From Kestrel’s windows that day, she saw banners on the barbican rise and blow toward the sea with a wind that must have been warm. A fine rain—not snow—blurred the view. Firstspring would come sooner than Kestrel wanted. Then Firstsummer, and the wedding.

Alone, she shook dead masker moths from their envelope of paper onto a mosaic marble table. She’d given half of her moths to Tensen in the market, in case he wanted to leave one for her on the painting in the gallery.

Kestrel watched moths change to match the mosaic. Then she pushed one with a delicate finger and watched it change again.

She felt a surge of anger at the moths for hiding so well. She resisted an urge to crush them.

Couldn’t she try to explain herself to Arin? Last night, Kestrel had been ready to tell him everything. She still could.

Uncertain, Kestrel swept the moths back into their packet.

Deliah came. Kestrel had forgotten that she was supposed to be fitted for a day dress. The Herrani woman pinned around her. Kestrel watched the window mist with rain.

Deliah paused in her pinning. “I think you should know that Arin left today. He sailed when the wind rose.”

Kestrel’s gaze flinched away. She looked again toward the window as if she would be able to see the harbor, and beyond that, the waves, and on the waves, a ship. But all Kestrel saw were the battlements of the palace. The rain had stopped. It had lifted its gray veil. The sky was clean now, and brutally clear.

22

Young courtiers were making kites for the city’s war orphans. Waxed black parchment was glued to stick frames and painted with the golden eyes and feathers of birds of prey. Kestrel and Verex would bring them to the orphanage on Firstspring.

In the large solarium, which had been added to the palace after the Herrani invasion as if the emperor had seized the whole history of Herrani architecture along with its country, Kestrel made a paper chain for a kite’s tail. At other tables, courtiers talked quietly. Kestrel sat alone. Her fingers moved quickly, but she felt as if someone else was making them move, and that she was no more than that cloth doll she’d seen carried through the crowd of the Butcher’s Row.

Kestrel thought of visiting the children. She thought of telling them how their parents had brought honor to the empire. She thought of a ship sailing far away from her.

Her fingers stopped. Her throat closed. Kestrel summoned a new set of paints. She began to cover her kites with swirls of green and blue and pink.

Kestrel heard a rustle of silk as a woman claimed a nearby chair.

“Very pretty,” Maris commented. “But not military colors.”

Kestrel dipped her brush in a jar of water, rang it noisily around, and then set it in a pot of violet. “They’re children, not soldiers.”

“Why, you’re right, of course. This is much more cheerful! Here, let me help.”

Kestrel eyed her briefly, but Maris contented herself with painting in silence. After making her second kite look like a gaudy butterfly, Maris said, “Your friend has a delicious brother. Tell me all about him. Is he taken?”

Kestrel lifted her brush. Paint dribbled down her sleeve. “What?”

“Lord Ronan. Very lucky, isn’t it, that the conquering of Herran gave us so many more titled young men? All that new territory, so nicely portioned out by the emperor ten years ago, with lovely titles to go with it. Too bad the land is gone. But a lord is a lord forever. And he is such a lord! Just the other day, I saw Ronan fight in the city, and—”

“You didn’t. You can’t have.”

Maris’s eyes flashed. “He’s not yours to keep or give.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“We can’t all be empresses. I must marry. I am nearly twenty.” Maris’s voice dropped. “I don’t want to go to war.”

“I meant that you must have seen someone else in the city.” Kestrel tried to speak evenly, but she already didn’t believe her own words. “Ronan isn’t in the capital. He went with Jess and their parents to the south.”

“I assure you, he didn’t.”

“They went away.” Kestrel’s lips had gone numb. “For Jess’s health.”

Maris’s expression changed. Kestrel saw it shift from confusion to a curious understanding before it settled, finally, into a kindness that made Kestrel’s stomach clench. “Lady Kestrel,” said Maris, “you are mistaken. I have wondered why their family avoids the court, but Jess and Ronan attend many functions in the city. I have seen them several times. They’ve been in the capital ever since your engagement ball.”

* * *

Kestrel went to Jess’s townhome in the city. Jess’s footman took her card, embossed with her personal seal, and accepted her into the receiving room, which was lined with polished, crossed spears. There was no trace of dust. The house showed no signs of having been closed up for a family journey south.

“The lady is not at home,” the footman said.

“But the family’s in residence?” Kestrel pressed. “Is Jess usually here?”

The footman shifted, and was silent.

“Is her brother home?” Kestrel asked.

When the footman still said nothing, Kestrel said, “Do you know who I am?”

The footman confessed that Ronan kept odd hours. “He’s often not here. And his sister—”

“If she’s not here, then I’ll wait in the parlor until she returns,” Kestrel said, though this proposal risked seeing Ronan.