My parents shut the subject down and refused to discuss it any more over break. I had spent most of my time with Rachel and Daniel anyway, so there hadn’t been much time to say more about it. But my mind was made up; I just hoped I could go with their blessing.

It wasn’t until I had gone back to school that Mom had called and said that I was an adult and I could do what I wanted. She hadn’t sounded particularly happy about it, but I was relieved that they had conceded.

So after that, I had booked my flight to Florida. I would be arriving at Orlando International Airport at ten-thirty in the morning on Christmas Eve. I planned to stay for three nights (because that was all I could afford) and fly back to Virginia on the 27th.

I booked a room at a Holiday Inn not far from where Clay was living. I had gone out and gotten myself a small, fake Christmas tree already decorated with lights. I was going to make this the most perfect Christmas possible.

Hiding my visit was proving extremely difficult. Clay didn’t seem very enthused about the upcoming holiday. He talked about Ruby coming up to visit and about some of the activities the group home was doing for the residents. But he seemed a little sad.

I only hoped that once I was there I could make up for the years of shitty holidays he had experienced.

But the truth was I didn’t know what to expect. As hard as we tried, the tension between Clay and me hadn’t gotten any better. I blamed the distance but a huge part of me worried that it was more than that.

That maybe while he was moving forward, he was going to walk so far away from me that I’d never be able to catch up.

I tried to hold onto the belief that our love could overcome anything. We had already climbed the mountain, this should be the easy part, right? Why couldn’t my heart believe my head?

“Knock, knock,” a voice called out from the hallway. My door flew open, bouncing off the wall. “There you are!” Rachel said, coming into my bedroom with a huge smile on her face with Daniel right behind her.

Rachel grabbed me in a huge hug and without hesitation, I held her back. Once upon a time, physical demonstrations of any form would have been a huge no-no. I didn’t do the hugging stuff. But times had changed. I had changed. And now I didn’t think twice about kissing Daniel’s cheek and giving Rachel’s long, brown hair an affectionate tug.

“Hey you two,” I said, pulling my suitcase off the bed. It landed with a loud thud on the floor.

“Think you packed enough?” Daniel asked, cocking an eyebrow before taking his usual spot on my bed. Rachel sank down beside him, her body leaning into his.

I had been worried that when my two best friends decided to go to school together, that they wouldn’t make it. That their relationship would die a fiery death and as a result we’d lose the friendship that we have had our entire lives.

But they seemed stronger than ever. I watched as Daniel tucked a piece of hair behind Rachel’s ear and she gave him a small smile. They were cute, in that so-adorable-it-makes-you-want-to-vomit-kind of way.

“You’ve seen how your girlfriend packs for a weekend away, so don’t start with that shit,” I warned Daniel who laughed before being elbowed by Rachel in the gut.

“She’s right, baby. Who needs five pairs of shoes for one night?” he asked, moving out of striking range. Rachel scowled but then shrugged.

“I can’t believe your parents are cool with you being gone for Christmas,” Rachel said, her eyes wide.

“Well, I’m not sure cool would be the appropriate word to use,” I admitted.

Daniel sniffed the air and got to his feet. “Your mom’s making snicker doodles. Later,” he announced and was out the door before either of us could say a word. Rachel and I laughed.

“I would have thought he had beaten his snicker doodle addiction by now. It’s really concerning. Maybe we need to stage an intervention,” I snickered. Rachel shook her head.

“That’s all he could talk about on the way over here. Those freaking snicker doodles. It’s a sickness,” Rachel mused, getting up and going to my jewelry box. I watched as she picked out a pair of gold hoops and put them on. “I’m taking these. You never wear them,” she informed me.

I waved my hand in her direction. “Take them.”

Rachel continued to sift through my jewelry and I just sat there, a bundle of nerves and overloaded anxiety.

“Are things still good with you and Daniel? I mean, they seem to be, but has going to college changed anything?” I asked. Rachel looked over her shoulder, her eyebrows knitted together.

“Things are great. We make sure not to spend every waking moment together. I have my friends and Daniel is rushing a fraternity. My class load is insane so it’s not like we have a ton of time to be together. But that’s probably for the best. I don’t think being in each other’s back pocket would be the right thing for us. Why do you ask?” She gave me a pointed look and I sighed, lying back on my bed, my hands folded under my head.

“I guess I’m just worried,” I answered.

Rachel came over and moved my legs so she could sit down beside me. “About Daniel and me? Why?” she asked.

I stared up at the ceiling. “I’m not worried about you two. That was my less than subtle attempt at telling you I’m scared as hell that things will be different when I see Clay again. What if we’ve moved too far away from where we were before?”

Rachel patted my foot. “Well of course things will be different. I’d be more worried if they weren’t,” she said.