Kate stabbed her salad with her fork like she was trying to kill the cucumbers before she devoured them. She swore loudly enough to make her mother faint. “We should kill him.”

“We so should.”

“I can’t believe he read the texts out loud and gave us detention.”

“Seriously.” Why couldn’t a reaper have eaten him instead of Mr. Meyer?

“Babes!” Landon greeted us as he slid into the seat beside Kate and blew a raspberry on her cheek. She scowled and swatted at him, and then explained what had happened with Mr. Johansson.

“Don’t sweat. Detention is only like an hour. You’ll have plenty of time to get ready for tonight.” Landon said it with a smile, but he failed to make either of us feel better.

“Yeah, but it’s Friday,” Kate whined.

“At least it’s not Saturday detention,” I offered.

“True,” she said. “So what did you want to tell me? About Will?”

“Girl talk,” Landon mumbled. “That’s my cue.” He got up and moved to the end of the table where our other friends, Chris and Evan, sat.

“So?” Kate pressed.

I let out a breath and ate a bite of my lunch. “I don’t know. It’s just so hard, seeing him so much and not being with him.”

“He’s still tutoring you, right?”

“Yeah. He’s coming tonight and to your party Saturday.”

“Pretending to be friends is impossible when you like someone that much.”

“Even if we stopped hanging out, I’d have to see him for our tutoring sessions.” If one considered my sparring, patrolling, and fighting evil soul-stealing monsters with Will tutoring.

“Can’t you get a different tutor?”

“Not really. We were sort of paired together.”

“Has he kissed you since you broke up?”

My stomach considered imploding. “No.”

“Well, that makes things easier. I don’t know. Keep hanging out with him. If he still loves you, then it’s got to be hard for him, too. He’ll cave. He’s a guy. And it’s not like you can stop loving someone just like that. It takes a long time, not overnight. It takes a long time to fall in love and to fall out of love. My advice is to remind him of what he’s missing as often as possible.”

“Like how?”

“Be cute. Be sexy. Just use what you have, lover. I’m sure you know what he likes best about you. Flaunt it. When he misses it—misses you—too much, he’ll come running back. You see him so often. It can’t be difficult.”

I wished it was that easy. But she couldn’t know the entire story. I was divine, pure, untouchable in Will’s eyes. I was the Left Hand of God. Trying to seduce Will wasn’t going to get him to ignore Michael’s threat. But I knew that Will loved who I was, and that’s what I needed to remind him of.

I smiled. “I might have it figured out. Thanks, Kate.”

“You got it. Think I should start my own dating hotline?”

I laughed. “You give everyone the same advice.”

“Well, duh. You do know who you’re talking to, right?”

“Yeah, well,” I started, and shifted uncomfortably in my seat. “I don’t think I’m ready for that with Will yet. Even if we were together.”

“If you’re not ready, you’re not ready,” she said with a shrug. “You don’t want to look back on it and think, Oh my God, what was I thinking? Before you take that next step, make sure it’s a good idea. It doesn’t have to be special. You just don’t want to regret it.”

I admired Kate for a moment, quietly reflecting on what she said. If Will and I slept together—and thinking about it made my insides flutter—would it be a good idea? Would I regret it later?

She took another bite and winked at me, flashing a secretive smile. “You know it’s a good idea.”

My cheeks burned and I shook my head, laughing. “Like I’ll ever get the chance to find out.”

Did I have any regrets? I was afraid Will would become one. I’d lived countless lives, and I wondered about what had happened in those lives—the big and small things that I couldn’t remember. Had I ever been married? Had I ever had any children? Did I have descendants somewhere out in the world? My eyes bugged. That was too much to handle. Smaller things, Ell, I told myself. Don’t think that hard.

7

AT KATE’S PARTY ON SATURDAY NIGHT, I STOOD BY the snack table, picking out a plateful of crackers and cheese slices, with Will at my side. Nobody was in the kitchen besides us, but the commotion from the thumping music and crowd of people in the den poured over the half wall and allowed us no privacy. Kate’s basement was like an underground finished house, even complete with spare bedrooms. Her parents pretty much let her have the run of the place.

Will reached out randomly and pulled on one of the thick ringlets I’d molded into my ponytail, and then let it bounce back into place. “You’re obnoxious,” I noted, and popped a cheese cube into my mouth.

“Why’d you put your hair up?” he asked. His voice reminded me of a child pouting over not getting a second piece of candy.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Because I wanted to do something different with it tonight.”

“Your hair is beautiful, and I like it better when it’s down,” he said wistfully.