He smiled but shook his head. “It’s okay. He’s got it.”

“Colin, are you declining my offer to store your things in case my life changes while you’re gone? Or in case yours does. So we’re not obligated?”

“Not really,” he said. “But we know that could happen.”

She shook her head. “I suppose. But not for quite a while. It’s more likely your life will change and six months will turn into six years.”

“Not without seeing you, Jilly. I promise. The longest it will be before I visit you is six months. Unless…”

“I know,” she said. “Unless I tell you otherwise, but I still believe it would more likely be you telling me otherwise.”

“I have something for you. Stay here in the kitchen and I’ll be right back.”

Jillian took a lot of deep breaths. She’d almost lost it at the mention of the Jeep, the packing up of the cabin, the fact that this was, indeed, coming to a close. She hoped she could hold it together; she didn’t want to send him off thinking only of herself. Truly, in her heart, she wanted him to find everything in his world that brought him a sense of fulfillment and happiness. She didn’t want the man she loved to feel a sense of loss. He deserved to have his life back.

And she deserved to have a man who felt he had everything important in his life, including her.

But she was doomed to tears. And she dreaded that. It would weaken them both just when they needed to be strong and resolute.

He came back carrying two covered canvases. She recognized the size and covers; these paintings had been covered and turned toward the wall at his cabin. He pulled out two kitchen chairs and propped the canvases on them for viewing. He pulled off the covers to reveal two paintings that were now framed in black frames with gold piping. Both paintings featured the same subject: a nude gardener in two different poses.

She covered her mouth and couldn’t keep the tears from gathering in her eyes. They were exquisite. “Colin,” she nearly squeaked.

“I think they should go in your bedroom, but of course you’re the final word on that. Wherever you want them, I’ll hang them for you.”

She reached out a hand toward them, not really wanting to touch them but so much wanting to feel them. She had suspected he was painting something for her since he wouldn’t let her see them, but she had expected more wildlife. These were not only personal, but simply stunning.

“The bedroom,” she said in a breath. “Of course the bedroom.”

“I’ll hang them tonight. And then we can go to the cabin if you…”

“I want to sleep under them. We can go to the cabin tomorrow night. Colin, you couldn’t possibly have given me anything I would love more.”

Luke was host for the gathering of the Riordan clan during the third weekend in August. By the time the big motor coach pulled into the cabin compound, the small RV park behind the cabins was complete. There was now plumbing and electric hookup available. Maureen and George were able to christen the new addition with their RV. There was still some cosmetic work to be done; Luke planned to do some planting around the individual walk-ways and patios next spring. But it was clean, functional and ready.

“Perfect,” George said.

“Fantastic!” Maureen announced. “We could stay here for months!”

“That would be wonderful,” Shelby exclaimed.

“Why don’t you just shoot me,” Luke muttered to Colin.

“No good deed shall go unpunished,” Colin replied with a laugh.

Luke was impressed as he watched Jillian; she was in good humor, laughed easily, glowed when Colin as much as looked at her. She lavished her stunning vegetables on everyone and the first day of the gathering Maureen immediately commandeered Shelby’s kitchen to prepare as much as she could. Jillian seemed to swell with pride at Maureen’s praise of her garden.

Luke knew that neither Colin nor Jillian would be prepared for the extended family that would show up to wish Colin well. Shelby’s Uncle Walt and his girlfriend, Muriel, were present for a big barbecue on Saturday, along with the Haggerty clan, George’s protégé and the town minister, Noah Kincaid and his family. Franci’s mother and her boyfriend drove over from Eureka and yet another reunion took place. Jillian brought baskets of freshly harvested vegetables every day; no one went away empty-handed.

Luke was completely impressed by her spirit and generosity. He thought, for the hundredth time, that Colin was a damn fool to leave her.

I just have to get through the next week, Jillian kept thinking. Just one more week of being positive, wishing him everything good on his journey, and then if she had to cry when he was gone it wouldn’t hurt anything. But Jill was just a little afraid that her throat would ache and her eyes would sting for the rest of her life from the strain of holding back emotion.

Eighteen

The end of August remained warm and sunny, which continued to nurture Jill’s gardens. Her melons were coming in large and strong and the pumpkins were so beautiful that she began to plan a pumpkin patch giveaway. She decided she’d put up notices in the bar and church for local families to come out and pick their own pumpkins, free, for Halloween. She’d get Denny’s help to decorate the house and yard. The leaves would begin to turn in a couple of weeks, and there was a feeling of fall in the mountain air as September approached. There was plenty of occasional light rain and the only tending needed was a bit of weeding and harvesting. If one thing had been made perfectly clear in six months of gardening, it was that she could grow fantastic produce. Her business license was granted, her trademark registered, and the county commissioner of agriculture assured her that her crop met all the standards and her registration would be approved.

Colin packed up and shipped to Sedona those few paintings he had completed since meeting Shiloh Tahoma. Shiloh had sent another check and was happy to hang whatever new work Colin sent him. Additionally, Colin sent a very nice wedding gift to Clay and Lilly Tahoma—in part gratitude for making that connection for him.

Then, too soon, the day came. Jill was more than willing to drive Colin all the way to San Francisco for his flight, but he had made other arrangements. Luke would drive him to an airport shuttle pickup in Fortuna. “I want to say goodbye to you, leave you on your back porch and go. Even though we both know this is how it should be, I don’t expect either one of us is going to like it too much. Especially the morning we say goodbye.”

When they had their last night together, Colin’s large duffel and camera case packed and ready, Jill took herself to a remote place in her mind. She thought about the pure happiness she’d had for months and it brought her comfort. She thought about the hundreds of thousands of soldiers who had left their families to go to faraway lands where they’d be willing to risk their lives for their homeland. Surely this could not be as difficult.

She concentrated on Colin. They made sweet, slow love and she wondered how she would endure without this in her life; she wondered how long she would have to make do without it. Then they rested, curled around each other. She didn’t sleep and suspected he didn’t, either. In the morning they shared the shower and one last and more frantic coupling. As he was emptying himself inside her, her legs around his waist and his lips against her neck, he whispered, “I don’t know how I’ll manage even a day without you.”

Any other woman would have taken that moment to say, Don’t go! Don’t go! Let me be what you need! Stay with me!

Not Jill. “You’ll have to manage,” she whispered back. “You’re going to renew your strength, to get your life back. You’ll send me wonderful pictures. And you’ll come to see me when you can.” Then she sighed and added with a whisper, “I’ll be right here.”

They were having coffee on the back porch, the sun barely up when Luke pulled into the drive. They both stood up. It was time. Colin grabbed his duffel, tossed it in the back of Luke’s truck along with his camera case. But then, of course, he went back to her as she stood on the top step of the porch. He stood one step below her, giving them equal height, and with his arms around her waist, he kissed her deeply.

She had saved the words. She had never intended that her feelings would manipulate him or attempt to change him. “You should know something, Colin. I love you. Please travel safe. And in all the exciting things you do, please take care.”

“Of course I will,” he said, showing no surprise. “I love you, too, Jilly.”

She smiled. “I know. I felt it.”

“I knew it, too,” he said. “You showed me every day. Every night. That’s perfect, when you think about it—we both knew, both felt it, never really had to say it.”

She smiled and touched his cheek. “Send me pictures. Let me know you’re having a wonderful time.”

“I’ll call or email when I get there. Will you take pictures of the garden? Of the pumpkins? Those monster squash?”

“I will,” she said with a laugh.

“I think you have some blue-ribbon pumpkins there,” he said, giving her nose a gentle little kiss. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you so much, Colin, but I want you to have everything. Everything, Colin. I want you to be one hundred percent fulfilled. I don’t want there to ever come a day when you mutter I should have in disappointment.”

“Six months will go by quickly,” he said.

“Sure it will.” But he’d never misled her about the length of his absence. This trip would be six months, but after that he would try other countries, other possibilities. If he found a satisfying, fulfilling flying job, he was only coming back here for visits. Colin had wanderlust and hungry adrenaline; he needed to keep moving, keep challenging his easily bored spirit. How many years would this passionate love last with a short visit every six months?

“Take care. Watch out for Denny. He feels like a little brother to me.”

She laughed a little. “I told him that, too. Don’t worry about Denny. He’s in good hands.”

“Goodbye, Jilly,” he said. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Soon,” she echoed.

And then she watched him get in his brother’s truck and disappear down the long drive.

Jillian did what she did best—she concentrated on the garden. Of course, she wasn’t as lighthearted or joyful. She was in mourning, though she fully expected it to pass soon. After all, she’d had many losses in her life and she’d weathered them well. At least Colin was perfectly fine, just not in her home or her bed.

She was a little quiet for a while, and Denny asked her if she was doing all right and she said that of course she missed Colin, but that was to be expected.

It was two days before there was contact from Colin. She received two emails. One was a group mailing to her and everyone in his family describing the long flight, the connecting flights in a couple of small prop planes from South Africa through Mozambique to Tanzania. He included pictures he’d taken along the way. He explained that once he hooked up with his safari group, he would very likely be out of touch for a while. And he also mentioned that before leaving on safari he had already made arrangements to take a tour of Mount Kilimanjaro. He’d decided against any mountain climbing, but was booked on a helicopter tour! He wished everyone well and told them not to worry if they didn’t hear from him.

The second email was more personal.

Jilly, I’m not too far from where my brother served in that disaster that was Somalia. I was so young then. If you’d asked me even five years ago if I’d ever be interested in this place, I would have said no! Yet what I’ve seen of this continent so far is heart-stopping in beauty. I can’t wait to get to the park, to the safari. It could be as long as weeks before I can send pictures, but I picked up a couple of international cell phones. I’ll try to call, though I’m told communication is limited. Meanwhile, tend your prizewinning crop and think of me sometimes.