Say I'm Yours Page 59
“Why didn’t you just tell me?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t know. In the beginning, it was fear that if he found out you’d survived, he’d try to take you, but we’ve never seen him since. After a while, it was selfish on some level. I needed you to always be my son in every way. I never wanted you to look for him. I never wanted you to ask about him. More than that, I was afraid if you knew, I’d lose you, son.”
I shake my head as my own tears make it hard to see. “You never would’ve.”
“Look at what happened when you heard,” he reminds me. “You took off.”
“I took off because you lied to me,” I explain. “It was like someone told me the sky wasn’t blue. I never questioned you being my father.”
“You’re my son, Trent. You’re my first son no matter what a blood test says. I need you to always know that. I need you to know I never loved you any differently. Not one minute.”
I can’t hold back. I tried as much as I could, but this is quite possibly my last conversation with my father. And it’s him trying to comfort me. My emotions overwhelm me, and I let out a strangled sob. “You can’t die now. Not today. Not ever.”
My head falls, and his hand moves to the top of my head. “You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. One day you’ll see it. You’ve been a fighter since before you were born. Nothin’ came easy for you, but you have to open your eyes and let yourself be happy. Marry that girl, start a family, and live your life. It goes fast.” I look at him, and he smiles with tear-filled eyes. “You have been my greatest gift. I didn’t create you, but I got to keep you.”
Chapter 22
Grace
T he last four days have been devastating. We stay at the hospital all day and most of the night. The doctor attempted another blood transfusion, but Rhett hasn’t gotten any better. It’s the pneumonia that will take his life.
He’s on heavy antibiotics to attempt getting it under control, but they explained at this point, there’s almost no chance it’ll work. The oncologist explained we should prepare, because it will happen very quickly.
Trent spoke with his brothers after he talked with his dad. They forgave him for disappearing, and tried their best to understand. They joked about knowing there was always something off with him.
Idiots.
I don’t know that any of us can understand the turmoil he’s struggling with. I can empathize with him, but I don’t know what he truly feels.
We were at the hospital until around midnight last night. He spent his time by his father’s side and tried to focus on every minute they all have with him.
It’s hard knowing someone you love is going to die.
It’s hard watching people around you struggle and not be able to help.
There’s a helplessness that can eat at your soul before the grief has even started.
Neither of us slept much last night, and I try to leave him to his thoughts. I enjoy being in his arms, feeling him close. He’s been a pillar of strength since he’s had more time with his father.
“Did you and your dad work things out?” I ask. I didn’t want to ask him what was said, but the concern is too much to hold back anymore.
“Yeah, I understand him and why they kept it quiet. After knowing how my biological father abused my mother, I can see the want to protect me. I would’ve gone lookin’ for him.”
He tells me a little about how his mother was beaten. The fact that Trent could’ve died at the hand of his own father. A world without him would’ve been a very bleak place. Trent watches me as tears stream. His mother never deserved that kind of treatment. My thoughts turn to my sister, and I wonder if Scarlett felt the same way. Their stories mirror each other so much. Loving a man who uses his fists.
When Scarlett came home the first time William beat her, Trent was the first one standing in line to keep her safe. He stayed outside our home for two days waiting for Bill to show up. The anger he felt for any man putting his hands on a woman was palpable. Rhett taught him that. He showed him right from wrong and he’s the man he is now because of who raised him.
“Don’t cry, baby.” His thumb wipes under my eye. “It all worked out. I’m here, my mother found Pop, and we’re okay.”
I nod and try to stop crying. “And your brothers?”
This was the one thing I wondered most about. Wyatt and Zach wouldn’t handle this secret any better.
Trent’s eyes meet mine as I rest my chin on his chest. “Wyatt was livid. It took a lot to get him to stop yellin’. Zach was quiet and angry that my parents have been lyin’ to us. Mom sat there crying and asked them to understand, but it was Dad who finally told them it wasn’t their business about how they raised their family. He then asked them if it changed anything.”
“And?”
I can imagine Rhett’s deep voice and the way a silence would fall around the room. Wyatt would bristle at being told what to do, Zach would brush it off, and Trent would sit, waiting for his brothers to answer. This was probably one of the things that worried him most. His brothers feeling differently about him. I know in my heart it wouldn’t, but I also know Trent and the feeling of being thrown away haunting him.
He laughs. “They looked at Dad and snorted, saying the only people they were thinkin’ of kicking out of the family were him and Mom.”
I smile and lay my head on his chest. Listening to his heartbeat with my eyes closed. I’m content in this moment. Trent runs his fingers through my hair as I rest. This feels incredible. Having no secrets or no worries about our future. It’s something I’ve yearned for. I start to drift, from being both comfortable and sated.
“Marry me?” Trent blurts out as I’m on the brink of falling asleep.
That woke me the hell up.
I freeze. “What?” I ask, thinking maybe I heard him wrong.
“Marry me,” Trent repeats.
Okay, so maybe I didn’t hear him wrong. I don’t say a word as I try to find my lungs. He can’t be serious. It’s been twenty years of waiting for those words, surely he wouldn’t say it on a whim.
“Trent.” I shift and look at him as my heart races. “You’re going through a lot right now. I’m not sure that this is really what you want.”