“I’m not complaining. Didn’t I just say that?”

“It could have been a hell of a lot better.”

She winced and released him. Her hands no longer clung and she unwrapped her legs from around his waist so he could get off her. Kira looked away, unable and unwilling to let him see how deeply his words cut.

“No, baby,” he crooned. “Don’t. That’s not what I meant.”

“Just eat.”

“Son of a bitch. I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. You need food. I’ve been feeding off you. It’s important that you keep up your strength.” She planted her hands against his chest and gave a gentle push. “I think I need a shower.”

He growled low but lifted up, easing his dick out of her. He climbed off the bed and stormed to the dresser. She didn’t wait to see what he’d do next. She got to her feet, a little surprised at her new agility, and fled to the tiny bathroom. She closed the door and stood in the darkness, happy to be out of his sight.

Her new vision allowed her to see without the light. She turned on the water. It was icy cold but after the first jolt of shock, it didn’t seem to bother her much. Tears filled her eyes and she let them slip down her cheeks.

Chapter Eight

Lorn resisted the urge to break down the bathroom door but instead just jerked on a loose pair of boxers. He wanted to kick his own ass. Kira had deserved better than him just pouncing on her and going to town. That’s what he’d done. She made him crazy.

Now she was in the bathroom and he’d fucked up even more. He’d seen her pain and it was all his fault. He hadn’t meant to hurt her feelings. He didn’t regret what they’d done¸ just that it had happened so fast. He’d fantasized a lot about what he’d do if she were ever naked and willing in his bed. That plan had fallen to hell once he actually had her under him. He’d had the willpower of a teenager. None.

“Damn it,” he hissed, staring at the bathroom door. She was in there washing away his scent, probably regretting saying yes to him.

Part of him was mad at her, too. He’d always envisioned her virginal and shy. It had never entered his mind that she’d let some human touch her, or that she’d be so welcoming to his own touch. He’d always thought he’d have to go slow and coax her into allowing it. He’d even expected fear. The reality had been drastically different. She’d given him permission to just take her body, and he had.

She’d felt amazing. Hot. Wet. So tight and right. A thousand times better than he had imagined all those times he’d jacked off. Lavos had been correct. It was always Kira he thought about when he touched himself. Otherwise he couldn’t come.

He’d never admit it aloud, but with every woman he’d ever fucked in heat, he’d fooled his mind into believing it was Kira in front of him, bent over. It was the only position he’d ever allowed his lovers to take. That way he didn’t have to look at them. He kept his eyes firmly closed, Kira’s face the only one he saw.

“Damn, damn, damn,” he muttered. He stomped over to the fridge and yanked it open. He removed a pack of cold hot dogs and just ate them. He needed something in his stomach but knew he wouldn’t enjoy the taste even if he took the time to cook. “I blew it.”

The water turned off in the bathroom and he dumped the plastic wrapper in the trash. She didn’t have a towel so he grabbed one, knowing she’d have to open the door. She did and gasped, surprised he was waiting. He held it out, refusing to stare at her breasts. They were beautiful though, her nipples beaded from the cold.

“Here.”

“Thanks.”

She tried to close the door but he put a hand out, blocking it. “We need to talk.”

“I don’t think so.” She tried to close the door again.

His temper snapped and he shoved his shoulder against it, grabbed her arm. He was gentle but firm as he hauled her out of the small room and into the kitchen area. He took charge of her towel, wrapping it around her middle. He moved fast and just scooped her into his arms. In a few long strides, he sat in a chair, Kira on his lap. Her shocked expression didn’t bother him. He wanted to get things off his chest.

“I’m not mad at you. Not really. I’m mostly pissed at myself.”

She tucked her head and remained stiff in his arms. “You regret it.”

“I regret how I took you, not that I did. It was too fast.”

She bit her lip and finally looked at him. “Why are you mad at me?”

“You urged me on. Don’t do that to a man who has a raging hard-on and wants you so damn bad he can’t think straight.”

Her lips parted and her eyes widened.

“I had it all planned out in my head. You have no idea how much I’ve thought about how our first time would be.”

“Really?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I’ve always wanted you, Kira. Always. I just wasn’t sure if you felt the same way about me.”

She relaxed on his lap and actually leaned into him a little. “I wish you’d said something. We could have been together. I would have gotten you through your heat. We could have hidden the fact that we were lovers from everyone.”

He knew she was thinking about him with other women and identified pain in her voice. It hurt him, too, understanding how much she’d suffered after her father had talked to him. “You can be so naïve.”

“What does that mean?”

Now he watched her anger spark. He could take that better than knowing the truth of how she’d cried when he’d taken those trips. It was time to be completely honest. “I would have mated you if we’d been lovers, and Decker would have killed you for it. You can’t hide a mating, Kira. You’d carry my scent. I would have died trying to protect you. We would’ve both ended up some tragic tale of what happens when someone goes against Decker’s law. You deserved better than that.”

“We just had sex and you didn’t bite me.”

“I’m older now and have more control. Not that you’d know it after what just happened between us in bed. I would have bitten into you and claimed you if I’d taken you years ago. Trust me on that. We would have run and been hunted down. Protecting you has always been my first priority. Even if it meant protecting you from myself.”