Chapter 22

Sunday was the slowest day of my life. Whatever I was doing, my eyes were glued to my phone in hopes that Max would call or text back, but he didn’t. Luke called me several times, but I ignored him. A part of me blamed him for what had happened, but I didn’t want to think of him, so I brushed the thought of him out of my mind. But every time I thought about that awful, unwanted kiss and the “what if’s”, I saw Max’s expression and it killed me.

Becky left a note, letting me know she would be back before dinner. She had gone out to run some errands since she would be going to San Francisco for a literature convention. Having alone time, I sat on the sofa with the cell phone on my lap, just staring. That felt pathetic. I looked pathetic. Being that tomorrow was Monday and I needed to be at work, I had to snap out of it. Needing to hear a comforting voice besides my friends, I called my mom on her cell phone.

“Jenna?”

“Hi, Mom.” I tried to sound cheerful, but instead my lips quivered. I had to hold it together or I’d start sobbing on the phone. Mom would worry, then I would have to talk about my love life, which I wasn’t comfortable doing.

“How are you, sweetie? It’s good to hear your voice.”

Pausing, I took a deep breath. “It’s good to hear your voice too.” I’ve been better, I wanted to tell her, but that would sound suspicious, so I lied. “I’m great, just busy with my new job. How’s Dad and…anything new?”

“Just the same old thing. Will you have a chance to visit?”

“Christmas for sure, Mom. I’ll be there.”

“Fantastic. I’ll tell Dad. I can’t wait.”

“Me, too.” I paused for a second, pondering if I should ask her this question, but I needed to know. “Hey, Mom?” My voice sounded like I was a child again.

“What is it, hun? Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine…I was just wondering. Did you love Dad when you first met him? I mean…how did you know he was the one?”

“I can’t explain it. I just knew. I knew that I couldn’t live without him. So when that time comes, make sure to pick the one you can’t live without. The one that makes you levitate off the floor and never lets you touch the ground. The one that loves you so much, he’ll put you first, above anything else. The one that will love you on the sunny days, but he’ll love you most of all through the heavy, thunderous storms. Let him pamper you, shelter you, and romance you till he’s given his all. And in return, love hard and give back everything you’ve got. You deserve all the happiness, Jenna. Don’t settle for anything less.”

“Okay.” I nodded, though she couldn’t see me. As a tear escaped down my cheek, I quickly wiped it away. I thought about how her words were enduring and took them to heart, glad that I’d asked her. It made me re-evaluate the men in my life.

“Oh…before I forget, I want to let you know that Dad and I will be on a cruise for the first two weeks of December. We’re doing the fourteen day European cruise.”

“That’s great. That’s like in three weeks. It sounds fun,” I said cheerfully.

“I hope we don’t get seasick.”

“You’ll be fine, Mom. Have a great time. I’ll talk to you again before the trip. Well…I better go. I’ll call you soon.”

“Okay sweetie. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“And Mom…thank you,” I said sincerely, needing to hear all her words of comfort, though she had no idea what was going on.

“Anytime. That’s what mothers are for.”

After the phone conversation, I felt somewhat better, so I did my laundry, cleaned the house, and took care of bills. Somehow I had to find strength, because one way or another, I had to go to work, and I would run into Max, unless he found a way to avoid me.

**

Dragging myself out of bed, I didn’t know how I got to work. Everything about the place seemed too big and too cold. Trying to act like there was nothing wrong, I smiled as often as I could. This only confirmed that I had been right all along…never get into relationships with people you work with, especially your boss’s son.

I checked my emails—it seemed like every minute—but there were still no emails, texts, or phone calls from Max. Curiosity got the best of me, so I tiptoed down the hall to his office. It seemed very obsessive of me, but I needed to at least explain to him what had happened, because the thought of him hating me produced acid in my stomach. Even if he didn’t want to work things out, I would be okay with it, as long as he knew the truth.

Seeing his secretary, I walked up to her. “Hi…umm…I was wondering if Mr. Knight was in his office?”

“Ms. Mefferd, he’s not in today.”

I knew I should stop asking questions, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t know if I felt disappointed or relieved that I didn’t have to face him. For some reason, the dagger in my heart cut in deeper. “Do you know if he’ll be in today or tomorrow?”

“I’m not sure. He’s usually in the office by now, but I know he has several meetings out of the office this morning. Would you like for me to leave a message for you?”

“No,” I said quickly, then I thought, Why not? “I mean…sure. Can you please tell him I need to talk to him, and that it’s urgent?”

“Sure.” She started to scribble words on her pad.