The scent of Vanni was different from before but it was the products she’d used when she’d showered. He made a mental note to ask her later what kind of things she bought and to obtain them for her. It was low in priority though. He needed to figure out how to get her to let her guard down and let him in.

His gaze dropped to her lap and he muffled a groan. He wanted in, all right. He wanted to push up her shirt and spread her thighs. His dick hardened just thinking about how incredible it would feel to claim her again. One look into her eyes, though, assured him she wasn’t ready to share sex. He’d have to go very slowly and figure out how to deal with Vanni. Just offering to share sex wasn’t an option. He’d have to work up to it.

It was important that Vanni trust him. The little he knew of human females assured him that was the only way he’d be allowed to stay with her. He didn’t want to leave. It would drive him insane if he had to stalk around his apartment while she was at Homeland. Wager and other males aren’t going to take my female. He inwardly winced at thinking of her that way but it was the truth. She was his.

He suddenly felt even more sympathy for the males who’d fallen for humans. It had seemed simple in theory to persuade one of them to allow a male into her bed and heart. The reality of it was anything but easy. Everything he knew about human dating rituals wouldn’t apply at Homeland. He refused to take her out to dinner at the bar. He’d have to punch other males when they attempted to gain her attention. The show of violence might leave her with the impression that he was a vicious male.

Vanni finally spoke and it was only then that he realized the silence had stretched between them again. “How could you say that?”

He struggled to remember what he’d said. She reminded him.

“How did I save us?”

“The drug I was given, if it is a full dose is…” He didn’t want to horrify her but he wouldn’t lie. “I would have been too mindless with a driving need for sex to care if I hurt you or how bad. At full dose the breeding drug Mercile created to use on us causes brutal sexual behavior and total memory loss. You alerted me to your symptoms instead of hiding them. Luckily I didn’t finish my drink. That could have been tragic.”

“I got a lot of the drug and I remember it all.”

“The drug you were given was a milder version. We’d heard from an employee who worked there that a research facility associated with Mercile Industries had tested the new version. She stated they were creating it to use on human females. We believe the Woods Church must have obtained it from them.”

“Gregory said he bought it from someone but he didn’t mention a name. He called the drug B-47.”

“Our task force is interviewing everyone from that facility to see who sold it to the church.”

“We were guinea pigs for some untested drug then?”

“We used the term lab rat when we were the subjects of Mercile’s testing. Full dosage of the breeding drug they used on us would kill a human. It makes me furious knowing what could have happened to you. I talked to the doctor after I returned to Homeland. You could have suffered heart failure or seizures that might have resulted in your death.”

It made him icy cold inside just imagining her lifeless body. He wanted to go to Fuller Prison himself and interrogate everyone from Drackwood. They needed proof though, before they took on the Woods Church. Otherwise Pastor Gregory Woods would accuse the NSO of targeting them because of their outspoken views against New Species. It was a publicity nightmare they didn’t need.

He stared into her eyes and hated to see the pain there. She’d been dragged into his world but he wasn’t sorry she was there. He wouldn’t have met her if they hadn’t been targeted. He could regret the circumstances but never the outcome. Vanni was just inches away from him, right where he wanted her to be.

Chapter Thirteen

Vanni let it all sink in. Smiley had lived a hellish life. She’d only been drugged once but he’d survived countless episodes that were far worse than what she’d experienced. He’d helped her through the worst of it but he’d been alone at Mercile Industries. She suddenly had sympathy like never before for New Species.

“Are you sure I didn’t harm you during sex, Vanni?” His voice softened. “You could tell me if I did.”

She looked away, unable to stand seeing the pained look in his eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about this.”

He softly cursed. “I did hurt you. I’m so sorry.”

Smiley sounded tormented and it made her feel guilty. He deserved total candor, even if it made her squirm. She looked at him and reached out to place her hand on his arm. The skin-to-skin contact helped her feel connected to him.

“I get embarrassed. That’s why I don’t want to talk about this. The only person I gave any details to about that night was my best friend. She’s the only one I’m comfortable discussing sex with. I was a little tender the next morning but it wasn’t because you did anything wrong. I’m fine now.”

“I was too rough.” He winced. “I understand. Thank you for sharing the truth with me. You were so tight that I feared I’d tear you a little. You should have one of our doctors look at you, Vanni.”

His bluntness startled her but she recovered quickly. “You’re very open about things, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “My people believe in total honesty.”

She swallowed and took a deep breath. Her cheeks were probably burning but she was willing to risk a bit of discomfort for Smiley.