There is no detouring him on this. He’s deadset and not changing his mind. I don’t have to take her, but he definitely has guilted me into it. I don’t want her by herself, and if Storm and ZZ are going to Mace Jr.’s adoptive parents without her, I’m not leaving her here with the stress of Winter’s pregnancy and all the other bullshit. I’ll figure a way to sway her away from all the bad shit.

“I trust you with my daughter’s life, Shadow. You wanted to be with her, so be with her,” he says in a tired voice.

I do want to be with her, but at what cost? Her accidentally getting caught in the crossfire? Is my wanting to be with her worth that? I’ll have to watch her back, my own, and help Danick at the same time, but it sounds like ZZ needs me to do this as bad as Danick needs my help.

ZZ is tired. Everyone is over it all. The bloodshed, the wars over drugs, business takeovers, and top that off with Winter’s stressful pregnancy and Mace Jr.’s death. The entire club is depressed and morale is down a significant amount.

“I’ll take her with me. We’ll leave first thing in the morning, so you need to go tell her bye.”

ZZ doesn’t wait for me to say anything else. He takes off inside without another word. I’ve never prayed a day in my life, but I think I’m going to start. I don’t think our club can handle any more loss.

***

Tatiana

Last night, when my dad told me that I was leaving with Shadow, I don’t know what was going through my head. Dad warned me that I was heading towards shit I’ve never been around my entire life. The Italian mob. They’re ruthless, cunning, and devious, he said.

For my own father to let me leave with Shadow is not something I would have expected after losing my brother, but knowing my father, this is to show me that my life is easier than others. He always has a plan behind his motives, and I am not naïve enough to think there isn’t a motive behind this.

Mine and Shadow’s relationship is brand new, and we’re heading straight into more shit? Nothing like starting something and putting it to the test quite like this way. It’ll definitely test our connection.

When Shadow said that we were heading to New Orleans, I was excited until his eyes turned cold on me. He laid it out to me after my dad left my room.

“This isn’t a joke. You think Jamaica is heavy with crime! It ain’t shit compared to going up against the American Mafia, aka the Italian Mafia. I’m still pissed ZZ wants me to take you with me. The only fuckin’ reason you are goin with me is because I ain’t about to leave you here by yourself, and to show you that your cold, callused new you is a bunch of bullshit.”

It hurt, not going to lie, but he spoke part of the truth. If my own father thinks this is what it will take to show me the harsh world, so be it. I’m done arguing. I don’t necessarily want this to be how Shadow and I start whatever it is that we’re starting, but nothing is ever ordinary in our world.

So here it is the next morning, and I’m saying goodbye to our family to take a life lesson trip. That is what I’ve called it since last night. It seems suitable for this situation.

“Listen to his every word, baby girl,” my dad whispers into my ear as he hugs me goodbye. “I love you, kiddo.”

I squeeze him back and say that I love him, too.

When our goodbyes are over, my dad opens my car door, helps me get in, and shuts it behind me. Shadow climbs in and tells me to buckle up as he starts the Rover and we drive off towards New Orleans.