My smile is instant.

-LUCY-

Holy crud bucket.

I'm so nervous. More nervous than when I showered him with my virgin kisses. I want him to stay. I want to be in his arms where I know I'm safe. I want to go slow, but it's hard. Especially since I know what's waiting at the end. Him.

I lie under the covers at the edge of the bed and wait for him to climb in behind me, but he doesn't touch me and I don't know why.

"Are you still cold?" he asks.

"A little."

The bed moves and I feel his warmth behind me. "Come closer," he says.

So I do.

And all of a sudden I'm in his arms, exactly where I want to be.

The movie plays on and on and I cry silent tears. He doesn't speak. He doesn't move. He doesn't try to touch me inappropriately. He just holds me. And it's perfect. He's perfect. Just like he's always been.

*

He's out, like a light. I can tell because the movie’s done and he hasn't moved. I feel his chest on my back, rising and falling peacefully with every breath. I turn in his arms so I can face him. He has the hood over his head and his mouth is partially open. His bottom lip quivers slightly with each exhale.

The door opens and Rose is there. I lift my finger to my mouth, telling her to be quiet. Her eyebrows narrow in confusion before she looks past me and to Cameron. She pouts, mouthing, "So cute".

"I know," I mouth back, my smile in full force.

"I'll come back in the morning," she whispers. I thank her before she leaves the room silently.

I look back down at him and my heart aches. But it's the good kind. The love kind. I scoot down in the bed, so we're face to face and bring the covers up to my chin. And I smile. I smile so hard my cheeks hurt. And then I do something I've wanted to do for so damn long. I kiss him.

Softly at first. Just his bottom lip. Then I move to the top one. I giggle like I did when I was a kid, after the first time he kissed me. I place my fingers on my lips, remembering the touch. And then I kiss him again. And again.

Finally, he gasps and jerks awake. "Was I dreaming?"

I clamp my mouth shut.

His voice is hoarse from sleep when he says, "Were you kissing me just now?"

I don't answer.

He pulls me closer to him. "You totally were," he whispers. "I'm kind of pissed I wasn't awake to know it."

"I'm sorry," I tell him, even though I'm not. "You just looked so cute and peaceful... and your lips were just there... waiting..."

He nuzzles his face into my neck. "You should have woken me."

"I don't like waking you."

He leans on his elbow and rests his head in his hand, looking down at me. And then he smiles. God, I missed his smile. His head drops to the crook of my neck. "I've missed you so much, Lucy," he whispers, bringing me closer again.

His lips brush my neck, up to my jaw, and I can feel him everywhere. My body vibrates in his arms, like a million butterflies trying to escape. He kisses my cheek. Just once, so softly I barely feel it. I squirm in his arms, not wanting to get away, but wanting him. "Nah uh," he mutters, squeezing me tighter. "You get to kiss me, now it's my turn."

I bite down on my lip to stop the squeal from escaping. His nose brushes against mine. And then his mouth is on me. But he doesn't move them. Actually, he pulls back.

"Lucy," he says, his voice breaking. "I know that you wanted to take it slow, and that's fine. I can do that to an extent. I can do it physically, but emotionally, I need to know that you're all in. I know I should be patient. I know I should wait. But it's so hard, especially because I want all of you. I need to know that you want it too."

I nod. "I do."

A smile takes over his face. "I'm going to kiss you now," he says.

And then he kisses me.

Holy shit, does he kiss me.

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

-LUCY-

"Two months!" I tell Rose. "Two damn months! He takes me on dates, we spend every spare second together, we sleep in the same bed every damn night and he won't touch me. Doesn't even try to cop a feel! Nothing!"

"Well," she laughs from her bed. "You did ask him to take it slow, right?"

I throw a pillow at her head. "Yeah, I meant slow, not like... glacial. I'm so wound up, I take every opportunity during the day when you're not in here to flick my bean!"

Her head throws back in laughter. "Flick your what?"

"Shut up!" I growl into a pillow. "He leaves every morning and he kisses me. The type of kisses that should be goddamn illegal, Rose. And he's getting hotter. How is that possible? He's started hitting the gym again and there are muscles and his stomach and his hair's like... I don't even... and the kisses."

"Dude." She eyes me sideways. "Are you about to come right now? Because you—"

"YES!" I shout. "I am. I need him to... just..." I whimper in defeat. "My clitorusaurus-rex is not happy."

"Your what!" She's laughing so hard snot comes out. She runs to the bathroom... I guess to clean up her face, maybe pee, I don't know.

She comes back out as if nothing happened. "Why don't you go to him? He's probably afraid, doesn't know how far to take it, you know? If you make the move, show the initiative, I'm sure he'll be happy to oblige."

I stand up. "Yes!" I shout triumphantly. "That's exactly what I'm going to do!"

"Fuck, yeah, girl. Go get it!" She slaps my ass.

I moan with pleasure.

She looks at me disgusted. "Holy shit, Luce, you're horny as fuck."

My phone sounds with a message. I reach for it and smash my finger against the screen. Maybe I'm more pissed off than I thought. "Great," I say sarcastically, "He just said he has class all day but wants to take me out tonight—somewhere special. Do you know what that means, Rose? Do you? It means that I have to wait all day to see him and then tonight—he still won't touch me!"

***

He knocks on my door at seven on the dot, just like he said he would. He's wearing dark jeans and a light blue long-sleeved shirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and his muscles on show. I want to lick him. Everywhere. Or hump his leg. Something.

He hands me a bunch of flowers and kisses me on the cheek.

I take them, thank him, and mumble under my breath that I'd rather have his dick than the flowers.

"Are you okay, babe?" he asks.

"Yup. Just give me two minutes to finish getting ready."

He sits on the bed and I go to the bathroom. I smile as I finish getting dressed. "Game on, Cam."

His eyes go wide when he sees me. Tank top, short frilly skirt, so short you can see the top of my stockings, and the bottom of the suspenders.

"Holy fucking shit," he whispers, covering his junk with my pillow.

I grab a knee length jacket and cover myself. "Ready, baby?"

He swallows loudly and nods. "Y-y-yeah."

***

I take his hand while he drives to wherever we're going, and I set it on the inside of my bare thigh. He makes a noise from deep in his throat and wipes his mouth with his shoulder. Slowly, and attempted casually, I start to scoot lower in my seat, letting his hand drift higher.