When my phone dings, I look to see it’s Markus. I look over at him, and he looks at back me and then cocks his head toward my phone. Rolling my eyes because he’s an idiot, I read the text.

Markus: He’s gonna flip if he finds out about you and Jayden.

Me: Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Markus: No really, I thought he was gonna cut my balls off.

Me: Probably cuz you were laughing like a hyena.

Me: Don’t worry. I have it under control.

Markus: All right.

Markus: Also, I don’t laugh like a hyena.

When he looks at me, I give him a look that says otherwise and he just rolls his eyes. Turning our attention back to the movie, I cuddle into the couch and remind myself that I got this.

It’s all under control.

After three more Christmas movies and even more eggnog, I decide to take a nap when Markus sits up and looks over at me.

“Hey, Jace invited me over for dinner. You guys aren’t cooking, right?”

Scoffing, I shake my head and swallow my jealousy. “No, I don’t cook and neither does Sir Drink-A-Lot over there.”

“Hey! It’s the holidays,” Dad protests, and I nod my head.

“Sure, Dad, perfect reason,” I tease, and he glares over at me before looking to Markus. “Go if ya want, buddy, we’re gonna be lying around.”

“Do you guys want to go? He invited all of us.”

I look over at Dad, hoping to sweet baby Jesus he says yes, but he shakes his head. “I’m gonna drink another beer and then crash.”

Letting my shoulders fall, I look back at the TV because that’s probably what I’m gonna do, minus the beer.

“Oh, okay. Baylor?” Markus asks me then.

I look up to decline because I’m not leaving my dad, but before I can answer, Dad says, “Yeah, Bay, go. Have fun if ya like.”

Looking back at him, I say, “Are you sure?”

He waves me off. “Sure, I’m gonna be out soon. A home-cooked meal will be good for you.”

“Sure,” I say with a shrug. “But I don’t want to leave you.”

“Eh, I’ll be good. Go,” he says, waving me off, and I stare at him for a long moment, waiting for him to change his mind, but he doesn’t.

“Okay, I’m gonna go,” I say slowly and he nods.

“Good,” is his decision as I watch for any signs that he isn’t okay with it.

When I see none, I get up and throw the blanket on the back of the couch

“Give me a few. I gotta get ready.”

“Get ready? Just throw a jacket on. I doubt they’ll care,” Dad says as I pass by, but I shake my head.

“Their mom is there, Dad. I gotta look nice.”

But I’m sure Markus knows the real reason.

I have to look good for Jayden.

As I rush to my room, I type Markus quickly.

Me: Tell Jace not to tell Jayden I’m coming. I want to surprise him!

Markus: 10-4, good buddy.

Markus: BTW how very girlie of you.

Me: Suck it.

Leaning back against the sofa, I watch as Angie and Jace open all her boxes, getting all her toys out while Lucy and Mom each enjoy a glass of wine. It’s been a good day, and the love in the room is strong. Especially when you look over at my brother and his fiancée. Claire cuddles deep into Jude’s arms, kissing his neck as he holds her tightly, while I just sit here alone.

Missing Baylor.

I wish she had come. Even if she brought her dad, it would have been enough just to be near her. I hate this stupid secret-keeping. It’s downright dumb, and I just want to be able to see my girlfriend when I want to. I want to be like Jude, with my girl in my lap and everyone knowing that I’m going to touch her. It’s a given because she’s mine. While I’m glad my brother is home—I’ve missed him—I am green with envy that he gets to hold his girl, that he doesn’t have to hide her. He actually gets to show her off.

“So I went dress shopping, Mom,” Claire says, and my mom looks back at her with a grin on her face. The relationship she and my mom have is very close. Mom has loved Claire since the moment she met her, and I can’t help but imagine Baylor with her. Would they be like that? Would Baylor call her Mom?

Hmm. Probably not.

“Aw, yay! How did it go?”

“I didn’t like anything,” she laughs, and Lucy smiles.

“Dress shopping is hard,” she says. “Remember, Mom, how long it took me? All that time we wasted,” she adds, and Mom smacks her leg, setting her with a look that is meant to shut her up. Even I know that no bride wants to hear about a failed marriage.

Looking back at Claire, she asks, “So you’re still shopping, then?”

Claire shakes her head, and Mom’s brows go up. Mine do too, actually, as I ask, “Then, are you going naked down the aisle?”

“I’ll be there for sure, then,” Jace comments from where he is putting some castle together until Jude kicks him square in the back. Glaring back at him, he says, “What the sh-crap dude!”

“Don’t say sh-crap like that about my fiancée!”

We all tend to forget that we can’t cuss around here, especially when Angie is in the room.

“Whatever,” he mutters before going back to putting the castle together, and Claire laughs.

“No, I’m gonna wear Reese’s dress,” she says, speaking of her aunt, and that has my mom grinning from ear to ear.

“That’s gonna be spectacular! I can’t wait!”

“Me either!” she gushes. “Not too long till Valentine’s day!”

“Valentine’s day? Y’all are ooey-gooey sweet,” I tease, and Jude flips me off as Claire just grins happily.

“Shut up, it’s going to be awesome,” she says breathlessly. “Jayden, you’re gonna walk with my aunt.”

“Cool, she’s hot,” I say with a playful smirk, and she rolls her eyes.

“Do I get Skylar?” Jace asks, and mentally I remind myself to warn Baylor that she’ll be at the wedding, if she even comes. I need to ask her about that.

“No, she isn’t in the wedding. So you get my niece, Ally,” she answers, and Jace makes a face. Probably because Ally is only like ten, if that. “And that reminds me. I heard that Skylar almost got into it with some girl at one of your parties,” she says to me, and I shrug, acting as if I don’t know what she is talking about.