“I think it could be amazing. In keeping in line with these ideas and the mission of your charity, what if the theme was Our Fading Blue? With an emphasis on rising sea levels and melting icecaps,” I suggested. I pulled a pencil out of my purse and started drawing over top the printout.

“The color scheme would be blues and whites and silvers. Lights and crystals hanging from the ceiling. Winter flowers in tasteful vases with prisms throwing rainbows on the tables and walls. Something like this.” I doodled some rough ideas and showed them to him.

Theo pondered over it for a minute before his lips turned upward into a pleased smile. “This is perfect. These ideas are incredible! Do you think this can be pulled off?” he asked and I gave him my best bitch, please look.

“If there’s one thing I know how to do, Theo, it’s throw a damn good party,” I told him.

“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” he said, his smile never wavering and my stomach flipped over.

It was on the tip of my tongue to say “Damn straight,” in order to lighten the moment. To give it levity so it didn’t have the power to make me feel all bubbly inside. But the sincerity in his eyes gave me pause.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had been assessed with such blatant appreciation, not only for my face and my body, but also for my mind.

Certainly Cole had never cared much for my ideas and thoughts. He was too busy chasing me around with his penis.

Even with his recent interest in things outside of our rampant sex life, he had never looked at me like that.

Like I was incredible.

Like I was capable.

Like I held the answers to every question he could ever possibly ask.

And I realized that no matter how nice it was Theo wasn’t the man I wanted to look at me that way.

Another example of the Cole Brandt vag block.

“Thanks,” I said, with a lot more modesty that was normal for me.

“Vivian Baily,” a nurse finally called out.

I gathered my purse and jacket and got to my feet. “Thanks for waiting with me Theo, I’ll give you a call when I get back to the office and we can set up a time to go over some more details,” I said.

Theo got to his feet as well. “I’m not going anywhere, Vivian. I’ll be here when you’re done. You’ll need a ride back to work won’t you?” he asked and shook his head before I could argue with him.

I wasn’t used to Prince Charmings saving my day. It would have been awesome.

Except I was all too aware that Prince Charming wasn’t my style.

I preferred the bad guy, which would only end up destroying me in the end.

Because that’s how those stories tended to end up.

With the damsel in distress tied to the train track.

7

“You broke your nose?” I asked, stretching my legs out in my bunk. We were back on the road after our show in Detroit. We were heading to Cincinnati next. And then next week we’d be on the east coast again. I couldn’t wait to be closer to home. Even though we didn’t have any gigs slated for Virginia for several months.

“Am I gonna have to brown bag you the next time we f**k?” I asked crudely. I know you’re probably thinking I was being an ass**le. That I deserved a kick to the dick for such a rude comment. But I could say shit like that to Viv because she wouldn’t take it seriously. She knew I didn’t mean it. It was how we rolled.

Or maybe not.

“That’s a really messed up thing to say, Cole,” she said quietly and I instantly felt like a jerk.

“I didn’t mean it, baby. You know I think you’re beautiful. Junked up nose or not,” I promised.

“You are such a f**k face,” Vivian said with venom. I thought I’d been pretty nice. What was her problem?

“And I didn’t break it. It’s just bruised. A little swollen. No brown bag necessary.” She sounded pissed, which wasn’t new. And normally I’d goad her a little, just to get the explosion I liked so much. But something felt off about her.

And call it an ingrained survival instinct, but I thought better than to pour more fuel on a smoldering fire right now.

“Does it hurt?” I asked, trying to smooth things over.

Shit with Vivian had gotten complicated lately. Or maybe it was just me. I was a f**king mess.

Things with the band weren’t the greatest. The radio interview had been a disaster. Jose had been right, Molly, the DJ, had been more interested in whether I had a girlfriend, than the tour we were on. And after we were done, she offered to take me into the break room so she could suck my cock.

I didn’t take her up on it, just so we’re all straight. I hadn’t even been tempted. There was something really unappealing about a girl with a Miss Piggy tattoo on her neck who offered to let you spooge on her back. So I had respectfully declined.

While we waited in the lobby for Jose, Jordan had turned on me. He claimed I had hogged the interview time. Was he not in the same room as I had been in? How could he miss Molly’s blatant come-ons? I couldn’t be the only one who had caught the innuendo behind the question: “Do you like it in the dark or with the lights on? Performing that is.”

“You think you’re the f**king star of the show, Cole! You need a reality check! This is a band! There are four of us! We’re all equal here! If you can’t remember that then maybe I need to remind you,” Jordan had snarled and I felt myself getting pissed.

“I can’t help it if she was more interested in my c**k then our music! Why the f**k is that my fault?” I had yelled.