Shadow Rider Page 163
He had to make her understand. “The riders are important to the family, Francesca. Our training, training the children, it is necessary for us to continue. It’s difficult but very rewarding. But . . .” He trailed off.
“Tell me.”
He could because it was Francesca. His woman. She seemed to understand everything he needed or wanted. “I will train our children and they’ll go to other trusted trainers, but Francesca, if this life isn’t for them, I don’t want them not to have a choice. I don’t want arranged, loveless marriages for them. I’ll teach you to shadow ride because I want you safe, but I never want you to do the work or see the violence. I don’t want it touching you. I need you to understand that. It isn’t because I don’t want to share power with you. It’s because . . .”
She rolled over, sprawling over his body, her hands framing his face. “You don’t have to explain. I know you want me home, to balance out the training. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I want to come home to clean. To something wonderful and warm. To love. I want that for my children. I need that.”
“I know you do,” she murmured, and pressed a kiss into his throat.
“You have to know there are consequences to being with me, Francesca. I wasn’t exaggerating when I warned you what kind of man I am. I expect to lead. I expect you to follow. I’ll give you everything I can. I want you happy. But I need you safe. That’s something in me I can’t change. There will be a lot of demands. That you let me know where you are every minute. That has nothing to do with trust, and everything to do with my issue to know you’re safe.”
“I know that about you, Stefano.”
He took a breath. He had to let her know everything. He had to know if she could live with the real consequences of being married to a shadow rider. “That’s nowhere near the worst.” He took a breath. Framed her face to look into her eyes. “The truth is, Francesca, once we’re married and our shadows are completely merged, if things didn’t work out and we divorced, the shadows would tear apart and there isn’t any repairing them. I would lose my ability to ride the shadows. That’s what my mother was talking about tonight. You would lose all memory of me, our life and even our children together. You wouldn’t remember anything to do with shadow riding. You wouldn’t suffer, because you’d have no memory of it, but you would lose your children. That’s why it’s important to know for certain before we’re married, that this life is for you.”
He felt her sudden stillness. The swift inhale. She started to roll off of him, her first retreat. He didn’t allow it, his arms locking her to him. “Don’t, bambina, don’t leave me. Just listen. Hear the truth in my voice. I love you with everything in me. There will never be a time that I won’t. I’m incapable of cheating on you. I’m too loyal, and I know you have that in you as well. We’ll work things out. I know I’m difficult, but I swear, with every breath in my body, Francesca, I’ll work at our marriage.”
“It’s a huge price, Stefano, if something goes wrong.”
“I know that. I know what you’re risking. It seems I have less to lose, but it isn’t so. I would be half a man without you, and I wouldn’t know who I was without the ability to ride. Marry me, be my wife. Be my partner. Take the risk with me. I need you in a way I’ve never needed anything or anyone.” He was giving himself up to her. He’d never felt more vulnerable. Never felt more terrified. “Every fucking word I said to you is the truth.”
She brushed her mouth across his. Looked into his eyes, searching for something. She must have found it because she nodded. It was slow in coming, but in the end, she did nod her acceptance. “Yes. The answer is still yes.”
* * *
Stefano woke Francesca three hours after he fell asleep and he made love to her. Gently. As gently as possible for him. He made certain she was gasping and ready before he took her, driving her up again and again, giving her three orgasms before he emptied himself in her. He fell back asleep to the sound of her taking a bath. The woman loved the fucking bathtub.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Stefano woke with the dawn creeping into the bedroom and urgent need clawing at his belly. His cock was hard and thick, desperate to be inside Francesca’s warm, wet channel. Francesca’s long hair moved in a sensual slide over his thighs and belly, so much silk, building a wild urgency as her mouth moved between his legs. Up his thighs, spreading kisses and little bites right up to his aching balls. She licked his sac and his cock jerked hard. Her fingers found him, rolling and caressing his tight balls even as her tongue slowly bathed them in warmth. She made little moaning sounds that added to the dark fantasy.