“If we’re being honest with each other, I hope you get fired from that pitiful place,” she sniffed.

A mocha latte was placed in front of me. Going to the same café almost every day has its benefits. They always know what I want. I walk in and they get it ready for me.

“Here you go, Lilly.  Having a good day?” Joey smirked at me.

He’s the only male worker at Mirabelle’s and a joker to boot.

“Oh yeah, today’s been a fabulous day. It’s getting better, too,” I said, sarcastically.

It was an inside joke between me and the people that work at the café. Since Mirabelle’s has always been my meeting place with mom, they’ve figured out how well our little meeting is going by how many lattes I order. One latte usually means it was a pleasant conversation, quick and to the point. Two lattes means things didn’t go so well. Three means I’m probably about three minutes away from pulling my hair out and hanging my mother by a make shift napkin noose.

“Mom!” I said in a hushed tone after Joey leaves the table. “Why would you say that? You hope I get fired? I can’t believe you’d wish bad things on me like that. I have to have that job for sanity purposes. I’m so sorry that I refuse to live like you, but that’s no reason for you to say mean things to me.”

I rolled my eyes before nursing my latte and wishing I had told her I couldn’t get out of work.

Mom continued on and on about me not needing to work. I tuned her out. It’s always about money with her. Normal families argued because the children constantly asked the parents for money. In my case, we argued because I refused to blow it.

There have been a few times when expensive name brand handbags and shoes would mysteriously show up at my door—brand names I can’t even pronounce. Normal people don’t wear twelve-hundred dollar shoes. Needless to say, Shannon has a pretty impressive closet.

As I continued to tune my mom out, I noticed a cute couple at a corner table. They were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Their elbows were rested on the table for balance as they each leaned in to get closer to the other. It was adorable to watch as he smiled at her and softly rubbed her hand.  Her cheeks were turning pink as he whispered sweet nothings to her from across the table.

I smiled secretly to myself at the love story that was unfolding in front of me. Their love for each other was evident. It was written in their smiles and seeped out of their eyes. I couldn’t look away. I hated myself for being a crazy, romance stalker, but the longing that crashed over me was paralyzing.

“Lilly! What’s gotten into you? Are you even listening to me?”

I snapped my attention back to my mom.

“Of course I’m listening. I have a lot on my mind right now.”

“Sweetie, you know you can talk to me about anything.  Go ahead, exactly what’s bothering you?”

The couple in the corner caught my attention once more.

“Mom, did you love dad?”

She straightened her body as if reflecting the awkward question with her chest.

“I loved your father very much. Unfortunately, my love wasn’t enough for the both of us. Why do you ask such a strange question?”

“No reason,” I said. “Just curious what it felt like.”

She looked at me sadly as she proceeded to pat my hand in an attempt to be motherly.

“OK, enough with this nonsense.  Let’s do something fun. Let’s go shopping! We can buy whatever you want, anything that’ll make you happy. Just tell me what it is and I’ll make sure you get it.”

Growing up, anytime some skinny girl at school would laugh at me or we had a school dance that I never had a date to—mom was always the first one to blow it off as no big deal. She’d buy something fun and after a while I’d get over it. It was her way. The only way she knew how to show affection was to buy things. Instead of the sweet words and motherly hugs, I got gifts.

“Money can’t buy everything, Mom,” I said as I looked back to the cute couple who was now making out in their little corner.

Mom looked at them, too. She knew right away what I meant.

“Are you lonely, Sweetie? Because I’ll be the first to tell you that you do not need a man to make you happy. Trust me. I had one for twenty years and I was miserable.” She laughed at her little joke.

I smiled at her and then gave her a forced laugh.

“Just forget it, Mom. Let’s go shopping. I could use a few new shirts and a pair of shoes,” I said, hoping she would forget what she had just witnessed.