In one long stride, I’m standing before Moira. My hand snakes out and wraps around her throat, and I gently squeeze to get her attention. I graze my thumb across her jaw and take immense satisfaction in the way her eyes glaze over a bit.

“On the contrary, Moira… it’s just getting started.”

Chapter 6

Moira

I think I might pass out, and it doesn’t have to do with Zach’s grip around my throat. He’s holding me so gently that I can only feel the roughness of his palm against my skin, and nothing more.

No, it’s his words, the carnal hunger in his eyes, and the way in which he commands me that this is not stopping, but rather just starting.

He’s not told me to… he’s not pushed me one way or the other, but I long to just drop to my knees before him and surrender to what he wants of me.

On my date with Michael today, all I could think about was Zach sitting back at my house. Probably naked. Probably masturbating. I know the man has an immense sexual appetite, as he had bragged to me a few days ago about how much he missed Tukaba—the woman he f**ked in front of me—and his ability to take her every day, sometimes more than once, whenever he felt the need. While he tended to wear clothing more routinely around the house, sometimes he would still walk around naked, and my eyes couldn’t help noticing the erection he would sport from time to time, particularly in the mornings.

He would always catch me looking, even though I tried hard to be subtle, then he would just smirk at me and head to the bathroom to “take a shower” even as his hand would start working at his c**k while he strode away from me.

He’s driving me absolutely crazy with lust and shame in equal measures.

Several times during my lunch date, Michael would ask if something was bothering me. I would blink my eyes to pull myself out of my fantasies of Zach, and try to focus back on what Michael was saying.

Michael is a professor in the mathematics department, and we’ve been good friends for a while. Not long before I left for the Amazon, Michael had actually asked me out on a date and I had thought, Why not? He was good looking, successful, and funny. He took me out to dinner for our first date and it was nice. He even kissed me goodnight when he walked me up onto my porch, and I remember thinking that he was a great kisser and was interested to see where it might lead. But then I got hired by Randall and before we could see each other again, I was headed to the Amazon to collect Zach.

Since I’ve been back, Michael has been pressuring me to go out again, but I put him off with excuse after excuse that I needed to spend time with Zach to get him acclimated. He finally cornered me into agreeing to lunch.

I kept telling myself that the reason I wasn’t all that excited to see Michael was because I had too much responsibility with Zach. But in truth, I just didn’t want to see Michael in a romantic way. Not when my thoughts were always centered on the blatantly erotic emotions that Zach made me feel day in and day out just by being in his presence.

But then I reasoned to myself, maybe this is a way for me to purge this lunacy out of my head that concerns Zach. Maybe if I actually went out with Michael so we could reconnect, I could keep the boundary I had put between my ward and me firmly in place, and I wouldn’t be tempted to cross over it.

But no such luck right now. Even though Michael gave me a hot kiss before I got in my car to leave after lunch, I find myself still very much wanting to capitulate to the pull of Zacharias Easton.

“I learned about the Kama Sutra today as well,” Zach says quietly, and my eyes blink at him. “I learned there are so many different positions. So much more than just the one way I know how to take a woman.”

“Zach… you shouldn’t have been learning about that stuff on the Internet. It can be confusing and distortive.”

He ignores me and sticks his nose below my ear, inhaling my scent. “I also learned a lot about the female body. I know exactly where your cl*t is now, and I know exactly how to make you orgasm… come… climax.”

His words rumble over me, and my chest heaves with the exertion to fill it with the oxygen his little speech has just sucked clean from my lungs.

“Want me to show you everything I learned today, Moira? Let me put into practice what I saw on that computer?”

My body is screaming “yes” but I still shake my head “no”. “We can’t. It’s not appropriate.”

Zach lifts his head and glares down at me, while he gives my throat a soft squeeze. His eyes are hard, brutal. “You have to give me something, Moira. I’m dying here.”

“It’s wrong,” I say, but I know it would feel so right.

Huffing with frustration, Zach releases his hold on me. His eyes blaze with fury, and he throws his arms out to the side in irritation. “Then take me back home. Back to where I can do what I want and don’t have to live by your silly rules. Take me back to Tukaba and let me practice all my newfound knowledge on her body. You deny me at every turn, Moira, so take me back to where I’m accepted.”

His words slice into me hard, and I can feel the bitter loneliness in his voice.

“No, Zach,” I implore him. “It’s too soon. You have so much more to see… and Randall wants to meet you.”

“Take me back or live up to what you promised me. You said you’d teach me about your sexual culture and the only thing I’ve gotten from you is a stupid children’s book.”

“I can’t have sex with you, Zach,” I say meekly, because I can’t… I just can’t do it and still maintain my sanity. I know the minute I give in, I’ll be wrecked beyond repair. I know the minute I give in, I’ll have debased my true intention of helping Zach on his mission to reintegrate into the world. It will become sordid and wrong.