. My trembling hands had a difficult time holding on to the phone as I clutched it to my ear.

I had been both anticipating and dreading this moment. I had hoped Maxx would have used his time in the hospital to come to see where his life was heading. From the terse way he said my name, I knew that wasn’t the case.

He was angry. And hurt. He felt betrayed and abandoned. It gutted me to think he was feeling all of those things because of me. But this was honestly the only way I could think of to help him. And to help me.