He watched her and she knew he’d let go if she asked. Her head spun with it.

“Please.”

He paused before kissing her again. “Please stop or please don’t stop?”

“Please don’t stop.”

He tightened his hold at her wrists and she arched, brushing her body against his like a cat.

“Mmm, you feel so good.” He sucked her bottom lip. “Taste good, too. But there are other parts of you I need to taste because I’ve been denied you for so long.”

“So long? Three days. Jeez.”

He laughed. “Technically, it’s five days because we were nookie-less for a few days before the winery. Five days is close enough to a week. So hush and lemme lick you.”

She closed her mouth because she had no real argument with that plan.

He slid his hands from her wrists, pressing her forearms into the mattress. The breath left her lungs in a shaky exhale.

“Yeah, I like that, too.” He leaned some of his weight against her, enough to hold her down, not nearly enough to hurt her.

She struggled, but not really, and they both smiled at one another when he realized what she was doing.

He moved her arms to her sides, still holding them against the mattress as he licked down her chest, over her ni**les.

She gave over to him, falling into the way his mouth felt on her belly, over her hip bone, at the way his tongue felt sliding through her. And when she came, she opened her eyes to find him looking down at her.

“You’re beautiful when you come.”

He made her feel beautiful. Powerful, even as he held her arms down.

“You should let me taste you.”

“Nope. Maybe later. Right now, even as alluring as that mouth of yours is, I have other plans for my dick.”

He let go long enough to get a condom on and returned to her. “Roll over. Put that pretty ass up in the air and keep your head down. Arms above your head.”

Oh.

My.

She obeyed, and he caressed his hands all over her back. “This work is so beautiful.”

She made an inarticulate sound because she didn’t know how to speak with his hands on her like that. He reached around and slid his fingers through her.

“Trust me. Remember? Just want to make sure you’re ready.”

As if he hadn’t just made her come less than a minute before.

She pushed back against his fingers, and he stretched her a little before he pulled them out and replaced them with the blunt head of his cock. He left it there for long moments and then pressed in slowly.

Oh. So. Slowly. She had to force herself to be patient, digging her nails into the sheets. Wanting more and making herself wait, trusting him to give it to her. She wasn’t used to that. She took what she needed because who else would make sure she got it otherwise?

And he did in one glorious thrust, finally entering her fully.

Then he pulled nearly all the way out only to press back in again. Over and over. So slow and deep she thought she might die from how good it was.

He gripped her hips and f**ked into her body exactly how he wanted, and she loved every second of it.

He thrust into her over and over, drawing closer. Even through the latex of the condom, she felt him harden, knew he was nearing climax. The fingers of his left hand dug into her flesh as he reached around.

She briefly thought about protesting, but she knew he wanted another climax from her, and she tightened up her muscles, reaching for it with her whole body. And it broke over her, sucking her under as he sped with a mumbled exhalation of her name. She came and he came, hard, and it went on for so long she started to lose feeling in her knees.

He groaned and pulled out slowly. One-handed, he helped her settle in the blankets, quickly going to the bathroom to get rid of the condom and return, snuggling into her back, holding her against his body.

“I missed you. That wasn’t just something I said to fill the silence.” He kissed her shoulder.

“You sound sort of unsure of that. A little angry.”

“Sometimes.” He sucked in a breath. “If I want you to be open with me, I should be, too. So yeah, at first I was angry. I’ve... This is not what I’m used to.”

“Angry at me?”

“Angry at everything. It made me vulnerable. Missing you made me realize this wasn’t just me dating a woman I enjoyed. Your absence made me confront how much you mean to me. How much space you take up in my life. I wanted it not to matter but it did. And then my anger shifted.”

“Yeah?”

“Some things just are. You’re in my life and I like that. I hated that I’d done something to upset you. More than I was mad you didn’t just tell me what it was.”

She sighed, closing her eyes as she thought about all he’d said. “You scare me, Paddy.”

“I do?”

“Not physically. But...anyway, you matter to me and only people who matter to you can really hurt you.”

“I’ll try not to. But I will, anyway. I’m an amateur at this stuff. But I want you to tell me when I do. Even if you think I’m the biggest ass**le ever. I can’t fix it if I don’t know, and if I don’t know and you’re hurting, it’s not fair to me. Or to you.”

She blew out a breath, snagging his hand, kissing his knuckles. “I’ll do my best.”

“You hold your control like a shield. And I get why. But you can let me in sometimes, you know. I want you to trust me enough to do that. To let me be your shield. Isn’t it heavy? Exhausting?”