Maybe I was more like Joe than I thought.

Chapter Fifteen

Mason woke me up again that night. The room was dark except for the moonlight shining through the sheer curtains on the windows. This time he was thrashing around, a few words mingled in with his grunts.

“You son of a bitch…you think you can…”

Steeling my back, I placed my hand on his shoulder and gently called his name. “Mason.”

He bolted upright and threw me backward onto the bed. I lay on my back and watched him come to his senses. He spun at the waist and looked down at me, his face twisted with dismay. “Did I hurt you?”

I sat up and tried to give him a hug, but he scooted away from me.

“Answer me, Rose, did I hurt you?”

“No.”

“I want the truth, dammit.”

I cringed. “It’s the truth. I promise.”

He reached for me then, tugging me to his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s a nightmare, Mason. You can’t help that.”

“They’ll just keep getting worse. They did before.”

“Your dreams…they’re about the man who killed Savannah?”

He swallowed. “Yes.”

“Are you dreaming about…” my voice trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

“About beating him?” His words were harsh. “Yes.”

I picked up his hand and kissed his knuckles, still bruised from hitting Joe. He tried to pull away, but I turned his hand over and kissed his palm. “I’m not afraid of you, Mason. But I’m afraid for you. I want you to talk to Jonah. He’s helped me more than you know. I think he can help you too.”

He sat still for several seconds. “Okay.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “Now let’s go back to sleep.”

I tried to pull him down, but he resisted. “I’m going to sleep in the other room.”

He started to get off the bed, but I held on tight. “Mason, no.”

“They will get worse and I will hurt you. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.” When I still wouldn’t let him go, his hand covered mine. “Rose, please.”

“I like having you with me. I’ll be lonely in bed without you.”

He cupped my cheek and gave me a gentle kiss. “Sweetheart, it’s not just you we need to think about. What if you are pregnant? What if I accidentally hurt you and the baby while coming out of a dream? It’s safer to me to sleep in the other room.”

Not wanting to make him more agitated, I let him go without saying another word.

I tossed and turned after he left, missing him, which was just silly. When Joe and I were together, we’d only spent about three nights a week in the same bed. This was just further proof of how much I needed Mason.

I woke up to sunshine and Muffy snoring at the foot of the bed. I reached for Mason and found only an empty pillow. I sat up and noticed the door to the sunroom was open, which I was sure had been closed the night before. I slid out of bed and padded across the cold wood floor, stopping in the threshold. What I saw inside made my breath stick in my throat.

Mason sat in the rocking chair, staring at the crib against the wall. A baby blanket lay across his leg and there was a tiny onesie in his hand. Sensing my presence, he turned his head toward me and held up the pink-footed onesie, giving me a half-hearted smile. “It’s hard to believe you were this tiny.”

Sometimes it was hard for me to register that this room had been mine for the first month and a half of my life. It had been left pretty much exactly as Dora had left it that fateful day of her car accident, like a time capsule of the life I was supposed to have had.

“I know.” I took several steps inside, feeling like an intruder. “What are you doin’ in here?”

“Trying to wrap my head around the possibility of having a baby.” He definitely didn’t sound too happy about the prospect.

My breath caught and I felt like I was going to throw up. What if he changed his mind about doing this with me?

“I’m going to let Muffy out, then take a shower and get ready to go to church.”

His gaze returned to the crib. “I think I’ll skip today. I need to work on my case.”

“The one you won’t tell me about?” When he didn’t answer, I pressed on. “Does it have to do with the shakeup in the sheriff’s department?” I knew he’d spent months searching reports trying to figure out who was responsible for the leak.

“No.”

I held back a groan of frustration. But he’d promised to tell me when he was ready. Besides, it was probably official business he wasn’t supposed to talk about. I had to accept that Mason’s job was cloaked in a lot more secrecy than mine.

I texted Neely Kate once I was ready, asking her if I could sit with her at church since I’d be alone. She texted back to tell me that she’d pick me up at the farm, which was on her way into town. Ronnie was going fishing, so she’d be alone too.

Mason was in the office, fully engrossed in his work, when Neely Kate pulled up the drive. He’d been acting distant and I was worried. He was either concerned about his nightmares, me kissing Joe, him hitting Joe, or all of the above. None of it was good. I stood in the doorway, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth as I watched him type on his laptop. Several seconds later, he glanced up and saw me in the doorway.

I must have had a pitiful look because he spun his chair around and reached for me. “Come here.”