Tears stream hot down my face. It hurts to breathe. If I didn’t know it was impossible, I’d think my heart was breaking.

“As for Alisia and Scotty, we both know that the older they are when I go, the harder it will be for them. We also knew it would come to this one day. That one of us would end up going where the other couldn’t follow—either way. There was no escaping that. Because we’re from different worlds. Magic can’t make me into someone I’m not. I’m human. Death is part of who I am. But it’s not part of you. You have another life waiting. I’ve had all I ever dreamed of. Because he stood back. Now it’s his time.”

Deep inside, I know he’s right. But to imagine never being able to see Jeb again . . . to never hold his hand . . . to never laugh with him—it cuts me to the core.

“I’m scared for you.” It’s a lie, because it’s me I’m scared for. Facing this much pain alone is paralyzing. “How can you be so sure . . . so calm?”

He presses our foreheads together so all we can see is each other’s eyes. “Because wherever I’m going on this new journey, I get to go peacefully. I have the easiest walk of all. You’re the one who has to stay behind and comfort those who’re still here.”

The pressure builds in my throat. I want to be furious with him for leaving. But all I feel is love and admiration. I can’t even imagine closing my eyes forever . . . facing the unknown. He’s so much braver than I could ever hope to be.

I bury my face in the blankets covering his chest, weeping. “Morpheus once told me it would be harder than I thought . . . I didn’t want to believe him. I thought . . . I thought I was stronger than this.”

Jeb tenderly wiggles the bun at the nape of my neck. “You are. You’re Alyssa Victoria Gardner, the girl who broke through stone with a feather and crossed a forest in one step. You held an ocean in your palm, you changed the future with a fingertip. You—”

“We defeated an invisible enemy with Tumtum berries,” I interrupt, looking up through my tears. “We trampled an army beneath our feet. It was us together meeting those tests head-on.” My voice cracks.

“But it was you alone who woke the dead, and harnessed the power of a smile. You alone who defeated Red and all of AnyElsewhere. You who earned the crown.” Jeb’s voice is husky with emotion. “A magical kingdom is waiting for your reign. You’ve just suppressed that side of you for so many years to belong here, you’ve forgotten what you can be when it’s fully unleashed. It’s time to remember. To never forget again.” He catches my face and presses my mouth to his in the gentlest kiss we’ve ever shared. “Now, we have a chance for one last perfect moment, fairy queen. Let’s make it count.” With his thumb, he blots the wetness that has gathered in my wrinkled cheeks.

I grit my teeth, and hand over the gelled tear.

Holding my gaze, Jeb squeezes the wish to release the scent of longing and brine, then speaks the words he’s practiced over the past week: He asks that he relive the dream we shared on our honeymoon night, so we can be together one last time, young and free, and then that afterward, he never wakes again.

I’ve barely closed my eyes when I’m there, inside his room of dreams where we spent our honeymoon. Silver pillars wrapped in purple garland surround me. At my side, a wicker bench sits beneath an arch swathed in purple and white tulle; shiny Mardi Gras masks hang from rafters on varied lengths of string—purple, black, and silver.

I’m twenty-one again, wearing my wedding dress—white lace, pearls, and airbrushed shadows. I’ve just released a magical ribbon from the box in my hand, and a golden, glittering fall of letters dances around me:

Things I once hoped to give you:

1. A magical wedding . . .

All my earlier fear and sadness vanishes as Jeb appears beside me in his tux—twenty-three years old, smooth olive skin, muscled body, glistening labret. Full of health and vitality. Choking back happy tears, I hold out my left hand where his ring already sits.

He smiles that dimpled smile. We confess how much we’ll always love each other until death do us part, and then he pulls me in for a kiss. A spark, hot and electric, jumps between us. Shock and sensation shimmer through me, aglow with his heat and flavor—just like the first time I tasted his lips. He eases us down onto the bench, and we indulge in passion until we’re spent. In the aftermath, we touch one another’s faces, sharing soft kisses and whispered sentiments. We treasure each moment, each glimpse, each smile and sigh, no longer two singular entities, but one united force.

We lay there in each other’s arms as the scenery transforms around us. It’s still his dream room—although the background changes to allow us to relive every dream he had that has now been fulfilled.

The picnic basket on the ground becomes weightless and hovers overhead. Jeb unties the ribbon on the handle, releasing a new glimmering parade of letters:

2. Picnics at the lake with your mom . . .

We walk through a green meadow, following the basket, then relive the moments laughing with Mom and Dad beside a lakeshore. We’re famished, and feast on berries, chocolates, and wine.

After our appetites are sated, I tug a ribbon loose from a mosaic drifting along the water like a boat. Another glittering sentence is released:

3. A lifetime of shared successes and laughter . . .

I let my wings out. Jeb takes my hand, no longer needing any help to fly. Together, we rise up to the rafters and watch our surroundings flip through other scenes—all of our hopes becoming fulfilled, with each new accomplishment and birth of a child.

Catching me by the elbow, Jeb points to the other side of the room, where his motorcycle idles high up in the rafters, amid strands of white Christmas lights.

It’s the one dream left incomplete, and it will be our final moment together.

We float across and release the bow tied on the bike’s handlebar.

4. Midnight rides across the constellations in Wonderland . . .

Snowflakes and a soft breeze wind around us. The rafters open up to a fathomless night as I settle behind him in the seat. He revs the motor, and the Christmas lights transform into a spiral of white stars coiling and uncoiling in feathery sparks, like curls of lightning. We’ve entered the same Wonderland sky we slept beneath a lifetime ago while in a rowboat on the ocean of tears.

My arms wrap around his sturdy form and we sway back and forth, our movements synchronized as we climb higher and higher. Jeb gives the throttle some gas and we pick up speed, my wings spreading behind me and catching the wind. I whoop and holler and Jeb’s laughter joins in.

I clutch his waist tighter, the wheels skimming through the moon and leaving streaks of phosphorescent light on our zigzag race through the constellations.

I reach out and capture one star. It fizzes in my hand before crumpling into glistening dust.

DESTINATION

I squint at the sunrise, then look again at the bottle of stardust in my hand, determined to be stronger than the agonized ache behind my sternum. When my family had returned to Jeb’s hospital room that night three years ago, they found me asleep with my head on his chest. They thought he was sleeping, too, but he had quietly slipped away.

As they woke me, I felt something in my fist and opened it to reveal the last token of our time together. Everyone was so busy grieving, they didn’t notice that I had captured a star, or that I slipped it into my pocket—another secret to keep, the final magical stitch to complete my heart.