Say You'll Stay Page 25
“It won’t be that bad.” I explain to her. “I leave this week, and I’ll find us a great house. You can come as soon as you finish this semester. I promise, it’ll be fine.” Maybe I can convince her this isn’t going to be that rough.
She doesn’t say a word. Her eyes fill with tears, and I’m no longer happy. “I can’t go with you now . . . I’m not leaving school, Zach. You . . .” She starts, but then she turns. “I can’t believe you didn’t talk to me.”
“Pres.” I try to get her to look at me. “I know it’ll be hard, but we can make it work.”
“I’m in the first semester of my freshman year. I can’t quit. I’m happy for you, but I don’t know.” She chews her lip for a second and then continues, “I’m hurt.”
I take her hand. “He told me if I didn’t sign now, I could lose the contract.”
“We’re supposed to be partners. How could you not talk to me?”
“I wanted to. But I figured you’d be fine with transferring schools and moving.”
Clearly, I was wrong.
“And then what if you get traded? What if in three weeks you get called up? We’ve been apart for so long. I can’t do this again.” Her voice hiccups in the middle.
“Yes, we can. We’ll still see each other, and you only have three years left of school. You can come out and live with me after that or transfer to California whenever you want.”
We’ll be fine, she just needs to calm down. Presley is my fiancée. She’s my world, and we’ll work through this.
“You want me to wait three years? You want me to sit here while you’re all over the country with these girls who are waitin’ for a chance to bang the ball player? No. No way. You can’t possibly think that’s fair. I have already waited two years just to get here.” There’s no anger in her words, just sadness.
“Then come with me.”
She shifts her books into her other arm and stares at me. “For me to sit alone in California while you travel the country? How is that going to work?”
“We’ll make it work.”
“Zach.” She sighs and wipes her face. “You don’t get it. I came to this school for you. I gave up my scholarship, moved, had to take out more loans so we could be together. I understand that this is your dream.” Her eyes water again. “But do my dreams not matter? I worked so hard to get in here. This culinary program is one of the best in the country. I can’t follow you wherever you go. That’s not fair. And I don’t have it in me to do long distance again so soon. The last two years were unbearable. If you leave, you’ll be focused on baseball, you aren’t going to have time for us. We both know you’ll be traveling most of the year. Not to mention all the girls that will be all over you. I’m sorry, I’m not ready to live through that.”
We had plans, but this doesn’t mean those can’t change. We made it through the two years she was still in high school. This will be easier. I can afford to fly her out and visit.
I’m not sure what she expects, but baseball is my life too. This is my chance, and I won’t walk away from it. We’ll figure out a way to make it work.
“Yes, but this is my dream, Presley. Right now I can play ball for a living. I can’t give it up. I won’t. I leave tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?” she practically yells. “You’re kidding me! Tomorrow, Zach?”
I nod.
“I guess we’re done then.” She chokes on the words.
“Done?” I yell. “The hell we are. We’re not breaking up over this. We’re engaged!”
The tears she fought back are now streaming down her face. I hate making her cry. I try to step forward but she puts her hand up.
“No, Zach. I can’t be away from you like this again. I almost went crazy back in Tennessee, but Wyatt, Grace, and Emily were there. Who do I have now? Angie is my only friend. I’m only here because you promised me we’d be together.” Her voice cracks. “We’re supposed to get married, start a family, and you didn’t even talk to me before you signed that deal!” Presley grows more upset with each word. “I’m happy that you’ve gotten this chance, but this isn’t just your life. I’m the other half in this too!”
“We have plenty of time to start a family. We can still do all that, just not now. Not when my career is about to take off.”
“So all the plans we had are gone, like that?”
“Plans change, Presley.” I want to take her in my arms, but each time I move forward, she moves back. “Don’t,” I plead. “You’re not looking at the whole picture!”
“You painted the picture of us spending the next two years with you finishing school, getting married, living together, and then entering the draft. You did all this behind my back.”
“But now I don’t have to do that. I can go play ball now,” I explain. She’s missing that this is my chance. “And what if I get hurt this year playing here? Then I might not get this opportunity again.”
“I get that. I know the risks, and you’re right that this is your chance. You already signed it and you’re going, but I can’t do this. I can’t spend four years sitting here waiting for you. I won’t move to California now either. You’ll be training or playing, which means you’d never be around. It’s not fair to me either.”
I can’t lose her, but I can’t quit baseball either. “I won’t give you up, Presley. I lived the last two years without you.”
“I know. I lived through missing my prom and having to see you only on breaks, and even then, you were training. I was the one who dealt with the drunken phone calls and heard about girls hanging on you while I was a thousand miles away.”
“I never—”
“Don’t. I’m not done, Zachary.” I let her continue on, trying to think of ways to fix this. “I struggled through two years of waiting for you. I did it all because of how much I love you—and at the end of it, I thought we’d finally be together. And then you do this? Am I supposed to just up and move each time you decide something?”
I try telling myself that she’s in shock. She doesn’t mean this. As soon as the dust settles, she’ll see. “This is my dream. I mean it’s pro. It’s everything I worked for. There’s no way I can walk away from this. You’ve always known this was the end game.”
Her chest heaves as she looks me in the eye. “Then go.” She tries to catch her breath.
“I feel like you’re making me choose between you and baseball. I can’t do that. Don’t you see I can’t choose?” To give up my dream or her . . . I can’t. But I know Presley, she’s upset, but she loves me.
“No, Zach.” She sniffles and I can see a multitude of emotions playing across her face. “You’re choosing what you want. And that’s fine. I’m choosing what’s best for me. I’m not changing colleges. And I’m not going to live my next three and half years in misery while you tour the country. I’m happy you got picked up.” Hope starts to form. “I really am proud of you. I love you so much it hurts.” This is the Presley I’ve loved my whole life. “But that doesn’t mean I can be with you while you do this. I want you to be happy, but I need to make sure that I’m not being stupid either. I’m eighteen years old, so maybe this is for the best.”