“She saw it on a visit to the akashic records. And today, when I was unable to find a way to help you, I confirmed it. She’s been getting her place ready, trying to find the right time to tell them, and, well, even though I believed her, I wasn’t really sure what would truly be best for them. And so, today, when I asked for a little guidance, what the best course for them would be, the story was revealed. In fact, they’re with her right now.”

“So, that’s it then.” I look at him. “Ava’s no longer evil, she’s reunited with the twins, and we get our lives back.” I try to laugh, but it doesn’t come out quite the way I intended.

“Do we? Get our lives back?” He cocks his head to the side and looks at me.

I sigh, knowing I’ve no choice but to try to explain it, it’s the least I can do.

I drop onto my swing, fingers twisting and looping around the thick metal chains as I look at him and say, “Today—in Summerland—despite how it looked, it wasn’t at all what it seemed. And I was going to explain it—explain everything that’s been happening—but when you disappeared so fast I—” I press my lips together and look away.

“So, why not explain it now?” Damen says, eyeing me closely. “I’m right here. You have my full attention.” His voice so stiff and formal, my entire heart breaks. Just crumbles into a million jagged pieces as he sits there beside me, so handsome, so strong, so well-intentioned—wanting only to do the right thing, no matter what it costs him.

And I want so badly to just reach out and hug him tightly to me, find a way to explain it away. But I can’t, the words are held hostage by the monster within, so instead I just shrug and hear myself say, “It—it was totally and completely innocent. Seriously. I did it for us—despite how it looked.”

Damen looks at me with so much patience and love—I can’t help but feel guilty. “So tell me, did you get what you set out for?” he asks, the question so loaded I can only guess at the real intention behind it.

I pause, trying not to wince under his dark, probing gaze, palms slick with sweat when I say, “You know how bad I’ve been feeling for attacking him and all—and so, I thought that if I took him to Summerland, then maybe he could be healed and—”

“And—?” he prompts, voice laced with the patience of six hundred years, and I can’t help but wonder if he ever gets tired of it—of being so tolerant, so long-suffering—especially when it comes to dealing with me.

“And—” I try to say it, try to tell him what’s happening to me, but I can’t. The beast is awake, the dark magick’s taking hold, and I’m barely hanging on as it is. I shake my head, nervously picking at the faux tortoiseshell buttons lining the front of my sweater, as I say, “And—nothing. Seriously, that’s it. I just hoped it would heal him, and apparently it did.”

Damen considers me, his face composed, relaxed, as though he completely understands. And the thing is, he does understand. He understands way beyond my own fumbling words. He understands all too well.

“So, since we were already there, I figured I’d show him around, and the second he saw the Hall, well, he rushed inside—and the rest—as they say—is history.” My gaze meets his, the irony of the word lost on neither of us.

“And did you join him—in the Hall?” His eyes narrow to slits, looking at me as though he already knows—knows that I’m no longer welcome there—but wants to hear me say it. Wants the full confession as to just how dark and twisted I’ve become.

I take a deep breath and casually push my hair off my face. “No, I just—” I pause, wondering if I should tell him about my trail ride to no-man’s-land, but quickly deciding against it—wondering if maybe what I witnessed was more a reflection of me—my inner state—than an actual place. “I, uh, I just hung around and waited.” I shrug. “I mean, I got a little bored and definitely thought about leaving and all, but I also wanted to make sure he could find his way home, so I—um—I hung out.” I nod, a little too forcefully, in a way that’s not even close to being convincing.

The two of us exchanging a long, painful look, both of us aware that I’m lying—that I just gave what is quite possibly one of my worst performances ever. And for some strange, unknown reason, he grants me a shrug so final, so dismissive, I can’t help but feel disappointed. That small, sane, glimmer of me wishing he’d find a way to coax it out of me, so we could be done with all this. But he just continues to look at me, until I turn away and say, “Nice to know you’ll still visit Summerland on your own, even though you refuse to go there with me.” Knowing he doesn’t deserve that, but still, there it is.

He grabs hold of my swing and pulls me to him, jaw clenched, fingers squeezing the chain, words coming from between gritted teeth when he says, “Ever, I didn’t go there for me—I went there for you.”

I swallow hard, and as much as I want to look away, I can’t, my gaze is locked on his.

“I tried to find a way to reach you—to help you. You’ve been so distant—not at all like yourself, and it’s been days since we’ve spent any real time together. It’s pretty clear you’re doing your best to avoid me, you never want to be with me anymore, at least not here on the earth plane.”

“That’s not true!” The words come out too high-pitched and shaky to ever be believed, but I forge ahead anyway. “I mean, apparently you haven’t noticed, but I’ve been working a lot lately. So far my summer’s been spent shelving books, working the register, and giving psychic readings under the code name of Avalon. So, yeah, maybe I want to spend my spare time indulging myself in a little escape—is that so bad?” I press my lips together and look him right in the eye, knowing most of that was true and wondering if he’ll call me on the parts that aren’t.