And at two o’clock in the afternoon on a hot June day, for the first time in my life, I danced. It wasn’t the romantic dance I envisioned when I wrote dance on my list, but it was so much better. I looked up into the cloudless sky, flung my arms wide open and spun in circles laughing until I cried. Violet shook her head, a tiny smile lifting the corners of her lips. I grabbed Violet’s hand, Ashley pulling the other. We danced in circles, making fools of ourselves and not caring what anyone thought, just being free.

My heart burst right open, right there under the rainbow spray, as I watched Violet let go of her wariness and dance and squeal with her children. Violet had given me hope and love all those years; I had given her so little in return. But that Thursday afternoon, I gave Violet something just as precious. Freedom. I set her free. When I was gone, there would be no regrets for her. Violet turned to me, Mikey on her hip and Ashley twirling around in the sprays. Pure joy radiated from her face and I couldn't contain the happiness billowing like a mushroom cloud. Another memory for my scrapbook.

I wiped the tears streaming down my face and ran into the water, spinning Ashley around to her delight. We played for another half an hour until Mikey looked like he was about to fall over with sleepiness. None of us were ready to go, so we changed the kids out of their wet suits and into dry clothes. We lay on the blanket under the tree, letting the warm breeze dry us. The kids fell asleep within minutes. Violet and I looked up at the leaves of the oak tree hanging over our heads, the soft rustle a soothing lullaby.

“Do you still think of me as your sister?” Violet asked, breaking our silence.

I turned my head toward her. “Of course, Vi. You're the best sister I could have ever asked for.”

Her eyes filled with tears, “I wasn’t sure, because of Momma…” her words trailed off, and uncertainty hung between us.

“Vi, I don’t care about blood. It never mattered to me like it did to Momma.” Which made total sense now that I thought about it, Momma’s preoccupation with blood. “I love you, Violet.” My voice tightened as tears stung my eyes again. ”You were there for me when you could have walked away and saved yourself. Momma would have loved you more if you hadn’t taken my side. You gave up so much for me. What have I ever given you?”

Tears trickled from the corner of her eye, across the bridge of her nose and dripping to the blanket beneath us. Her lip quivered as she struggled to speak. “You gave me you.”

The dam of tears broke again and I cried softly, grateful for the love I didn’t deserve because the gift of me didn’t seem to be enough.

Chapter Seventeen

I took a nap on the blanket, a short one, but long enough to make me feel groggy and slightly muddled. Muffy lay next to me, her face on her paws, soft snores coming from her tiny body. Leave it to me to not only get a farting dog but a snoring one, too. But she was a good dog and I was grateful she was mine. I reached my hand over and scratched the back of her neck.

Lying there with the soft breeze tickling my skin, I realized this is what people meant when they said it’s the little things in life. I felt the tears returning. Enough tears. There wasn’t enough time left to waste on tears.

When the kids woke up, we loaded everyone into the minivan and headed to Violet’s house. It didn’t take much convincing to get Ashley to jump on her trampoline in her backyard with me, especially considering she had begged me to jump many times before. When we tired of jumping, we played dress up. Ashley gave me a makeover, placed a tiara on my head and we paraded around the house using our princess waves. Afterward, I convinced Violet to teach me the basic elements of knitting.

“Now? Let’s do it next week.”

“No,” I said a little too abruptly.

Violet narrowed her eyes. “What’s the rush?”

I’m going to die on Sunday and it’s on my list of things I wish to do before I die didn’t sound like an appropriate answer. I shrugged then tried Ashley’s puppy face. “Please?”

Violet laughed, “I need to get dinner started.”

“Just a few steps…”

“Stitches.”

“Just a few stitches. Please?”

Violet relented and thankfully I was a fast learner.

“What do you want to make?” she asked as I cast a long row of uneven stitches.

“I dunno, a scarf?”

“That’s pretty easy. You keep up at that pace and you could be done in a couple of weeks.”

I didn’t have a couple of weeks, but that didn’t matter. I just needed to learn how to knit.

I washed my face before I left. I would have just enough time to make sure my house had been put together before Joe showed up.

When we got home, Muffy sniffed around our yard, reacquainting herself with the territory and marking all the appropriate places. I pulled the keys from under the mat as Joe pulled in.

“Please don’t tell me you had those keys under your rug,” he said as he got out of the car.

“Okay, then I won’t.”

He groaned as he walked over. He looked dirty, his hair a scroungy mess. Streaks of grease covered his hands and ran up his arms. He smelled of sweat and gasoline. As crazy as it was, I had never seen him sexier.

“Why would you do such a thing?” he asked, but not in his usual bossy tone.

“It was only this one time. The cleanin’ ladies left them under the mat since I wasn’t home when they finished.”