“Honey?” Paul said, in wonderment as he took a seat.

“Mom, you okay?” Evan asked, mystified, sitting next to him.

“No, I’m not okay, and I’ll tell you why.” Mindy scrolled to the saved photos on her phone, held up her phone to face them, and started an XXX-rated slideshow for her son and her husband. “Evan. What in God’s holy name are these photographs doing on your phone? Who is Amanda? Why are there so many different ones? And are you texting the photos to anybody else, because if you are, Heaven help you, I am going to rearrange your very handsome face.”

“Oh no!” Evan’s eyes flew open.

“Oh no,” Paul said, aghast.

“Oh, yes,” Mindy corrected. “And Evan, before you answer, I also want to know who you’re buying presents for, and what you’re doing with the money, because you’ve withdrawn ten thousand dollars from your account over the past three months. So either you’re buying drugs, buying women, or buying tattoos—”

“I can explain, Mom—” Evan interrupted, panicky, but Mindy wasn’t finished venting yet.

“Evan, why are these girls sending you these photos?” Mindy stood above Paul and Evan, folding her arms, and she had never felt more powerful in her life. “Do you ask or do they offer? If you sent them to anybody, you’re transmitting child pornography, do you realize that? You can go to jail! Everybody you sent them to can go to jail, if they send it on. If you have an explanation, you better start explaining right now!”

“I can explain,” Paul interjected, his tone quiet, and Mindy wheeled around to him.

“Paul! Don’t tell me you knew what this is about! If you knew and didn’t tell me then you’re going to have more to answer for than Carole’s real birthday, because the one you told me was a lie!”

Paul grimaced. “Honey, I didn’t know about the pictures—”

Evan interjected, “Mom, Dad didn’t know about the pictures, he didn’t know about any of it—”

Paul shook his head. “I knew about the money, Evan. I can explain about the money—”

“Dad, you don’t have to.” Evan put a hand on Paul’s arm, and Mindy could see they were trying to protect each other. Boys will be boys, covering each other’s asses against Mean Mommy, The Disciplinarian, the Mother of Us All, the Boss Bitch.

“No more games, either of you!” Mindy barked. “I want the truth and I want it now.”

Paul sighed, then said, “Honey, as I started to say, I can explain about the money, it went to pay for—”

“I got a girl pregnant,” Evan said, finishing the sentence.

Mindy almost fell over. She wasn’t sure she had even heard him right. “You what?”

Evan reddened, flustered. “Mom, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. It was an accident. I always use protection, I do. I know you told me, I know all about it. But this one time I didn’t, she was drinking, and I was drinking, and it was legit consent, but we didn’t use protection, and then she told me she was pregnant and she wanted to, well end the pregnancy—”

“An abortion?” Mindy groaned, stricken. She had a million thoughts at once. An abortion, a baby. Evan got a girl pregnant. A baby had been aborted. Her son’s baby. Her grandchild. It was too much, and she sank into the couch opposite them, suddenly powerless, helpless, useless.

“Mom, don’t be upset, really, it’s all fine now, we took care of it, that’s what the money was for.” Evan leaned forward urgently. “When it happened, when she told me, I went to Dad and I told him that the girl didn’t want the baby. Believe me, I didn’t have a choice even if I wanted a baby, she wasn’t about to have it and neither were her parents—”

Mindy listened, appalled. Paul knew. Her parents knew. Everyone knew but Mindy. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t interrupt her son, who was talking a mile a minute anyway.

“—I went to Dad because I didn’t want to upset you, and he said I had to pay for it out of my own money because that’s my fault and I have to learn to accept the consequences and all that. So we took it out of my own account and we knew you never look at my statements, so we thought it would be fine.”

Mindy’s mouth had gone completely dry, and she turned to Paul. “You thought this would be fine? You paid for a girl to abort your son’s first child and you didn’t even tell me? And you thought that was fine?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, honey.” Paul kept his surgeon’s demeanor, experienced at delivering bad news. “I thought it would be the best way to handle it, just Evan and me. I didn’t want you to get upset, and we knew that you would. So we took care of the problem ourselves.”

“The problem?” Mindy shouted. “It wasn’t a problem, it was a baby, our grandchild, and I had a right to know that baby existed. You didn’t tell me because you thought I would say no, because I could stop you, so you just ignored the fact that I exist. How could you? How could you keep it from me?”

“I thought it was best, considering, that last year was so difficult—”

“Ha! Oh, I get it! So, because you kept your affair a secret, which almost ended our marriage, you also decided to keep this a secret, too. Which therapy session did we cover that in? Because I must’ve missed that one!”

Paul frowned, glancing at Evan. “Honey—”

“What?” Mindy knew Paul didn’t like that she’d just let Evan know about his affair, but she was beyond caring. “Yes, Paul, you had an affair, and now Evan knows it, too. Our son is not a child anymore, since he made a child of his own. The jig is up, wouldn’t you say, Gramps?”

Evan said nothing, without looking over at his father.

Paul sighed, contrite. “I’m so sorry, honey. I should’ve told you. I just wanted to make it easier on you, and that may have been a mistake, but I own that.”

“Oh you own that?” Mindy hated that Paul used therapy-speak but had learned zero in therapy. “Don’t you think that’s wrong, that that’s terrible, that your son got a girl pregnant? When did you buy him the BMW, before or after?”

Evan made a little hiccup, his eyes suddenly brimming with tears. “Mom, I’m really sorry, I really am. I would never do it again, and if I could take it back, I would—”