Our Options Have Changed Page 75
As if on cue, the baby monitor picks up the rustling of blankets and a baby’s snurgle.
“I know.”
“You want to start over? Really?” There’s that wariness again.
“I want my freedom.”
Wariness turns to alarm, and she stiffens.
“But freedom doesn’t mean what I thought it meant.”
She cuddles up again.
“What does it mean?”
“Being with you. Building a family. Blending families. Finding meaning. Loving you and my kids.”
Holly kicks off her blanket, the movement caught in black and white on the video monitor.
Chloe gives me an uh oh look.
Time is precious.
“All my kids.”
She jerks in my arms.
“However you want to define that.”
“I’m a little old for you to adopt me, Nick.”
I pinch her.
She squeezes me.
We make love again, quickly, before Holly wakes up crying.
But that’s fine.
Because we made it.
Just in time.
Chapter 23
Chloe
These days, when I have a date with my boyfriend, I stay home and my child goes out. Is that unusual? Tonight Holly has been delivered to Nick’s house, where his girls will babysit. Nick and I then hightailed it back to my place. The logistics of my life would daunt an air traffic controller.
At least I don’t have to pack very much for these visits. Holly has more toys and little outfits there than she does here, thanks to the twins. Like Charlotte, they seem to associate babies with shopping. Holly’s first Christmas involved so many new toys and clothes that my condo looks like a Toys’R’Us bomb combined with a Hanna Andersson and Oilily fashion show.
Jean-Marc is less interested in accessorizing. His one notable contribution has been digging out their family copy of Walter the Farting Dog, which he reads to Holly with evident enjoyment whenever he is there.
If her first word is ‘fart,’ I am not going to be happy.
I’m standing at my sink, rinsing romaine and filling Nick in on the past few days. Although we work together pretty closely now, we try to keep it ultra-professional. No one at Anterdec knows we’re dating. I’m pretty sure.
“They still can’t officially tell me anything about Li, but our social worker manages to keep me updated. This week they thought they might have found her at a friend’s, but when they got there, she was gone. Or she was never there.” I sigh. “The adoption becomes final in ten days.”
“Are you worried?” he asks. He’s marinating the steak.
“No, not really. I mean, of course I’ll be relieved when she’s legally mine forever, but I don’t think Li will try to stop it at this point, especially considering the police and social workers have never been able to locate her.” I frown. He rubs my back, the gesture one of empathy. Li has no idea what a precious child she’s brought into the world. I’m so grateful to be Holly’s mother, but the fabric of our lives has this big loose end, and it’s hard to accept. I hope Li is safe and in a good place. I can’t help but worry.
“We need to celebrate the day the adoption is final. I’m declaring it a holiday...a Holliday.” He chuckles. “We’ll all go out for dinner, my kids and Henry and Jemma too.”
“For Happy Meals,” I add, laughing with him. “I love it. Let’s invite Jessica Coffin.”
Nick has put down the meat fork. He walks up behind me, and I expect to feel the warmth of his arms, but I don’t. Instead, something lowers around me, and I look down.
He’s fastening a delicate chain behind my neck. Suspended from the chain are thin circular bands of different colors of gold that interlock. I touch them gently. Spread out, they form a globe. A world.
Six bands of gold.
Tears fill my eyes and spill down around the necklace.
“You’ve become my world, Chloe,” he says softly. “I want you to remember that every time you look at this necklace, or feel it against your skin. Especially at work, where I can’t tell you myself. At least, not yet.”
“Oh, Nick. It’s beautiful.” I hold the gold rings in my palm, like a talisman. Or a promise? I turn and kiss him, tears mingling with our lips.
He chuckles. “You rinsed the lettuce with tears. Not good. I’m trying to cut down on salt.”
“I’m sorry,” I sniffle. “Your blood pressure is very important to me.”
“Especially in certain places,” he smiles. “For dessert. In the meantime, I’m starving. Fire up the grill.”
“Already nice and hot for you.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that,” he says, giving me a kiss. Then he sets the steaks up nicely, with a flourish.
“If you were really watching your salt intake, you wouldn’t have marinated the steak in soy sauce. Speaking of work, did I tell you that the new gO Spa vehicle is ready?” I help with dinner. I drink my wine.
Bzzz.
Nick groans and shoots me an apologetic look as he takes a call, walking into the living room. I walk outside and stare up at the dark night, thankful that in the ever-expanding universe somehow the two points of being called Nick and Chloe found each other.
Maudlin and a bit sappy, yes.
But also true.
“When’s the maiden voyage?” he asks, his hands on my elbows, slipping around my waist from behind, cupping my belly where they link. I lean back into him, smiling.
“Scheduled to depart in two months, but we’re having trouble arranging the delivery to New Orleans. We’re going to have to delay. We need someone experienced on board, but O is too busy to spare any of the staff. Plus we need someone who knows how to handle a vehicle like that. We couldn’t just hand Zeke the keys and send him off on the highway.” I sigh against him.
“Right. Zeke’s the one raised in England?”
“Yes. I think the only thing he knows how to drive is a Vespa, and even then he can’t keep it on the right-hand side.”
“I wish I could send Charlie on a long road trip. I could use some space every once in a while.”
“Charlie’s better at getting massages than giving them,” I laugh as I turn in his arms, facing him. “A lot better.”
Nick’s eyebrows lower.