I remind him. “Tomorrow…eight a.m., JT. We’re settling this.”

“I’ll be there,” he mutters, and then he’s gone.

I take a few moments, collect my thoughts, and take a few deep breaths, but I’m still shaking with anger and frustration as I head back into the ballroom. Sela sits at the bar, her eyes locked on me with worry the minute I walk back in.

When I reach her, her hand comes to my chest and she asks, “Is everything okay?”

I huff out a sigh, pick up my drink, and take a healthy slug. Setting the glass back down, I scrub my hand through my hair again and shrug. “I don’t know.”

Sela’s hand grabs on to mine. She stands up from the stool and gracefully places her feet on the floor. Tugging at me, she says, “Come on…let’s dance.”

I don’t want to fucking dance.

It’s the last thing in the world I want at this moment, but I don’t want to drop Sela’s hand either, so I follow her in almost a trance out to the dance floor. When she reaches the middle and turns into my arms, I realize a song with a slow beat is playing. Sela steps into me and one of my arms goes automatically around her waist; the other takes her hand and brings it to my chest.

She curves one hand behind my neck and strokes me softly as she whispers in a reassuring voice, “Just relax and cool down.”

I look down at her as she stares up at me with earnest eyes filled with concern. My heart rate immediately takes a nosedive as I feel her hand on my neck and smell her peach lotion. I let out a huge pent-up breath of frustration and then give her a tired smile. “Sorry you had to see that.”

She shrugs and steps in closer to me. Her eyes are round, clear, and filled with respect. “Honestly…what you did. How quickly you reacted. It was the most amazing thing I think I’ve ever seen in my life.”

I try to make light of it, because the way she’s looking at me both embarrasses and humbles me. “I was just trying to impress you so you’d sleep with me tonight.”

She gives a tinkling laugh, her eyes bright with amusement. “That was already a given, Mr. North.”

I can’t resist. I lean down, capture her lips with mine, and give her a slow kiss. She sighs into my mouth and my arm around her waist tugs her in tighter to me.

Feels so fucking good holding her like this.

Dancing.

Kissing.

Just magical.

I pull my lips from hers and before I can even comprehend what I’m doing, I tell her, “Let’s do away with the agreement.”

Sela jerks in surprise and her lips draw down in dismay. “You want to end things now?”

“God, no,” I tell her quickly with a nervous laugh, reeling her back in close. “I mean…the time frame. It was only for a month. Let’s do away with that.”

“You want me to stay in your condo?” she asks hesitantly. “Like move in for real?”

“Well, yeah…sure,” I say, now not completely positive what I want or if this is the right thing to do. “I mean…your stuff is there, why not?”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Well, gee, Mr. Romantic…how can a girl pass up that offer?”

I laugh, give her a quick kiss, and then tell her, “Sorry. That wasn’t very suave. What I mean is that I don’t want you to leave in two weeks when the agreement is over. Okay?”

Sela’s blue eyes go a shade deeper as she stares at me in solemn consideration. Finally, she tips her head in agreement. “Okay. I can do that.”

“Excellent,” I say, and then bend down to kiss her again.

Sela rests her head against my shoulder and for a few moments we just sway back and forth to the music. Another thought strikes me. “Next week is Thanksgiving. My sister and niece are going to visit for a few days.”

“Want me to go back to my apartment while they’re here?” she asks quietly.

“What?” I ask startled as I push her away from me. Peering down at her I give her a chastising look. “I want you to meet them. I really want you to help me cook Thanksgiving dinner. I most certainly don’t want you going back to your apartment.”

She smiles at me again.

First in relief.

Then with happiness.

One of those unfiltered, genuine smiles where she gives me 100 percent of Sela Halstead.

And it’s fucking brilliant.

Chapter 15

Sela

For the first time in just over six months, I actually consider letting go of my vengeance against JT.

For just a moment, I consider what would happen if I focused instead on what I have here with Beck. He’s given me so much more than money for my education. He’s given me pleasure and respect. He’s given me self-worth. Beck has made it so that I don’t consider myself a victim. Without the weight of victimization on my shoulders, I have to wonder why revenge would be needed. And what would happen if I let the anger and rage go and opened up the empty space left behind to Beck North. I think I understand, deep in my heart, that he’d fill that space up perfectly.

The thought is thrilling yet scary.

It’s also short-lived, as I realize that Beck tonight saved a woman from JT’s clutches. What about the next woman though? And the one after that?

Because while Beck may think this is an isolated incident with his partner, I happen to know that a zebra doesn’t change its stripes.

When I saw JT boldly and assuredly sprinkle powder in that woman’s drink, I was overcome with hopelessness for the situation, inundated with fear for the unsuspecting, and flooded with painful memories of shame and humiliation. My stomach curdled, nausea rose, and I watched in stunned fascination as Beck pushed away from the bar. It was almost as if he was in slow motion as he strode angrily up to JT and pulled him roughly away. I watched as he yelled and pushed his partner across the floor, his face livid and flushed red. Internally, I chanted to myself, Kill him, kill him, kill him, wanting Beck to be my avenging angel, and was disappointed I didn’t see bloodshed before they walked out of my line of sight.

I considered following but was frozen to my seat. I shakily sipped at my martini until I finally just gulped it down before pushing the empty glass away. What if Beck right now called the police and JT was arrested? How would I ever get to him?

But maybe if that happened, I could come forward to the police with my story and he’d go down for my assault too. That wasn’t ideal to me, because while I had briefly considered this route when I first realized who Jonathon Townsend was, I just as immediately discounted it because it didn’t seem satisfactory enough for me. I needed to know the identity of all my rapists and there was no guarantee he’d give them up. I also don’t want JT populating this earth. As much as the idea of him getting gang-raped in prison appeals to me, I want to snuff out his wretched life so his brand of evil no longer exists. Finally, I want to make JT suffer before I end him. I want him scared, and I want him just as terrified of me as I was of him. I want all of them to suffer, and while I can’t bring down on them the same horrors they perpetrated on me, I can end their lives, and that was suffering, right? Not to get to live their evil, sociopathic lives?