Bethany tilted her head to the side to look at the couch. Sure, it was big, but not long enough for Drake to stretch out comfortably on. She shook her head. “No, I can take the couch. I’ll fit better on it than you will.”

“I want you to feel comfortable and safe, Bethy. And I’d prefer to sleep between you and the front door.”

He wanted to protect her, Bethany realized. Jen had been right; these werewolves took protection to a whole new level. Assuming any argument would likely be fruitless and only stress him out or cause more problems, she consented.

“Alright, if that is what you want,” she told him, staring up into his eyes that, though some might call grey, she saw as a shimmery silver color.

“Sometimes what we want and what we need are miles apart,” he told her. “I want to be able to give you space so that you don’t feel smothered. I know that you are probably still very confused. But I need to know you’re safe and I need to be near you. That is not something that I can change. That is an instinct that is controlled by the wolf.”

Bethany could tell that those words had been difficult for him to say. She felt through the bond that Drake was ashamed.

“Is it really shameful to need someone?” she asked him, truly wondering. Because if so, then she should feel ashamed too because she was rapidly coming to understand that she needed him as well. He made her feel wanted, safe, and cared for. Those were things she had not felt in a very long time. Drake gave her somewhere to belong again—a new family, a replacement for her family that had been ripped away from her. She didn’t want to feel ashamed of needing him.

“No,” he answered quickly and pulled her closer to him.

She could feel the warmth from his body seeping out of him and into her. She wanted to get closer, so she did. Bethany took another step, closing the gap between them so that their bodies were now touching. Drake froze. She didn’t even think he was breathing. Had she done something wrong? She started to take a step back but Drake dropped his hand from her neck and wrapped both arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. She held back the sigh of relief his embrace brought, but just barely.

“There is no shame in needing someone, Bethany.” His voice was rough with emotion and that same emotion filled his eyes. “I am ashamed because I feel like I am taking your choices from you. I don’t want you to feel like you went from one prison to another. I fear that you will one day resent me if I don’t let you go and experience life before deciding to commit to me.”

She blinked several times as she mulled over his words. She understood what he was saying, but she also thought that there could be a way where they could both get the things they needed.

She took a breath before looking back up at him. “If I want to go back to America, would you come with me?”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation.

“And if I want to go to” —she thought about the few countries that she could remember learning about when she was a girl— “China, would you go with me?”

“Yes.”

“And if I wanted to get my first cell phone, will you help me get one?”

“Of course,” he answered.

“And if I decided, after all the time we’d spent together, to leave, to live a different life than this one, would you let me go?”

His answer did not come as quickly this time. “I” —he swallowed— “I would if I could. If you didn’t want to be with me…I would let you go.”

Bethany believed him, but she could tell that there was something he wasn’t telling her. “But?” she coaxed. “What are you not saying, Drake?”

He closed his eyes. “I love it when you say my name.”

“Don’t try to distract me,” Bethany said dryly.

After several seconds, Drake opened his eyes. “I would let you go, but…” He emphasized the word. “In order for that to happen, I would have to request that my Alpha put me down.”

“Put you down where?” she asked. Her brow furrowed deeply and her lips thinned. She didn’t like the sound of that.

“I don’t want this knowledge to sway you, love. I want you to make whatever decision you feel is best for you, not based on my actions or reactions.”

“Please, Drake, tell me what that means.”

Drake sighed. It was heavy, as though he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. “It means he would have to kill me.”

She jerked back out of his arms. “What?” Her voice rose an octave and filled up the room.

“We are not human, Bethany. We do not respond to things as humans do. We are Canis lupus and we have our own ways. I know it’s hard to understand them if you’ve not grown up with them your whole life.”

She didn’t even know what to say. She literally held his life in the palm of her hands. “So, if I choose to walk away—” She took in a quick breath. Bethany’s hands were shaking and she didn’t understand why. “That would mean the end of your life? Just like that?”

Drake’s shoulders were tense and his mouth drawn into a hard line. He looked as if he’d rather eat nails than have this conversation. But Bethany wasn’t going to let it go. It was just too important.

“We should probably sit down for this conversation.” He motioned to the large, and suddenly inviting, couch.

She sat on one end, turning her body so that one leg was pulled up on the side while the other dangled. Drake sat, but he didn’t lean back. Instead, his elbows rested on his knees as he leaned forward. His hands were clasped together and his chin rested on the fist they made. It took so long for him to begin speaking that Bethany was kind of worried there would be a vampire apocalypse before she got the answers from him, but after several long minutes, he finally spoke.

“When a wolf finds his true mate, he has found the one woman he will spend his life living for or dying for—the only woman. She holds the other half of the male’s soul, and he holds hers. We mate for life, literally. If a mated pair has completed the Bonding Rites, then their fates are tied. If one dies, so does the other. We cannot live without our mate.”

That last sentence was said as if Bethany had asked him to live without air. And maybe she had.

Chapter 6

“How does someone survive in the dark once they’ve been shown how beautiful it is in the light?” ~Costin