I can see why. She just got bombarded with tweets asking about me.

“Oh my God. What do I tell them? What the hell am I going to tell them?” She screams again. “Fuck! Bebe just found out, thanks a lot! I never told her about you, now she’s going to know I was with you on the island.”

“So?”

“So? Jesus, have you no sympathy for me at all? She’s my best friend and I lied to her! I f**ked a goddamned movie star and I didn’t tell her! How can you—”

“Grace?”

“—be so f**king cold, you jerk!”

“Grace?”

“Oh. My. God. Do you hear that? That’s her now! She’s calling on the other line!”

“Answer it, I’ll wait.”

“Answer it? No! I’m—”

“Grace?”

“What?”

“I’ll tell them all it was a lie if…”

“If what?” she growls at me through the phone.

“If you have phone sex with me, right now.”

“Holy shit, you are insane!”

“Oh! What’s that ding? Bebe again? I don’t suppose she’s very happy with you leaving the island the way you did either. I sense a girl fight coming. I almost wish I was there so—”

“Fine! Fine, fine, fine, I’ll do it. Just quick, say it was a lie.”

“No can do, Miss Kinsella. I need satisfaction first.”

There is a pause then. A blank in her freaking out. But the entire time I can hear her Twitter dinging the incoming messages. She sighs. “OK, you win. Just tell me what to do, I’ve never done anything like this before.” Her breath is all ragged and fast. It’s driving me wild. I wish she was here so bad. I’d strip her naked and bend her over the couch back, then finger her pu**y until she screamed.

“Make me come. It’s that simple. With words, Grace. Make me come with words.” I close my tablet cover and it makes a little snapping sound as the operating system goes to sleep. “Did you hear that? That was me putting my tablet aside. I’m not in the least bit of a hurry to stop the Twitter chatter going on right now. But if you are, my girl, then by all means, you can make it snappy.”

“You’re lucky I’m not there. I’d make it snappy. I’d snap my teeth on your manhood so hard, you’d—”

“Now, now. While I do love the image of your mouth on my cock, your plump lips wrapped around my shaft, sucking while your hands pump me hard and fast—the teeth are not working for me. So leave that part out.”

She growls again and my pants become a little tighter as she decides what to do. “Why? Why do you like to embarrass me?”

“I’m not trying to embarrass you. Why do you think that?”

“Because you want me to talk dirty to you, you want to f**k me in public, you want to drag me kicking and screaming outside my comfort zone and you want to laugh at me while you do it. I don’t like that.”

“First of all, Grace, take a nice deep breath and then sit down, lean back on your couch or the pillows on your bed, and relax for a moment. Can you do that?”

She groans on the other end of the phone. “Fine, I’m sitting on my couch, completely relaxed.”

I smile as I picture her all tensed up. She’s probably pacing. “Take a deep breath, I said.”

She inhales deeply, holds for a moment, then lets it out in a long, slow stream.

“OK, now listen to me. I am not laughing at you at all. I’m enjoying you. You make me smile, OK? You make me laugh, yes, but in all the right ways. You bring me… joy. Do you see the difference? I’m not trying to embarrass you. I’m trying to stimulate you.”

“But why does that have to be in front of the whole world?”

I sigh and narrow my eyes as I try and work through what she’s saying. “I’m surprised at this direction you’re going, to be honest. I mean, look at it from my perspective, Grace. You’ve been online for years. Years! Typing out every dirty sexual fantasy about me in public. You do understand that, right? Or have you deluded yourself into thinking no one is watching what you’re doing? Maybe you think this is just a friendly chat with a few friends, but that’s not the case, Kinsella. Your Dirty Heaven thing is quite big. In fact, on Saturday nights, you are a Twitter star. So how can you blame me for assuming that you have a fetish for exhibitionism?”

She’s silent on the other end.

“Am I right? Or did I totally miss the boat on this? Because I just assumed, after reading that tweet in the bar, that we were into the same thing.”

“So you do like public sex!” She says this like it’s a gotcha moment and I practically throw up my hands.

“Grace, how could you be my online stalker for years and not realize that? I admit, it’s reading between the lines, but there are so many lines to read between. Every few months there’s a report about my deviant behavior. Don’t you read Buzz Hollywood?”

“I do, but—”

“But you assumed they were lying?”

“Well, yes. Of course. I mean, I’m not naïve, I figured the NDA was legit. But I just always gave you the benefit of the doubt.”

I am silent. I’m seriously without words. “You… did?”

“Of course, Vaughn. I had you wrapped up in this tight fantasy bubble. You were like, my prince. You were the perfect man. And I know that’s not real. I understand you’re a human being, but…”

She trails off and I’m not sure I can fill in the silence, so I don’t even try. I let it hang there. We let it hang there.

“Are you still there?” she asks.

“Yes,” I breathe out. “Just thinking.”

“About how stupid and pathetic I am?”

“No, Grace. That’s not what I’m thinking. I’m thinking… it’s been a long time since someone was so honest with me.”

It’s her turn to be silent now.

“Grace?”

“I’m still here.”

“Tell me, truthfully, if you don’t mind. Why don’t you have a boyfriend? Why do you waste your Saturday nights on me?”

“Why not you? I mean, you’re hot. And you’re so easy.” She giggles. “I mean, you have such a long public history, you know? I can do a search and somewhere, someone has an answer to my questions about you. I like that. And your pictures are everywhere, so I can make cute graphics with comment bubbles over your head.”