I thought about Aggie finding out. When I’d called her to tell her I’d be home late, she’d sounded positively ecstatic. She’d told me to stay out as long as I wanted, and that she wouldn’t wait up. Chances were she wouldn’t even find out I’d been drinking, but a sliver of shame twisted in my chest.

“Try it,” Evan said, and I took a drink.

The rum mixed with the Coke wasn’t so bad. It was good, even. I took another sip, and another.

Evan and I chatted while I finished my first cup. He made me another after I asked for more. Near the bottom of my second, my face grew warm and my head grew fuzzy. The fire shifted left, then right. Chloe skipped in front of me, chasing after Sean, and for a second I had a hard time focusing on her.

The more I drank, the lighter and fuzzier I felt. The more I laughed, the more Evan laughed. The more I felt like maybe I could do it, whatever it was.

A lot of my insecurities drifted away with the embers of the fire. I forgot about Gabriel, about losing my mother, the terrible things I’d gone through. I finally felt like a normal girl.

After I’d finished my second drink and half of my third, Evan asked if I’d go for a walk with him. I left my cup sitting on the ground near my chair, and Evan grabbed my hand as he pulled me into the woods.

I immediately missed the heat of the fire, but the warmth of Evan’s body pressed close to my side helped. His fingers were threaded with mine, our arms intertwined. We ducked through the trees and followed a trail that had been worn into the forest over time.

“This goes down to a little inlet,” Evan explained, his voice quieter now that we weren’t talking over the noise of the group. “It’s really pretty,” he added.

I smiled, even though he couldn’t see me. I couldn’t stop smiling.

The path we were on was wide and clear, and the moonlight lit it pretty well. Still, I had a hard time following a straight line. I kept stumbling over roots that had broken through the dirt. Evan let go of my hand and wove his arm around me, his fingers settling on my waist. A thrill went up my spine.

“That better?” he asked, a bit of amusement in his voice.

“Yes, thanks.”

“Maybe you drank a little bit too much.”

I laughed. “I guess I did.”

“Sorry,” he said, tightening his hold on me. “I should have stopped you after one.”

“It’s all right. I’m fine.”

Better than fine.

The walk took less than ten minutes, and when we reached the inlet, the path turned into a steep decline. Evan went first and helped me down. When the ground flattened out again, Evan guided me to a large rock that sat half onshore, half in the water. It was big enough for both of us, and Evan pulled me in to him, tucking me in the crook of his arm.

My stomach swam.

“Sometimes I come out here by myself,” he said, his voice low and heavy. “No one comes out here, especially at night. It’s quiet.”

It was. Though I could still hear the voices of the others off in the distance, here, now, was muffled by darkness, and punctuated by the constant slapping of the water against the shore.

“What do you think?” Evan asked, turning to face me.

I looked up at him. His eyes were flecked with silver from the moonlight, his lips gleaming, too. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was how kind Evan was being, but I leaned closer and kissed him.

He hesitated one second and no more before matching the kiss. His hand came up, fingers lacing through my hair. I reached over, placing my hand on his chest, and felt the flexing of muscle beneath the thin material of his T-shirt. His tongue ran across my mouth, growing more fervent, and I answered back.

I didn’t want him to stop. I didn’t want this night to stop.

Something chirped. Evan pulled away and sighed. “Sorry,” he said, and dug his cell out of his pocket. The screen read MOM. “I gotta take this. Give me a second?”

“Sure.”

Evan answered. “Hey, Ma.” He paused, then, “I’m out at the lake. What? No. Hold on.” He held the phone to his chest and said to me, “I don’t have much of a signal. I’m going to see if I can find one. Wait here?”

I wanted to tell him I’d come with, I was afraid of being out here in the dark alone, but instead I nodded. Because I didn’t want to reveal how fragile I really was.

Evan kissed me once more before scooting off the rock and heading back up the hill. I watched him wander away, holding his phone in the air. Within seconds, he was gone, swallowed up by the forest.

I folded my arms around myself and stared out at the lake. The water was black, the other side invisible in the dark. Something cracked behind me. I whirled around. “Evan?” I called.

Nothing.

I slid off the rock and went up on tiptoes to see to the top of the hill. “Evan?”

A shuffle.

My heart sped up.

A twig snapped.

Goose bumps rose on my arms. I hurried up the hill and scanned the forest. I couldn’t see Evan, or the glow of his cell phone. Something rattled the bushes to my left and I ran.

My heart beat at the back of my throat. My breath came quickly. My feet couldn’t seem to move fast enough.

The forest teetered, my vision still unsteady. I caught my foot on something and went down hard, palms slamming into the rocky dirt. All the air left my lungs, and when I sucked in the next breath, I caught the overwhelming scent of pine.

Pine trees. Gabriel. Gabriel’s scent.