“I’m going to miss Cruise. He was a crazy son of a bitch, but whenever anyone wanted to party, he was always up for it,” Rider stated morosely.

“That wasn’t the only thing he was always up for,” Jewell wise-cracked in a tearful voice.

That set the whole room off as they began talking about their memories of the men.

Shade watched as Lily carefully applied the Band-Aid to Lucky’s scratch.

“That’s enough, Lily. Come here. It’s just a fucking scratch.”

Lily threw him an impatient look as she moved away from Lucky. “I think it might need stitches.” She turned her back to Lucky, facing Shade with her hands on her hips.

“Which you can’t do, so there’s no need with you fussing over it.”

Lucky flipped him off and Shade’s jaw tightened as he snaked a hand around her waist, pulling her down onto his lap. Shade flipped him back off with the hand behind Lily’s back.

“Where’s Cash?” Shade asked, changing the subject.

“He was going to make a stop in Jamestown then head back,” Viper answered, placing an arm around Winter’s shoulders. “I’ll ride back to Ohio with the brothers and handle the funeral arrangements, so I’ll be gone a few days. Lucky, you’ll be in charge while I’m gone. The rest of you can come the day of the funeral, and I’ll ride back with you.”

He and Lily stayed at the clubhouse until late. When they went home, Lily showered first. After Shade took his, he lay down on the bed and she rolled over to him, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him close.

“Is it awful of me that I’m glad you weren’t there?” she whispered.

“No.” His hand went to her ass, massaging the firm flesh. “You think it’s awful I wish I was?” he whispered back.

Lily placed gentle kisses against his throat. “No. You wanted to protect the men you lost, and you weren’t there, so you wouldn’t be you if you didn’t feel bad about it.”

Shade shook his head in the dark, rising up on an elbow. “Lily … I don’t…”

“You don’t what?” Lily stared up at him with the same look she had since the day she had married him—complete trust.

“Nothing. Night, angel.” He turned the light out, lying back down.

“Good night, Shade.”

* * *

He stood in the doorway of the church, watching Cash put on the performance of a lifetime.

“Seems to me it would have been a lot simpler to propose,” Train said.

“Must have been worried about getting a yes,” Shade stated as Lucky performed the wedding ceremony between Rachel and Cash.

“Another brother bites the dust. There must be something in the water,” Train joked, but Shade heard the envy in his voice.

He was aware that Cash had let him join in with him and Rachel a couple of times.

He might live with Lily in a separate house, but that didn’t mean he didn’t do his job by seeing to the members’ safety. He was fucking ecstatic that he didn’t have to follow Rachel home anymore to make sure she arrived safely when she snuck out of Cash’s bed every morning. Shade supposed he could have called and told Cash she was leaving, but the brother had always appreciated things more when he had to work for them. He hadn’t given a shit about his promotion in the military until it had been denied. Then he had worked his ass off, pulling extra duty until he had been promoted a year later. He didn’t slack off once he had the promotion, either. Rachel was a smart woman, and she would keep Cash on his toes.

Train was different than any of the other brothers. They all loved pussy and lots of it, but Train more than any of them. The difference was the man wanted a wife and kids. He wanted to settle down. He just hadn’t met the woman yet who could give him what he wanted. The brother was fucking eye-candy to women, like that fucking Conner whose ass he had sent back to Texas. Most women wanted Train for his dick, not seeing the tortured soul underneath.

“Enjoy yourself while you can. Once you put a ring on their finger, your life’s never the same again,” Shade told him.

Train looked at him sharply. “You regretting getting married already?”

Shade saw Lily crying as Cash slid the ring onto Rachel’s finger.

“I’ll never regret marrying Lily. It was the best moment of my life. If it lasts fifty years, it won’t be enough time with her.” Shade was aware he was opening himself to the brother, but he was also aware of the load he was carrying. “It’s like cutting your soul in half. You can either give it up voluntarily or fight it all the way.”

“Which was Cash?” Train said, nodding toward the happy couple kissing to the cheers of the church congregation.

“He fought it long and hard.”

“How about you?” Amusement filled Train’s face.

“Me?” Shade slapped Train on the back, pushing him forward to congratulate the newly married couple. “Hell, I was easy. I gave it up without her having to ask for it.”

Shade stood in the shadows, remembering his words to Train two days before as Brooke turned the bedroom light off.

Viper and the others had returned from the funeral a few hours ago. He had remained behind with Lily, Winter, Beth, and Diamond. Knox had made Diamond stay at the clubhouse while he was out of town.

As soon as the brothers had returned, he had gone to talk to Evie before coming over. The Freedom Riders were taken care of, and it was Brooke’s turn. All he needed was the opportunity.

Brooke was going to Georgia the following week. She had told Rachel when Rachel had requested that Pastor Merrick find someone who could help out in the store for a couple of days so she and Cash could have a short honeymoon. Lily wanted to, but he had put his foot down. There was no way she was stepping foot back in the church store until Brooke was no longer a threat.

With her due in two weeks, it barely gave him enough time to do what he needed. Brooke would be leaving for Georgia, but she wouldn’t be coming back.

Chapter 90

“What’s the rush?” Viper asked when he saw Shade come out of the factory in a hurry.

“I left Lily at the obstetrician’s office when her appointment was delayed because the doctor was delivering a baby, so I’m going back to pick her up. If we didn’t have that special order to get out, I would have waited with her.”

“I’ll see you later then.”

Shade nodded, getting inside the truck and driving toward town. He had texted Lily that he was on the way before he had left the factory.

He drove the truck to the front of the doctor’s office and was about to get out of the truck when Lily came rushing out, practically jumping inside the truck, which wasn’t an easy accomplishment at her late stage of pregnancy.

“What’s the hurry? You in labor?” Shade asked, noticing her pale cheeks and frightened eyes.

“No.” She remained quiet after that, staring out the window.

Shade put the truck in gear then drove back toward the clubhouse, shooting her several glances along the way. She was being uncharacteristically quiet, and her fingers were trembling.

When he pulled up in front of the clubhouse, she climbed out without waiting for him before going up the pathway as if she was trying to outrun him.