“That’s why I love the mountains. I feel closer to God. When I came to the mountains, He gave me parents who loved me. He gave me Beth and He gave me you, Shade. My husband.

“Do you know why I didn’t want to have sex with my husband before I married? Because I wanted it to be clean and new, because I’m dirty, unclean—”

“Don’t you ever fucking say that again!” Shade’s foot came up on the first step.

“It’s the truth, Shade. I’ve slept with more men than any woman in that house, and you deserve to know that. I can’t give you my virginity; I lost it long ago and everything else from that life that I forgot until Halloween night.”

“I wish you had never remembered.” Shade’s quiet voice didn’t hide the anguish in his voice.

“I don’t. It was destroying me, Shade.”

“There was nothing worth remembering.” His harsh words had her straightening from the pole.

“Oh, yes, there was. There were three little girls who were like sisters. When my mother would finally crash and sleep, she would take me to a babysitter. I know my mom didn’t pay her; she spent all her money on anything other than me. I was raised with two beautiful little girls. They loved me enough to see that I had food to eat, that I had toys to play with, that I had a normal touch. They would hold my hand constantly when we went out. They were constantly afraid they would lose me. We would sit on the playground and pretend that we would run away when we grew old enough. Vida was sweet and sensitive. She loved animals. She wanted to live on a farm. Sawyer was more adventurous. She wanted to have fun. She chose Disneyland, and I wanted to see the Northern Lights.”

“That was why you wanted to go to Alaska.” Shade’s soft voice drew her attention from the past.

“I had the furthest to run,” she said softly. “That night we were looking through those books must have triggered a memory. My mind was trying to remind me of my past. A past that I don’t belong to any more than I belong here.”

She stood straight, standing on the top step, looking down at him. “You thought I was a young, innocent woman, that I’ve never touched alcohol. You don’t know that I was sold for pocket change. I’ve done things that make me sick. How can I belong anywhere when I know how disgusting I am?”

“Lily, look at that house behind you. I built that house for you—every room, this porch, these steps, for you, for us and the children we will have.” His passion-filled voice showed strength enough to help her bear the burden of her past.

“I love you. When I say it, I don’t say it lightly. I say it because when I look at you, I see an angel who God let slip through his fingers to leave behind just for me.

“Lily, you belong. You belong to me. You will always belong to me.” Shade walked up the steps, sweeping her up into his arms. “Always.”

He took her to the front door of their house, carrying her inside and slamming the door behind them. Reaching beside the door, he balanced her while he flipped on the lights.

Lily stared around the living room filled with furniture. “When did you do this?” she asked, seeing the furniture they had just picked out the day before.

“While you were in church tonight. The brothers and I busted our balls getting this done while you were gone.”

“How did you get the furniture delivered so fast?” She was amazed at how well they had done, matching the house with the furniture.

“I threatened Leonard, but I also gave him a big tip,” Shade said ruefully.

“We did good,” Lily said, trying to wiggle down so she could look closer at her kitchen. “Let me down; I want to see the kitchen,” Lily said, exasperated.

“Later. I’m going to show you the bedroom first.” His wicked grin melted her heart.

Shade packed her upstairs to the bedroom where the door was already open. Shade carried her through, setting her down in their new bedroom. All of his bedroom furniture had been moved inside and there were candles set in various places throughout the room, giving it a soft glow. The bed was made up with the covers pulled down. On the bed was the present she had bought Shade yesterday.

“Beth made me promise to have it on the bed waiting for you.”

“What time is it?” Lily asked.

“Eleven-thirty.”

“That’s close enough. I think it’s time I gave you your Christmas present.”

Lily went to the bed, picking the package up, and then headed toward the bathroom.

“Wait. I thought you were going to let me open it?”

“I will. Give me ten minutes.” Lily disappeared into the bathroom.

This bathroom was even better than the one in the basement, if that was possible. Instead of one rain showerhead, it had two, and the bench was longer and wider with a black marble that she could see her reflection in. She showered and blow-dried her hair before she opened the package, taking the contents out. Getting dressed took only a few minutes. She nervously looked at herself in the mirror, took a deep breath for courage, and opened the bathroom door.

Shade was already lying on the bed waiting for her. His different-colored tats were highlighted in the candlelight.

“That is the best present I’ve ever had. Come here and let me open it.” His intense blue eyes didn’t lift from the gift she had bought.

Lily slid into the bed next to him, self-conscious that he was naked.

“Come here.” Shade put his hand behind her neck, drawing her closer to him. The white lace corset she was wearing had no straps, hugging her breasts in sweetheart cups that pushed her full breasts up and showed how tiny her waist was in comparison to her flared hips. The lace ended just above the tiny white lace panties.

His mouth went to her breasts, grazing against the top.

“I don’t get a kiss?” Shade lifted his head, his lips giving her a brief, hard kiss before returning to her breasts.

Lily burst out laughing, her fear and nervousness disappearing. “You can’t do better than that?” she teased.

“Angel, these breasts are… I’m trying to think of a word that’s good enough to describe them.” His hand went to the tiny hooks that went down the lace corset, unfastening them. When he’d finished, he spread the corset apart. “Fucking magnificent.” His hand pushed one globe up, finding the tip with his lips. He sucked just the tip of the nipple into his mouth before releasing it. His hand then went to the other breast, grasping it before he lowered his mouth to the tip, sucking it into his mouth then releasing it. “Fucking gorgeous.”

“I take it you’re a breast man.”

“All men are breast men,” he replied, looking at her breasts in awe.

Lily lay down on the bed, stretching before her arms reached out to him. Shade bent down, his mouth covering hers, giving her the kiss she’d desired. She needed that kiss from him to show her it was Shade and no one else in their wedding bed; the nightmares of her past weren’t present now.

He parted her lips with his tongue, seducing her with the wildness of his taste and the gentle glide of his against her own. His mouth then went to her neck, exploring her flesh with tiny flicks of his tongue while his hand slid up her thigh, gliding straight to her pussy, finding her nub and rubbing it with strokes that were already close to making her climax.