Rolling my eyes, I lean my head back and run that through my head. I really do want to go to Jayden’s. I haven’t seen him in a week since he and Jace went home for Christmas break. I was worried that I’d be completely alone, and I considered talking my dad into going to Arkansas for the week so I could see Delanie and he could see some of his friends. But then Markus’s mom and dad went on a cruise, leaving him behind. He doesn’t seem bummed by it, but I would be. That’s kind of shitty to me, but he said he doesn’t have that great of a relationship with them. Since that seemed to have some kind of backstory and he didn’t want to talk about it, I didn’t push. I just told him to come stay with us. It’s been great too. Dad and he get along like peas and carrots, talking game and watching hockey together while I just tag along. It’s been nice, but I do miss Jayden. A lot.

Ever since that night the weekend of Thanksgiving, our relationship has changed. It seems more intense now to me because, when he looks at me, I know he loves me. I also know he wants to scream it in my face and ask me if I’ve fallen too. He hasn’t said it since, though, but I know it. I can see it all over his face, and sometimes I worry that people know too. But then a part of me doesn’t really care anymore.

Because I’ve fallen too.

I know, great, right? But two problems. One, I’m not sure how to tell him that without being weird. Like how does one do that? Hey, by the way, I fell for you. Or hey, you’re great, I love you, guy. Or do I just yell it at him? I have no clue, and it freaks me out every time I think about it or even when I go to say it. I’ve never told anyone but my dad I’ve loved them, and even with him, he tells me first. So, yeah, I’m a little stuck here.

Then there is the issue of said father. He’s been drilling me like crazy with hockey, and he keeps telling me I seem distracted, and he might be right. I mean, I’m in real love with a real dude who loves me, but I don’t think my game is suffering. Still though, I listen to him and I’ve been working my ass off, but I really don’t think I need to throw that at him right now. My interviews are supposed to start the first of the year, and Jayden’s are going great. Dad has been throwing a good word in every chance he gets, and I can’t mess that up. He’ll probably have an aneurysm and try to force me to break it off with him.

But I won’t.

I’m doing this. For…like, ever. I hope.

So, I just need to wait for the perfect moment to tell Dad.

And to tell Jayden I love him.

Jeez, the men I love are freaking headaches.

Looking down at my phone, I press my lips together and type him back.

Me: Rain check.

Jayden: On Christmas? That’s shitty.

Me: I got you next Christmas.

Jayden: That’s a good long while from now. A year to be exact.

Grinning, I type back quickly.

Me: Yup, already got you penciled in.

Jayden: You should just write my name all over the calendar.

Me: Like a little schoolgirl?

Jayden: Yeah. J&B 4eva.

Me: Jayden’s girl.

Jayden: Baylor Sinclair <3 <3 <3

Jayden: Whoa…too far?

Laughing, I shake my head even though he can’t see me.

Me: Eh. I’m rolling with it.

Jayden: Whatever, ur probably pissing your pants.

Me: Kinda.

Jayden: lol. Fine. They are telling me to get off the phone so we can do gifts. Which, by the way, yours is waiting for you.

Me: I have yours too.

Jayden: Maybe I’ll sneak out tonight?

Me: Please do. I miss you.

Jayden: I miss you too.

My cheeks warm as I look around to make sure no one is looking. They aren’t, thankfully; I doubt they even know I’m here. They’ve actually started to clean and I should help.

Me: Okay. Enjoy, Merry Christmas.

As I stand, he texts back.

Jayden: Merry Christmas, Bay.

With a small grin on my face, I tuck my phone into my pocket and begin cleaning. When everything is out of the living room, we all settle on the couch and Markus lays his head against my feet as A Christmas Story starts.

“Hey. Question,” my dad says, and I look over at him, pausing the movie.

“What?” I ask as Markus looks over at him too. “Do you need another beer?”

“No, Bay,” he says, a small grin pulling at his lips. But then he presses his lips together, giving me a stern look and then one to Markus. “Are y’all together?”

“What?” I shriek as Markus bubbles with laughter.

Surely, I heard him wrong, but he’s just looking at us, and I can tell he really believes this.

“Us?” Markus chortles as he turns to his back, laughing, but I’m still in shock.

“Markus and me? No, Dad, no way,” I say sharply, but then I pause, touching his shoulder. “Not that you aren’t a great guy.”

“No, I know,” he agrees with a nod, his laughter subsiding. “We are friends, Coach. Strictly friends. She’s honestly like a little sister to me.”

“So, you’re not like friends with benefits? Or whatever you call it?” he asks, and I can tell he’s very uncomfortable. I know it is for me. Markus, though, he is dying laughing.

“Oh my God, please strike me dead,” I mutter, looking at the ceiling as Markus falls off the couch laughing.

“No way, Coach, we are friends. Just friends,” Markus reiterates.

“Yeah, Dad, promise,” I say with as my conviction as I can muster as I meet his gaze.

“Okay, I was just wondering why he’d be here if y’all weren’t.”

“Because I didn’t want him to be alone. He’s my friend, Dad.”

“Sure, sure, it’s been great having you too, son,” he says with a nod. “You have to understand why I asked though. I mean, with everything going on, we don’t need any distractions, and a boy would be a big one,” he reminds me, and I nod.

“I know, Dad,” I say as Markus’s gaze falls on me, but I ignore him.

Biting into my lip, I hit play and the movie starts back up, but I can’t pay attention. I saw it in his eyes; he was really worried and didn’t seem to like the idea of me being with anyone. My main thing is I don’t want to disappoint my dad, so I know I can’t tell him until after the season ends. Since there is no way in hell I’m breaking up with Jayden. I am also not choosing between him and my dad, so we’ll keep the secret going. Especially since he doesn’t suspect anything.