Fellow Troikans will have to perform a miracle to reach us—but even still, they won’t succeed in time. The circle is simply too thick, every ML peering at us with murderous glee.

    Unacceptable! I will not fail my precious granddaughter.

    When I notice a soldier aiming a gun at Ten, a scream leaves me unbidden, and I jump in front of her.

    Boom!

    A bullet cuts through my chest. I crash-land, and I’m quickly hit with three daggers. Agonizing pain rips through me, a wrecking ball to my calm. I’m utterly consumed, barely able to breathe. My veins fill with poison. A special concoction Myriadians use to dull Light.

    Ten shouts in denial, leaping in front of me in an effort to protect me.

    No, sweet girl. No. I open my mouth to voice my protest, to tell her to run...to run and never look back, but only a whimper escapes me.

    To my horror, an arrow embeds in her shoulder. Even still, my brave girl continues to fight.

    The boy behind her goes low, severing her Achilles tendons without her seeing. With a grunt, she falls. She loses her grip on her swords.

    Shadows...shadows all around her, cast by the swarm of MLs.

    As a Troikan—as a Conduit—she needs Light if she’s going to survive this. I have to give her Light...where is Light...there’s no Light here...

    I gasp as the answer strikes me. There is Light...it’s just trapped inside me.

    I can give it to her—through Torchlight. In doing so, I’ll die, and there will be nothing left of me to save. But that’s okay. I’ve lived a good life. Now she can live hers.

    My body jolts once, twice, a third time, and the poison surges through my veins with renewed strength. I’m running out of time...she’s running out of time...

    Soon I won’t have any Light to give.

    Resolved, I turn my head. My gaze connects with hers. Her eyes—those lovely mismatched eyes—are filled with pain, guilt and remorse. I want to tell her goodbye. This is it. The end. I want to tell her this isn’t her fault. My decision, my consequences. I’ve heard her say those words. She’ll understand. I want to tell her I’m sorry. I’m sorry I won’t get to spend more time with her. I’m sorry I couldn’t get her out of this mess. I’m sorry I’m going to miss the amazing life she’s going to lead. I’m sorry I won’t be there to see the boy she marries, the family she raises. I’m sorry...

    But the only word that leaves me is, “Live.”

    Live well, my Ten. Live well.

    I close my eyes and send my conscious mind along the Grid, gathering every ray of Light I’ve stored and hidden in case of an emergency. I draw the Light up, up until every ray bumps against the undersurface of my skin. Warmth bathes me. Such beautiful warmth.

    More Light. Too hot now. I’m burning up.

    Still more. The rays...there are too many, and they’re too strong. I’m not a Conduit, and my body isn’t equipped to handle such a massive upwelling. Any second now, I’m going to—

    I gasp.

    I’m Ten once again, the Exchange over, and I’m crying. I’m crying so hard my nose is running, my chest heaving. I choke on a sob.

    The Secondking’s grip keeps me upright. He squeezes my hands. “She loved you, and my hope is that you will heed her desire to live well, Ten. Live well.”

    chapter fifteen

* * *

    “You can’t fight fire with fire. You must fight fire with water.”

    —Troika

    The next morning, a memorial service is held in Meredith’s honor. The courtyard of the Temple of Temples fills with people. I’d rather mourn alone, but Levi tells me attendance is part of my training, so I go. At my side, Hazel squeezes my hand and sobs. Steven reaches up to wipe away the tear tracks on his cheek.

    Behind me, Kayla snot-cries.

    “This is my fault,” she says between sniffles.

    She blames herself, not me? What a pair we make.

    Grief is a fire in my chest, burning and agonizing me. Sorrow is a bitter pill lodged in the back of my throat. My already broken heart is torn in two once again, one half in the Rest with Meredith. But I have my memories of her I will forever cherish. She loved me all the days of my life. She fought for me, and believed in me.

    For her, I will live. I will live well.

    I put my emotions on lockdown and stand back, watching the congregation. Surprisingly the other newbies are here. Raanan, Fatima, Winifred, Nico, Hoshi, Rebel, Sawyer and Clementine. If they’d spent any time with Meredith, I wasn’t aware of it.

    Or maybe they’re here to support me? They take turns hugging me. Raanan even says, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

    I’m touched, I really am, and it threatens to raze my defenses, but I somehow find the strength to remain stoic. I won’t break down. Not here, not now.

    Meredith touched so many lives, but most of the crowd laughs as funny stories are shared about her.

    Death ends a life, but it doesn’t end a love.

    Mightier than a sword

    Eager to bless those around her

    Radiant, a Light for the world

    Eternally loving and loved

    Devoted to the end, she

    Illuminated my life

    Thankful, humble, true

    Hopeful till the end...

    After the service, after my training session, I spend a few hours in the Museum of Wisdom, searching for information about cyphers: secret or disguised ways of writing; codes. To put a message into secret writing; to encode. I look up each specific number branded in my arm...to no avail.