Rogue Page 93

“Bloody hell.” Wes’s disgusted voice rose up from the corner. “Will the pair of you please stop before I yark all over the room? Riley, you might want to come see this.”

Rolling his eyes, Riley pulled away. I stood there, watching them for a moment, my heart thudding in my chest and my dragon surging beneath my skin. The temperature in the room was suddenly too hot, stifling, and the walls seemed too close. I had to get some air.

With one last look at Wes and Riley, still deep in conversation, I slipped out the door into the warmth of the night. I told myself I needed to be alone, to clear my head, but that was a lie. And I didn’t have to search far. A lean, pale form stood in the outdoor hall with his elbows against the railing, gazing out over the parking lot. I started toward him, but as I did, my steps faltered and I hesitated, suddenly torn between saying something and going back inside. Why was I afraid? This was Garret.

Swallowing, I forced myself to move, knowing he’d heard me come out. “Hey, you,” I greeted as the door clicked behind me. I kept my voice light, a stark contrast to the uncertainty within. “Spot any ninjas yet? Maybe a secret agent hiding in the cactus?”

“No,” he said quietly, still watching the pink glow over the horizon. “But there is a suspicious-looking bench near the parking lot that I’m keeping an eye on. Just in case.”

Smiling, I joined him at the railing and mimicked his pose, and we stared at the distant mountains for several heartbeats. In this quiet moment before dawn, the world was silent, peaceful. I wished I could feel the same, but the raging storm of questions inside made that impossible. I wondered where we would go next. I wondered where Dante was, what he was doing, what he was planning now. I wondered if there would come a time when I could stop running. If someday Talon and St. George would just stop killing each other, if the war would ever cease.

“Ember.”

Garret’s voice, soft and hesitant, broke the predawn stillness. He kept his gaze on the horizon, but his whole posture was stiff, tense. “You never answered me last night.”

My stomach turned inside out, and everything around us froze. Garret straightened and turned, keeping one hand on the railing, to face me, metallic gaze burning the side of my head. A little flutter of panic bloomed inside. I kept my gaze on a distant street lamp, watching it flicker against the coming dawn, and felt the silence stretch between us, brittle and terrifying. My heart pounded, screaming at me to say something, to give him the words he was waiting for. But I didn’t know if I could…feel like that. When I was with him, I was happy. When we touched, my heart beat faster and my stomach did crazy cartwheels. When we were apart, I thought of him constantly, and when we were together, I was content. But I didn’t know if that was love.

And how could I love him, when a part of me longed for Cobalt, standing in the very next room?

“What do you want me to say, Garret?” I whispered at last.

Garret didn’t answer for a moment, then took a quiet breath, as if bracing himself. “I just want the truth,” he said, and his voice wasn’t angry or cold or demanding, just resigned. Sad. “I have never felt…anything like this. And I know that I’m the last person in the world that deserves it, but…I meant it when I said that I’m in love with you.” His voice wavered on the last sentence, then grew stronger, almost defiant. “I love you, Ember,” he said again, and I closed my eyes. “I’m not ashamed, and I’m not afraid of what it means. But I…I need to know if you feel the same.”

He was putting all his cards on the table, leaving himself wide-open, and I was probably going to rip his heart out. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say I felt the same, but at the same time, I didn’t want to lie to him. My emotions were a chaotic swirl of confusion and doubt. Garret. Cobalt. Longing. Love. Which was stronger? How did people even know if they were in love?

“Garret,” I stammered miserably, “I…I don’t know. I’m not human. I don’t even know if we’re capable of…those kinds of feelings.”

“I don’t believe that,” Garret said. “I might have once, but not anymore. I’ve seen you, Ember. From the very first day we met in Crescent Beach, I’ve watched you. You’ve made friends and formed attachments, and you miss them, even now. You’re angry at your brother because he chose Talon over you. You refused to be what your trainer wanted, a Viper that kills without emotion. You’re the one who taught me that dragons aren’t really that different than us, and I abandoned everything I believed in because of you.” He paused then, his voice becoming quietly desperate. “Don’t tell me you’re not capable of it,” he almost whispered. “What’s really holding you back?”

I sighed and looked up at him, finally admitting the truth to us both. “Riley.”

He didn’t look surprised. He just nodded once, slowly, as if I’d confirmed what he’d always suspected. I finally turned to face him head-on, needing him to understand. “Garret…I like you. I really do. When I’m with you…I feel more human than I have in my entire life. I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel that way, and I don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing, but at this point, I really don’t care. I want to be with you. Sometimes…sometimes I wish that I wasn’t a dragon, so we could be normal together.” I gave a tiny, bitter chuckle. “Of course, if I was human, we would’ve never met, so it’s kind of a catch-22, isn’t it?”

Garret didn’t reply. He still watched me, those solemn gray eyes making me want to drop my gaze and hide. I stifled the impulse and continued to face him.

“But,” I went on, “I can’t ignore what I feel for Riley. And I don’t want to lie, to either of you. I honestly don’t know what’s going on between the three of us, and until I’m sure… I can’t give you a real answer. I’m sorry, Garret.” I couldn’t take the way he was looking at me any longer, and I turned away. “I think…I need some time to figure this out.”

“All right.” His voice surprised me. I was expecting anger, contempt, accusations for leading him on, not this quiet resolve. “Then I guess that makes this easy.”

I looked back at him quickly. “Makes what easy?”

This time he turned away. Only then did I notice the backpack, propped beside the door, already packed, and everything went cold inside me. “You’re leaving?”

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