“Andrea, I couldn’t tell you. He was blackmailing me, remember? He didn’t ever want either of you to know it was him. He was going to take the painting and sell it and you’d never be any the wiser.”

“Oh, so that makes it better?”

“At least Alfie wouldn’t have had to go through seeing him. He’s clearly having some kind of a meltdown.”

“Alfie is none of your concern anymore.”

“You don’t own him.”

“No, but I protect him. He’s my family and he never trusts people, but he trusted you. He considered you a friend. The worst part is that I’m the one who brought you into his life, and I’m the one who encouraged him to spend time with you. Now he’s suffering and it’s all because I let you into our lives.”

He took a step toward me but I held up my hand. “Don’t. Don’t come any closer.”

“I promise if I could go back and change things I would.”

At this I bit out a humourless laugh. “No, you wouldn’t. Because if you did things any differently those men would’ve been paying a visit to your home instead of mine, and they wouldn’t have left at throwing a few bits of furniture around.”

“Exactly. My hands were tied.”

I frowned, my words stuttering, “N-no y-you still . . . God, I don’t even understand how you and Raymond were even in the same prison. He was prosecuted and sent to an open prison for white-collar crimes.”

“He got on the wrong side of one of the other inmates. This guy had a lot of sway with the higher ups and he didn’t want the Duke, I mean Raymond, around anymore, so he had him transferred,” Stu explained.

I gaped at him. “Is that even legal?”

“Half the stuff that goes on in prison isn’t legal. That’s what happens when you house a bunch of criminals together.”

“Yes well, I’ll know not to trust one in the future,” I said harshly, folding my arms across my chest.

“Andrea, please.”

“No, Stu, I don’t want to hear it. All I want to do right now is salvage what I can of my furniture, make sure my cousin is okay, and then go to bed. I don’t want to talk to you. I’m sick of talking.”

He mimicked me when he folded his arms and stood completely still. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Well then you’re going to have a long night ahead of you.”

I moved by him and went into the kitchen, ignoring him completely as I went about collecting the broken cups and plates and putting them in a black bin liner. Warm fingers covered mine. “Let me help,” Stu urged.

I pulled the bag from his hold and turned away. He let out a long, tired sigh as I kept busy cleaning. I heard movement in the living room and knew he was cleaning up in spite of me telling him I didn’t want his help. Of course he wouldn’t listen. By the time I had the kitchen back to rights the living room was almost good as new. I still couldn’t face him though. Instead I went to my bedroom and locked the door. A few minutes later there was a gentle knock.

“Andrea, let me in.”

“Go away.”

“Please, don’t . . . don’t do this.”

“I didn’t do this. You did this.”

“I didn’t have a choice.” His voice was scratchy, and in spite of myself my heart panged. He was hurting too but I couldn’t let myself feel any sympathy. His family was now safe. He was a liar. I had to remember how he’d deceived me.

“I said go away,” I finally managed, trying to keep my voice steady even though all I wanted was to break down. I cared for him so much and now everything was ruined. Even if he truly was sorry I’d never be able to trust him again. He loved his family, and I didn’t hold that against him, not for a second. But the fact remained that for him they’d always come first.

From the beginning I tried not to hold Stu’s past against him, but now I knew that I had to. What if some other criminal he knew came along and blackmailed him the same as Raymond had? He’d protect his family before Alfie and me, and that meant I couldn’t have him in my life. I couldn’t put my family at risk. All I had was three people: Alfie, Mum, and Dad. I used to have four but lost one, and I knew I wouldn’t survive the pain of losing another. I almost didn’t survive the last time. Some days I was still only hanging on by a thin thread.

Hanging on by determination and duct tape.

I refused to live like that anymore. I had to at least learn that I could move forward. Just not with Stu.

“Andrea, let me see your face,” Stu whispered but I ignored him. His voice made me want to give in and I had to be strong.

As I crawled into bed I heard him slide down to sit on the floor. He could stay out there all night; I still wasn’t opening my door.

Twenty-Four

I didn’t hear Stu move for a long time, and after lots of silently shed tears I drifted off to sleep. When I woke it was because my alarm went off, and regrettably I had to get up for work. My heart still felt very broken, and I struggled to leave my room.

I really hoped Stu wasn’t still outside.

Very slowly I unlocked my door and opened it. The hallway was empty. I frowned as I glanced at the front door, because the lock wasn’t broken anymore. Taking a few more steps towards it I saw it was repaired and knew it had to have been Stu. Again I felt a pang in my heart but I endeavoured to ignore it.

I went to Alfie’s room, knocking first before peeking my head inside. I expected to find him asleep but he was up, a new canvas in front of him as he went to work on it with a combination of blacks, yellows, and oranges. Approaching him, I placed a hand on his shoulder but he flinched away from my touch.

“Don’t. Please,” he whispered, not turning to look at me. “I just want to be alone.”

I didn’t push him. Instead I nodded sombrely and went to take a shower. It wasn’t until I was under the spray that I let myself cry. I thought I couldn’t possibly have any more tears left in me but I was wrong. I hated seeing him in pain.

The entire drive to work I twisted my ring around and around, an outward sign of my inner turmoil. Thankfully, I was early and none of my students had arrived yet. I wondered if Stu would come today. Half of me didn’t want to see him, but the other half didn’t want him to give up on his education. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing him every day, but there were plenty of other adult classes at the college he could transfer to.