I didn’t have a clue who Sofia the First was, but she needed to talk about this. I had a feeling she hadn’t talked about it one time since it happened. All I could do for her was listen.

“She had dark brown curls like Sofia the First, and I always called her Princess Sofia to make her giggle. I’d pretend I got confused and thought she was the real Sofia the First. She’d say, ‘I’m Quinn, silly. Remember me?’ and I’d act surprised. That only made her laugh harder. They were my home. Quinn and Poppy. They wanted me there. I was accepted there . . . I miss them.”

If I could have one wish in this world, it would be to go back in time and fix this for her. To right this so she didn’t have to feel guilt over it her entire life. I didn’t care about my family shit. So I was a rich kid whose momma got knocked up by the man who was supposed to be my grandfather. Not a big deal when you’re dealing with death. Willa had so much more darkness to overcome, and I would be there for her no matter what. She could try and push me away, but I wasn’t going.

I was in love with Willa Ames. The girl she had once been and the woman she was becoming. Her heart was so damn big and accepting. Just being near her made things seem better.

My plans for the future had just taken a massive turn.

You’re Special, Willa Ames

CHAPTER 41

WILLA

I had to stop myself from saying more. It was like the flood gates had opened, and I couldn’t stop the words from pouring out of my mouth. All the stuff I’d kept to myself. The memories only I had now. I needed to say them. I needed someone else to know about Quinn’s smile and her giggle. It was like I in some way could give her life again. Just remembering.

“Were you there when Quinn was born?” His question surprised me. I hadn’t been expecting him to speak at all. I was reminiscing about a dead little girl he didn’t know. But he seemed to truly care.

“Yes. My mom let me go to the hospital with Poppy’s dad and her. We sat in the waiting room for hours reading books, eating snacks, and looking through the large window at all the other babies that came in to the nursery. It was a fun day. When Quinn was brought into the nursery in their dad’s arms, he had the biggest smile. Poppy hugged me, and we laughed and clapped at the little baby with dark curls already on her head. We were sure there had never been another baby that adorable.”

“So she was like your sister too.” He wasn’t asking a question. It was a statement. And he was right. She’d been my little sister just like Poppy’s. I had never missed a birthday or Halloween taking her trick-or-treating. All my good memories had Quinn and Poppy in them. It was funny how my most painful did as well.

“They both were. My sisters. Losing them took part of me. The best part.”

It was true. When they had laid them both in the ground, I had felt my heart go with them. My joy, my happiness, all of the good things went too. I couldn’t accept those with someone else.

“They would want you to find happiness again. To live for them. They won’t get life, and because of that you need to live it for them. Not forgiving yourself and placing blame on yourself isn’t doing their lives justice. They’d want more for you. This would be disappointing to them, Willa. They don’t blame you, and you shouldn’t either. You want to remember them, then do it. Talk about them. I’ll listen. Tell me everything. I’m here. But don’t live a life with no hope for happiness, because it isn’t fair to their memory.”

I turned to look at him. Had those words just come out of Gunner Lawton’s mouth? Where had the fun-loving playboy gone? I knew he was deeper than he let the world see, but I hadn’t been prepared for that. And if he meant them as much as it sounded like he did, then was he right? Was I not doing justice to their memory?

“Do you believe what you just said?” I asked him.

He nodded. “Hell yeah I do. Every damn word. And if you don’t listen now, be ready to hear them over and over again, because I intend to tell you until you get it. Until they’re real to you, too. You’re special, Willa Ames. You always were. They loved you because they saw in you what I did that day I caught you playing with my army men. Neither of those girls would want to think you gave up on life to punish yourself over their deaths. Neither was your fault, and deep down you know that. You just can’t say the truth because it hurts too much. You loved Poppy too much. But it was her fault, Willa. It was Poppy’s fault, and she knew it. She couldn’t live with it. That is the truth. Accept it.”

The tears I’d been fighting off, or at least trying to by only letting a few free at a time, began to stream down my face. Sobs that racked my body broke free, and I bent forward, wrapping my arms around my stomach to keep from completely falling apart.

He was right.

But that hurt so much.

Two strong arms wrapped around me, and I went willingly into his embrace. He didn’t say anything more, and even if he had, I wouldn’t have been able to hear him over the sobbing. The pain I’d bottled up for so long I let free. I accepted the truth. The one no one had told me until now. The one I was afraid to believe or accept because I didn’t want to blame Poppy. I loved her.

But to move on in life I had needed to hear it. Gunner had given me what no one else ever had. Reassurance that I deserved to live too. So many times I’d thought I should have killed myself. I loved Quinn, so why was I able to live and Poppy hadn’t been? Had I loved her less? Was I selfish? I had asked myself so many questions and battled with my own emotions over this for so long I forgot the basic facts. The ones that tonight I’d finally said out loud. To someone who was willing to listen.