“I’m letting Mandy know that you’re mine.” Max nibbled my ear.

“His name is Andy...Andy,” I stressed. Max had a habit of making up names. Laughing to myself, I played into his game. “You’re just jealous because he gets to walk me down the aisle first.”

Max snarled. Thank goodness everyone was holding small conversations, so hopefully no one heard, but I knew Becky did when she flashed her eyes to Max. “Mandy, Sandy, I don’t care what his name is. I don’t like the way he looks at you, and I don’t like the way he smiles at you. And you’re right. I don’t like the thought of anyone walking you down the aisle besides me.” Max leaned forward, smiling, pretending our conversation didn’t take place.

“He’s just being nice.”

“He better be nice to you, but not in a way I wouldn’t like.” Max guided my left hand out across the table, letting my engagement ring shine against the candlelight, making sure Andy got a clear sight of it. Little did Max know that Andy had already seen my engagement ring during the wedding rehearsal, but I didn’t stop him.

I loved how Max was being jealous. I was the one who was observant of how women gawked at him, but Max seemed to never notice…either that or it didn’t faze him. He didn’t care. Seeing how he acted around other women when they tried to get his attention only confirmed that I could trust in his love for me, that it was genuine. I was the lucky one, the one who was carrying his child. I couldn’t be happier.

Matthew

As I washed up to get ready for bed, I looked up from the sink to see a tired face in the mirror. What happened? Becca and I were so happy one minute, and the next thing I knew, we were apart. I couldn’t believe I was at this low point again. This only confirmed how much Becca meant to me. How much I’d fallen in love with her in such a short period of time.

Becca still would not take my calls or texts, nor would she open the door when I came by her apartment. When I used the spare key to enter, the other lock was set and I couldn’t get in. I’d made a big mistake when I left her. Knowing Becca, she had taken it the wrong way, but in that heated moment, I was not thinking clearly.

At first I thought I should give her space, but that was not what she needed. What she needed was for me to comfort her, to make her feel less guilty, to let her know that I still loved her. Now, it seemed as though she didn’t want anything to do with me.

It was Nicole’s wedding rehearsal and there was still no call from Becca to remind me to be there. Even when I texted her asking about the location, she didn’t respond. This confirmed that Becca didn’t want me in her life, and that hurt me more than anything. I’d hurt her big time, and I had no idea how to fix this. I also knew that guilt was eating at her. She was most likely thinking that she’d killed Tessa, and that she and I shouldn’t be together.

Recalling that day, I should have gone back to her place and patched things up, but when I met up with Teresa, she gave me the shock of my life. Then I’d needed a couple of more days to myself; a little more time to grieve...a little bit more time to let go and heal so that I could give Becca all of me again.

“Matthew, I have to tell you something,” Teresa said.

I snapped out of my thoughts of Becca and focused my eyes on Tessa’s gravestone. I didn’t say a word; instead, I waited for her to continue.

“Tessa didn’t want to tell you. You were both so young, and she knew you didn’t...the reason why she insisted that you got married so quickly …” Teresa let out a heavy sigh. “I promised I wouldn’t say a word. She was supposed to tell you the day she was in the accident. I’m not telling you to make you feel guilty. I know how much you loved her.”

My heart skipped a beat and my blood pressure shot up. I had this gut feeling I knew where this conversation was headed, but I didn’t say a word. Hoping that I was wrong, I let her finish. Oh God! Please let me be wrong!

“I debated for a long time if I should tell you, and I didn’t tell you earlier because I didn’t want you to have more guilt, but I can’t do this anymore. It’s eating at me, but I think you can handle the news I’m about to tell you. You have the right to know. Tessa was pregnant. It was the reason why she wanted to have the wedding a lot earlier. I’m so sorry, Matthew. She’s gone and there’s nothing you can do. I want you to live your life and find someone who was meant for you.”

Our conversation took me back, and now it seemed clear why Tessa was in a hurry to get married. We were so young. I knew for sure I wouldn’t have been ready to be a father back then, but that wasn’t the point. I felt like I’d not only lost Tessa, but my child as well. It hurt like hell. I felt robbed, jaded by this girl I’d hated for the past several years. And not only that, she turned out to be Becca’s friend. What the f**k?

I wondered what my life would have been like with Tessa. We would have had a daughter or a son; our child would have been about the age of two. However, that was then and this was now. No way was I going to let Amber get in the way of my happiness again. This time, I was going to take ownership of my destiny.

Enough was enough. I’d given Becca space; now it was time for me to take charge. We had a huge bump in the road, but it was time to get back on track. If we couldn’t get through this, then we wouldn’t be able to get through what life threw at us, and I was sure there would be plenty of other bumps ahead. I loved Becca, and she needed to know. How to get her to see me was the question. I didn’t want to get Jenna involved, but I was desperate. Just as I was about to text Jenna, there was a knock at the door.