I looked at Dad then I looked at Hank who had secured the car and was approaching us.

“Um…” I said, not sure how much to share.

“Sales,” Hank replied, stopping at my side.

“He must be a slick talker,” Dad commented, clearly impressed.

I smiled at Hank, laughing under my breath. He grinned and took my hand.

“Sir. You can’t park there,” a valet was jogging up to us and staring at the 4Runner. Hank had parked beside two other cars, both of which I knew, Lee’s Crossfire and Eddie’s red Dodge Ram. They were the only cars that were parked near the house.

Hank flashed his badge to the valet.

The valet pursed his lips. “Go on in,” he relented.

“It’s good having a cop in the family,” Mom said, sotto voce, to Dad as we walked across the bridge over the moat.

“Yeah, good parking anywhere. That’s the reason it’s good having a cop in the family. Jeez, Trish,” Dad returned.

good having a cop in the family. Jeez, Trish,” Dad returned.

Hank squeezed my hand and I sighed, and for the first time in a long time, it was a happy sigh.

The front door was opened for us by a uniformed butler-type person and we walked down a long hal ; the wal s made of stone, a deep red, thick carpet runner down the middle. The hal was decorated in “Castle Chic” with sets of armor, torches and crossed swords.

Every once in awhile, there was a table displaying a fabulously expensive necklace or set of earrings, a glossy brochure depicting a sunny vacation spot, a shiny crystal vase or a glass sculpture and al of them had a silent auction bid sheet next to them. A quick glance showed al of the bid sheets had bids. Some of the tables had elegantly dressed people standing around them. They al turned to watch us walk in, most of them smiled at us (or, I should say, most of the ladies smiled at Hank, some of them just stared, wide-eyed and lustful).

At the end of a hal was a huge room with an enormous fireplace that had a roaring fire and more people standing around, drinking glasses of champagne. Uniformed waiters walked around with trays of champagne and hors d’oeuvres.

We barely made it into the room when I heard, “Yoo hoo!”

It was Tod and Stevie, standing with Indy and Lee, Jet and Eddie and Carl and Al y. Al the men were dressed like Hank, suits and open-necked shirts. They al looked heart-stoppingly, mouth-wateringly, unbelievably great. Indy had on a deep green, sheath dress with one shoulder bared.

on a deep green, sheath dress with one shoulder bared.

Jet was wearing a pale pink strapless number with a black ribbon at an empire waist. Al y was in a dark blue halter dress with a deep slit up the front and serious cle**age.

Tod and Stevie were in tuxes.

Hugs, air-kisses and handshakes were exchanged, I introduced my folks to Tod and Stevie and Eddie stopped a waiter to get us glasses of champagne.

“Girlie, you look gorgeous. I’m giving you that dress. It was made for you,” Tod said to me.

I laughed for the second time that night and I hadn’t been there ten minutes.

“You can’t give me this dress. It had to cost a fortune,” I told Tod.

“Fortunes come, fortunes go. Gowns are forever and that gown was meant to be yours,” Tod replied.

“Tod, the last time I wore a formal dress was to a frat party Christmas bal . Thank you but, I couldn’t,” I declined, I thought graciously.

“You can, you wil , you won’t give me any backtalk,” Tod contradicted and then turned his eyes to Hank. “See she has somewhere to wear it,” he ordered.

I looked to Indy for help, not only with the dress but because I didn’t know how Hank would take being ordered about by a g*y man (or any man for that matter).

She was smiling huge.

“Don’t fight Tod. You’l lose,” she advised.

“Ha!” Tod barked. “You want to talk about your wedding colors again? Lee!” Tod turned to Lee. “How do you feel about tangerine and chocolate as wedding colors?”

“I thought we went over this –” Al y butted in.

“Shush, I’m not talking to you,” Tod shushed Al y and his eyes cut back to Lee. “Lee?”

“Don’t ask me, the wedding doesn’t concern me. My job is to show up and I’l be sure to do that,” Lee answered.

Al the female and g*y men’s eyes grew round.

Eddie looked at his shoes. Carl grinned. Dad chuckled.

Hank’s arm slid around my waist but his head turned to the side. He was feigning avid interest in a banner with a crest that was attached to the wal .

Al this meant Lee was very, very alone.

“I’m sorry?” Indy asked, turning to Lee.

“Do what you want. I don’t care. I’l be responsible for the honeymoon,” Lee told her.

“That’s it? You want to have a tangerine and chocolate wedding?” Indy asked.

“I don’t even know what that means,” Lee returned and when Indy opened her mouth to speak, Lee went on, his eyes crinkled at the corners. “And, gorgeous, I don’t want to know.”

“I don’t believe this,” Indy hissed under her breath.

“Son, let me tel you something. Even if you don’t care, pretend you do. Honestly, it’s the best way to go,” Dad, the voice of experience, decided to wade in. “She talks about toss pil ows. You don’t care about toss pil ows. You don’t even know what toss pil ows are. Pretend that toss pil ows are your highest priority in life.”

Eddie chuckled under his breath. Carl did it straight out.

Lee smiled at Dad. Hank was stil memorizing the banner but he was now biting his lower lip.

Mom turned to Dad, eyes narrowed and said, “Excuse me?”

“Trish, just last week, we had a forty-five minute discussion about the curtains in the living room,” Dad said.

“You think I give a shit about curtains? I care that there’s beer in the fridge and the TV works. I don’t care about curtains. I didn’t hear a word you said about the curtains.”

“You agreed to the curtains with the little trumpets on them! You said you loved the idea! I already ordered them. I thought it was al decided,” Mom cried.

Dad looked back at Lee and nodded sagely.

Mom’s face got red, “Are you saying you don’t like the curtains with the trumpets?”

“I’m sayin’ I don’t care. Get whatever you want. I don’t even see the curtains,” Dad replied.

“Guys –” I tried to run interference.