Avery’s hand tightens around mine and she dutifully follows me. I know she isn’t going to let Stacia interfere again. I’m proud of my girl.

I pause at the stairs, realizing maybe it’s rude to drag her directly to my bedroom. It is Saturday night, and there is a party going on. Maybe she wants to hang out for a bit. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

She looks at me like I’ve just asked her if she likes murdering puppies. “Get your hot ass up those stairs and quit stalling.”

Whoa. That was fucking hot. “Yes ma’am.” She doesn’t have to tell me twice. If she’s even half as ready for this as me, she’s probably ready to combust. I know I am.

Once we’re inside my room, she’s instantly in my arms, pressing her body to mine and kissing me. I kick the door shut behind us. I need to calm myself so this isn’t over before it starts. I don’t want to embarrass myself. And I need to remember this is her first time.

Moving Avery to my bed, I give her shoulders a playful shove, and she falls back on the mattress, giggling. Unable to stay away, I quickly join her. “You’re gorgeous when you laugh like that.”

Her face gets serious and I’m about to ask her what’s wrong, but her fingers fumble at the button on my jeans and I’ve suddenly forgotten how to talk.

Avery

I want to do this. I need to do this, but I’m hit with a wave of nerves as I tug Jase’s black boxer briefs down on his hips. He lifts slightly off the bed to help me. His thick erection bobs free, greeting me, and I suddenly tense. I haven’t really seen it in the light like this before. It’s bigger than I was expecting. Wrapping my hand around him, Jase sucks in a breath and reclines against the bed. His flesh is hard and warm, and I can’t resist stroking my hand from the base to the tip, squeezing lightly. Jase groans softly, his eyes locked on mine. I climb off the bed, and situate myself on my knees in front of him. Might as well get the full experience. But before I can touch him again, he grasps my shoulders with both hands.

“What are you doing?” He’s breathless. It’s adorable.

“I thought it was obvious.” For some reason, I feel all proud and powerful, even though I’m the one on my knees.

“Avery, you do not have to do this.” He gaze is serious, like he’s legitimately concerned. But I’m not doing this for him. This is for me.

“Jase, I want to.” I do. I want to see what all the fuss is about. If I don’t like it, I’ll stop. Without waiting for him to respond, I grasp him firmly in one hand. Lowering my head until my mouth meets warm flesh, I give him a slow French kiss, swirling my tongue around the swollen head. Jase’s low moan is the sexiest sound I’ve ever heard. Emboldened by his obvious satisfaction, I draw him into my mouth, leaving nothing on the table. I kiss, lick, suck and stroke until Jase is rocking his hips and cursing under his breath. It’s a very powerful feeling knowing I’m the one making him feel these things.

Jase’s hand on my jaw pulls my eyes up to his. “Babe,” his voice is a raspy whisper. “You need to stop.”

Pride swells within me, knowing that I’ve brought him so close to the edge. He helps me up from the floor and I lie down next to him. I’m so glad that I waited for Jase for my first time. I’m not even nervous as Jase removes my jeans and panties. I pull my top over my head, and he unclasps my bra. After we’re each undressed, we slide under the sheets and continue kissing. I wrap my leg over his hip and curl my body into his. I can feel his hardness pressing against my lower belly.

“Jase,” I whimper.

Without making an awkward production of things, Jase reaches for a condom and puts it on, kissing me while he does. Knowing there’s nothing standing in our way now and that I’m about to have him pushes me onward. I grip his shoulder with one hand, the other tucked uselessly between us, but I clutch at his hip. Slowly, carefully, Jase positions himself against me. We’re lying side by side, eyes open, watching each other and kissing as he slides inside me. I can feel him press forward and begin to penetrate me, and though it’s slightly uncomfortable, it doesn’t hurt as bad as I thought.

I never imagined we’d be facing each other like this – with the lights on – but it makes it so much more intimate. I can see the tension in his jaw as he pushes forward again, feel the warmth of his breath as it quickens against my mouth. The fullness inside me is almost unbearable, but pleasurably so. I tighten my leg around his hip and he slides in deeper. Jase’s eyes drift closed as a low guttural moan leaves his throat. “Shit, baby, you’re so tight.”

I think that must be a good thing by the effect it has on him. I almost giggle, but when Jase opens his eyes again, the intensity in them takes my breath away. “You don’t have to hold back…I like it.”

He groans again and kisses me deeply, his tongue gliding against mine as he thrusts into me hard. Oh. I didn’t know it would feel like that. I pull a deep breath into my lungs as the last of my virginity is obliterated. Jase moves into me, his arms holding me tight against him and I’m lost to the sensations, the emotions flooding my system. Desire. Lust. Love. Things only Jase makes me feel.

His eyes meet mine, and he pushes the hair out of my face. “Are you going to be able to come like this?”

It feels good, but I don’t know. “I’m not sure,” I answer honestly.

Jase reaches a hand between us, and just like he did up against the bathroom counter, he finds the spot that makes me tremble and massages it with the pad of his finger. Then he resumes thrusting into me, more slowly than before. I let my eyes slip close and focus on the sensations. Each time he thrusts in I whimper, and as he drags himself out slowly, I focus on the way he’s caressing me. Soon I’m moaning out his name. Close…so close….

“Jassssse….” I come, loudly, my body shuddering against his.

Seconds later Jase groans and buries his face in my neck as he comes. His breath against my neck is the most erotic sound ever.

Afterwards, we lie together, a heap of warm heavy limbs and tangled sheets. Jase lightly strokes his fingertips against my arm. Everything about this moment is perfect.

“I love you, Whistle,” Jase whispers.

“I love you too.” Letting Jase in is scary, but I’m so glad I have.

I feel him smile against my cheek. “Was everything…okay?”

I lean up on my elbow to look down at him. Is he really asking me this? “It was perfect.”

His grin is huge, and his eyes dance on mine. Okay, so he’s clearly proud of his performance. His enthusiasm makes me smile. His thumb lightly strokes my cheek and his voice drops lower. “So you’ll be ready to go again then?”

“Is that a challenge?” I ask.

“Yes,” his voice is firm.

I shake my head. “No. No more challenges.”

“Are you done with me now?” He chuckles.

My mouth turns up a notch. “No. I’m just ready for you in a new way.” The future lies out wide and open in front of me. And I’m ready to live.

Wrapping his palm around the back of my neck, he guides my mouth to his.

Chapter 32

Avery

Entering the classroom for our Human Sexuality final, Jase begins chuckling. I turn to see what’s caught his eye. Self-Love 101 is written on the white board at the front of the room. Oh, this should be interesting. Professor Gibbs hadn’t given us any indication what would be on the final today, and now suddenly I’m nervous.

Once the class is settled, Professor Gibbs sets my mind at ease. All we have to do is write one last journal assignment on what we’ve learned in his class, and we’ll turn this in as our final.

We get to work, and Jase steals glances me throughout the hour-long class, a little smirk tugging his lips. I wonder how much of his paper is about me. I will kill him if he writes anything embarrassing. Especially anything about my first orgasm. I glance at his paper and swear I see the word Whistle. He clucks and shakes his head, shielding the page from my view. I narrow my eyes and keep writing.

Once our papers are turned in, Professor Gibbs invites anyone who cares to share to tell the class what they’ve learned. The old me would’ve hung my head, dare not make eye contact with him for fear of being called on. The new me has butterflies in her belly, half of me wanting to raise my hand, the other half nervous and unsure.

A girl in the back shouts out, “Communication during sex is important. We’ve gotta teach guys what we like!”

The class erupts in laughter.

A guy sitting in front of me with a mop of blond curls raises his hand. “Use lotion. Less chafing.”

I roll my eyes. A few more people speak up, and most of them take it seriously. The girl next to me says she’s learned if you want a real relationship, not to jump into bed right away. Jase surprises me by raising his hand next. I’m more than a little curious about what’s on his mind.

“I learned a lot this semester. I met this amazing girl, and we worked on her ability to…O…I mean overcome some fears and insecurities. And I learned it’s more fun to give than to receive.”

My face goes bright red. I want to kick him. But when his gaze meets mine, I just smile at him. A big, dumb, I’m-totally-in-love-with-you grin. It’s the same grin he’s giving me. With Jase’s encouragement, my butterflies take a leave of absence and I raise my hand.

“Avery,” Professor Gibbs nods.

“If something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it. And most importantly, never film it.”

Once the words leave my lips, I’m a little unsure if I should’ve said all that. It’s probably too bold to put that out there, but hey, let them wonder. I have nothing to hide. Anymore.

“Amen sister,” a girl calls from the back of the room and my nerves ease.

Jase is watching me, his blue eyes dancing on mine. No regrets. Just life lessons. And I’m feeling pretty good about what I’ve learned.

* * *

The End