‘Hey Rosie, hi.’

‘Can she see me?’ said Rosie.

‘Yep,’ said Eugenie. ‘You’re wearing a—’

‘I believe you,’ said Rosie, laughing, and left the room, waving to me from the doorway. Eugenie resumed our conversation but I was now distracted.

‘Does Dad want to come home?’

‘Of course! He misses everyone.’

‘Even Mum? Does he say that?’

‘Of course. I should go to bed. It’s late here.’

‘Mum says he needs to sort some things out. Is he?’

‘He’s making excellent progress. We have a men’s group as recommended in my book on pregnancy, consisting of a refrigeration engineer, your father, a rock star and me. I’ll give you a progress report in a few days.’

‘You’re so funny. You haven’t really got a rock star… Hey, why are you reading a book on pregnancy?’

‘To assist Rosie with production of our baby.’

‘You’re having a baby? Mum didn’t tell me.’

‘Probably because she doesn’t know.’

‘It’s a secret?’

‘No, but I saw no use in giving her the information. She’s not required to take any action.’

‘Mum! Mum! Don and Rosie are having a baby!’

Claudia pushed Eugenie out of the way, which seemed rude, and it was now obvious that the conversation would continue. I wanted to talk to Claudia, but not now and not with Eugenie present.

‘Don, that’s wonderful news. How do you feel?’

‘Excited, end of story,’ I said, combining Gene’s recommended answer with the conversation terminator I had learned from Rosie.

Claudia ignored my signal. ‘That’s wonderful,’ she repeated. ‘Where’s Rosie?’

‘In bed. Possibly not sleeping due to my absence. It’s extremely late.’

‘Oh, sorry. Well, please pass on my congratulations. When is she due?’

After conducting an interrogation on pregnancy-related topics, Claudia said, ‘So Gene’s out, is he? He’d promised to talk to Eugenie. Where is he?’

‘I don’t know.’ I clicked the video off.

‘I’ve lost your face, Don.’

‘Some technical issue.’

‘I see. Or I don’t see. Well, doing whatever he’s doing isn’t going to solve Eugenie’s science problem.’

‘I’m an expert at science problems.’

‘And also a decent person. Are you sure you’ve got time?’

‘When does it need to be completed?’

‘She was very anxious to get it done tonight. But if you have other things…’

It would take less time to answer a primary-school science question than to negotiate an alternative arrangement with Claudia.

‘Proceed.’

Eugenie returned and I restored the video. Eugenie turned it off again.

‘What’s the science problem?’ I asked.

‘There’s no science problem. I just told Mum that. Like I’d have a science problem. Face-palm.’

‘Face-palm?’

‘Like der. I’m top of the class in science. And maths.’

‘Can you do calculus?’

‘Not yet.’

‘So you’re probably not a genius. Excellent.’

‘Why excellent? I thought it was good to be smart.’

‘I recommend being smart but not a genius. Unless the only thing you care about is numbers. Professional mathematicians are usually socially inept.’

‘Maybe that’s why everyone is saying mean things about me on Facebook.’

‘Everyone?’

She laughed. ‘No, just lots of kids.’

‘Can you construct some sort of filter?’

‘I can block them. I kind of don’t want to. I want to see what they say. They’re still kind of my friends. I’m sounding stupid, right?’

‘No. It’s normal to want information. It’s normal to want to be liked. Is there any threat of violence?’

‘Nah. They just say stupid things.’

‘Probably a result of being stupid. Highly intelligent people are often bullied. As a result of being different. That difference being high intelligence.’ I was conscious of not sounding highly intelligent.

‘Did you get bullied? I bet you did.’

‘You would win the bet. Initially violently, until I learned martial arts. Then more subtly. Fortunately I am not a subtle person, so once the violence stopped, things were much better.’

We talked for fifty-eight minutes, including the initial conversation and the Claudia interaction, exchanging information about bullying experiences. I could not see any obvious solution to her problem, but if her distress was at the level I had experienced as a child, I was obliged to offer any knowledge that might assist.

In the end, she said, ‘I have to go to horseriding. You’re the smartest person I know.’ In terms of intelligence quotient, she was probably right. In terms of knowledge of practical psychology, she was wrong.

‘I would not rely on my advice.’

‘You didn’t give me any. I just liked talking to you. Can we do this again?’

‘Of course.’ I had also enjoyed the conversation. Except for thinking about the alternative activity in the adjacent room.

I terminated the connection. As I was leaving Gene’s room, the computer beeped with a text message: Good night. I <3 you, Don.