“Uh…well…see you around. We’re late for a meeting,” Kendra said abruptly, tugging Susan down the hall.

“Uh, yeah. We’re really late,” Susan mumbled.

I figured either they thought I might have been eavesdropping on their conversation, or they felt guilty for talking about me. Either way, I could understand their situation. Had I been in their shoes, I would have blushed, too. However, I wouldn’t be talking like that at work. It served them right, and it almost felt good embarrassing them.

I had a few questions pop up in my mind again, questions I had dismissed before. Due to my insecurities, I began to wonder if I was right to bring them up again. It didn’t do any good seeing that text from Luke—‘Sooner or later, he’ll screw up.’ Neither did overhearing the nonsense from those ladies who had no idea what was going on. No matter how many times I told myself Max was different, my self-doubt was getting the better of me.

After making a cup of coffee, since that was the reason why I came here in the first place, I made a quick stop at Max’s office to pick up my sandwich and a heart-shaped Rice Krispie treat. Then I headed back to my department, this time with my heels clicking as loud as they wanted.

18

HAVING A CONFUSING DAY with Matthew, I tried not to think about what it all meant. Obviously, Matthew had some issues he needed to deal with and if I could be a friend, albeit a flirting friend, I certainly didn’t mind that. He was great company and really fun to hang out with. Knowing for sure we could only be friends, I knew our limitations so it would be easier to just move on.

It had been about four days since I had seen Matthew, but to my surprise, he texted me a couple of times. They were short and to the point, asking me how I was, but that was it. It was definitely friend-to-friend texting.

Just as I finished making dinner, Jenna walked through the door. I was confused about what day it was, since Jenna was always at Max’s place on Friday nights.

“Hey, Jenna. This is a wonderful surprise,” I said, waving my spatula. You want some curry?”

“You made your special curry?” Jenna looked happy.

“Yup. Almost done.”

“I would love some. Let me go change and I’ll be right back.” She was gone for just a few minutes. It didn’t take her long to change and put her hair up.

“No Max tonight?”

“I told him that I’d like to stay home and spend some time with you, since I’m seeing him tomorrow night. What can I help you with?”

“Awww, that’s so sweet, but one day, you’ll get married and you’ll have to leave me. I might as well get used to it.”

Jenna started to scoop rice on the plates. “How do you know I’ll be getting married first? Besides, Max isn’t…I mean…we’ve never even discussed marriage. It’s way too soon.”

Jenna swung two plates around to me. With a ladle, I dumped two scoops of curry on each plate. “You just never know. Max has been moving fast. That’s bound to be the next step.”

“Could we not talk about this subject?” Jenna asked softly. She looked so drained.

“What’s wrong?”

“Could you bring the water?” she requested, ignoring my question as she headed to the dining table.

Already seated, she had a slight smile on her face and she looked ready to eat. “Nothing’s wrong, Becky. I just don’t see the point of discussing something that won’t happen in the near future.”

After I put the glasses of water down, I sat down and took a bite. Studying Jenna from across the table, she looked agitated. “Come on, Jenna, something is up. I can see it in your face. Did you and Max have a fight?”

Jenna took a sip of water, closed her eyes, and then peered up at me. “No, honestly, we didn’t have a fight,” she shook her head.

“Jenna, I’m like your other half, though recently my spot has been taken over by Max.” I got a small smile out of her. “I know when something is bothering you, even when you think you’re fine.”

With one elbow on the table, she let out a soft sigh and looked over at me as if to gather her thoughts. After she swallowed some more curry, she started letting go of her worries.

She told me about Luke’s latest text, an incident with some women at work, and even how she was worried she might not be good enough, sexually, for Max.

“I think you’re overthinking. You’re letting Luke, and some conversation that happened in the break room get to your head.”

Jenna nodded, trying to convince herself that I was right. “I know, I know. I feel awful for thinking this, but I have a bad feeling that Max is keeping something from me.”

“From what I can see, whatever Max does, he does in your best interest. I don’t think he’s hiding anything from you, but rather protecting you…if what you’re imagining could be true.”

Twirling her spoon around, she looked like she was a world away. “Earth to Jenna…Jenna…Jenna!” My tone got louder every time I called her name. She looked up, finally coming out of her daze.

“Do guys like to experiment? I mean…you know…like play with sex toys or role play?” Jenna’s cheeks flushed when she asked me that question.

We rarely talked about sex, since she was uncomfortable with it, so hearing this question came off as a surprise. “To tell you the truth, most of the guys I’ve slept with were selfish in bed. However, I did have a long term relationship with this one guy and we played around with some toys.”