“Today.”

“Today? But it’s too fast.” Alarmed, she reached out, grabbed Lila’s hands. “You can’t be ready. You can’t—”

“It’s all set. Let me explain.”

She took Julie through all the steps, the plans, the fail-safe options.

“Lila, I wish you wouldn’t do this. I wish you’d go, just go with Ash anywhere, even if it meant I’d never see you again. I know you won’t. I know you, and know you can’t, but I wish you would.”

“I thought about it. I really thought about it last night. Middle of the night, going over and over everything in my head. And because I tried to find a way to do it, I realized it had stopped being about sex and fun and affection. I guess it never was just about that. But wherever we went, it would still be a kind of house arrest. We’d never be really sure, really safe.”

“But more sure. More safe.”

“I don’t think so. I started playing what if. What if when she can’t find us, she goes after our family? Our friends? She could find my parents, Julie, hurt them. She could hurt you. I can’t live with those what ifs.”

“I know you can’t, but I can wish you would.”

“We’re working with the police, the FBI. We’ll have these awesome micro-recorders. Plus, the biggest plus, Ash is offering him exactly what he wants. There’s no reason to hurt us if we’re agreeing to give him what he wants. All we have to do is convince him to make the deal. Then we walk away and the police take over.”

“You can’t believe it’ll be that simple. You can’t think this is some sort of adventure.”

“Not an adventure, a necessary and calculated step. I don’t know what it’s going to be, but it’s worth the risk, Julie, to have a real life again. It’s worth the risk so the next time my head won’t turn off in the middle of the night, it’s because I’m thinking about what I want with Ash. What I can give, what I can take.”

“Do you love him?”

“He thinks I do.”

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“I think I do. And wow.” She rubbed her knuckles between her br**sts. “That’s a lot to think for me. But I don’t know what that means for either of us until this is over. And it’s going to be over. Then I’m going to help you plan your wedding to your once-and-future husband. I’m going to figure out my own life. I’m going to finish this book all the way instead of essentially.”

“What time today?”

“We’re meeting him at two. Julie, I believe we’re going to go there, make the deal, walk out, just the way I explained it. But if something goes wrong, I wrote a letter to my parents. It’s in my travel kit, in the top right drawer of Ash’s dresser. I need you to get it to them.”

“Don’t even think that.” Grabbing Lila’s hands, she squeezed hard enough to hurt. “Don’t.”

“I have to think. I don’t believe, but I have to think. I let a lot of things slide with my parents the last few years. And these last few weeks with Ash have made me think about that, realize that. I want them to know I love them. What I believe I’m going to do is go out there, take a week, ask Ash if he wants to meet them, which is a big, giant step for me. I believe I’m going to take it. I believe I want to take it. If something happens, I need them to know that.”

“You’re going to take Ash to meet them, and tell them you love them yourself.”

“I believe that, but I have to think. And I’m asking you to make sure they know in case of the what if.”

“There won’t be a what if.” Eyes shimmering, Julie pressed her lips together hard. “But yes, I promise. Whatever you need.”

“Thanks. It takes a weight off. The other thing is the book. I’d like a couple more weeks to shine it up, but if something happens . . .” She took a flash drive out of her pocket. “I made a copy for you to take to my editor.”

“God, Lila.”

“You’re the only one I can ask, or would ask. I need to know you’ll do those two things for me. Then I can just put them away, and I can just believe you’re never going to have to do them anyway.”

Julie pressed her fingers to her eyes a moment, struggled until she found her control. “You can count on me. You won’t have to, but you can count on me.”

“That’s all I need. Let’s have a celebration dinner tomorrow night, the four of us. Tonight’s going to be too crazy, I think.”

Nodding quickly, Julie grabbed tissues out of the box on her desk. “Now you’re talking.”

“The Italian place the four of us went the first time. I think we should make that our spot anyway.”

“I’ll make reservations. We’ll meet you there. Seven-thirty?”

“Perfect.” She stepped over, gave Julie a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow night—and I’ll call you tonight. I promise.”

And if she didn’t, she’d left a letter for Julie in the same drawer with the one for her parents.

Twenty-eight

Lila decided the blue dress Ash had given her after their first sitting would serve as a good-luck charm. She wore it with the moonstone necklace from Florence, deciding both would be good mojo.

She spent considerable time on her makeup. It wasn’t every day you had a business meeting with an international criminal who hired killers to do his bidding.

She checked the contents of her purse—as the special agent in charge had told her, Vasin’s security would. She decided to leave all her usual supplies in place. Wouldn’t that seem more normal?

She turned in the mirror, looked at Ash.

Clean-shaven, hair more or less tamed, and a steel gray suit that murmured power—because power didn’t have to shout—in every line.

“I’m too casual. You’re wearing a suit.”

“Serious meeting, serious suit.” He knotted a tie the color of a good cabernet perfectly, flicked a glance at her in the mirror. Then let it linger. “You look great.”

“Too casual,” she repeated. “But my serious suit is boring. Which is why it’s at Julie’s, because I only wear it on boring occasions, which this isn’t. And I swear I’m not going to babble like this much longer.”