Hell no.

It was my first adventure out of the hospital or the house in nearly two weeks, and I was going to make damn sure I made it last.

I looked at him and said, “Hey, while we’re here, there are a few things I need to pick up.”

He turned to me. “Just give me a list; I’ll pick them up for you later.”

“But, we’re already here,” I argued.

He sighed. “I need to get you back to bed.”

My jaw clenched. He was being difficult, and I was going to get my taste of freedom. I stared at him, our eyes locked in some silent battle.

“Put me down.”

“Lila…”

“Put me the f**k down!”

He glared at me and took a deep breath. “You can’t even stand.”

“Fine, there’s a motorized cart at the door; I saw it when we walked in.”

Another silent argument with our eyes ensued before he relented with a huff. We were headed toward the door again, but just before, he detoured to the cart that was stationed there, plugged into the wall.

He sat me down, grumbling about needing to get me home. I’d been home for a week now; it wasn’t going anywhere.

As soon as I was on the seat, my casted leg extended, I was off.

I raced away from my captor like a bat out of hell…or like a crippled lady on a scooter, but it was the imagery that counted. It took him two strides to catch up. After all, I was racing at about three miles per hour.

I started out aisle by aisle, adding things to the cart. I didn’t even know or care what was going in, but I sure as hell was having fun.

Nathan wasn’t. He was pissed, still limping by my side. The way he was hovering around me made him look like a Jack the Ripper stalking his next victim and less like a frustrated boyfriend with a disobedient girlfriend on wheels. Everyone who was in an aisle we were in would give him a rather large berth. They could tell he was a man who was having difficulties controlling his anger.

What I saw was a man who needed a nice long blow job to get all the tension out, but he’d have to deal with it. He could chase me around, cursing under his breath; it added to the freakish, hot sensuality he was exuding in that moment. That “I’m going to spank your ass red so you can never sit in a scooter again” vibe that was exciting me, but could not override my freedom fun.

He was furious, fists clenched at his side, and I could tell he wanted an outlet. It was amusing to play with him, so I laid it on thicker, smiling and waving at him like I was on parade. He growled. My smile turned to a glare. Spoilsport.

Almost everything I threw into the cart, Nathan pulled back out, arguing it wasn’t something I needed.

I even tried tampons, but he grabbed the box and put it back on the shelf, reminding me I was on the shot and didn’t have periods.

Damn him for remembering.

He continued to chase me around the store, reaching into the basket and plucking items back out. I would slap his hands, glaring up at him, but he just glared back. He was spoiling my fun. Then again, it was a fun game to have him chasing me…not that I’d tell him.

It was difficult not to smile and laugh at my newfound freedom as I zipped around. My hair was blowing in the breeze, and I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrors near the ceiling. The image I portrayed could only be considered one of a mad woman, and in my giddy state that was almost how I felt.

After almost an hour, a very irate Nathan and I exited with two bags full of who knows what.

Nathan was fuming as he placed me back into the car, and I tried to mirror his look, but was unsuccessful. He maneuvered around the outside of the car.

“Party pooper. No blow job or party favors for you,” I said under my breath, giggling afterward. I followed him with my eyes, still pretending to glare at him. He needed to lighten up. Maybe I should have taken him for a spin on my lap around the store a few times on the fabulous freedom scooter? I stifled a roar of laughter at the thought.

God, I was losing it.

He slammed the driver’s side door upon entering, not happy with how our excursion had gone. He was angry, and I couldn’t keep the smile from my face, try as I might.

Then I couldn’t keep my humor of the situation at bay.

Laughter, full and deep, sprung from me. My body shook from the force, despite the pain.

Nathan turned to look at me as if I’d gone mad. The more he watched me though, the more it began to dawn on him.

“You did that on purpose?” he asked through clenched teeth.

I couldn’t speak; the giggles took full control, so I nodded. Nathan looked appalled, but my state became contagious and he joined in.

“You little…” he trailed off. “I can’t believe you!”

“Freedom!” I cried out, my fist pumping in the air.

He smiled and shook his head, backing out of the space and heading home.

Score one point for Honeybear, and none for Jack the Ripper. Victory was sweet.

It was later that night as we were snuggled into bed, watching a movie, when Nathan’s hand reached out to cup my face, his eyes beseeching. “Lila, I…I’ll do anything to have you trust me again.”

“Where did that come from?” I angled my head back to get a better look at him. Maybe my lunacy was spreading…

He sighed and tugged at the back of his neck. “I had a session with Darren, and I don’t need him to tell me what to promise you. You already know, but I’m going to tell you until you believe it. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

My eyes went wide in shock. More than Grace and his baby? How could that be? That was a huge thing to say. And I…believed him.

“I have a reason to live again – you. I want us to be together from now on. Live together, have holidays and birthdays together. Hell, I’ll go wherever you want me to go and do whatever you want, but I need you to trust and believe me first before we can – ”

In a flash, my arms were around his neck, pulling him to me.

He was my whole world. He had been since that first night.

I was still wary, but with what he had admitted, how could I not try? Couldn’t I try to let him in again, try to trust him? Could we start fresh, from the beginning?

I released him and lay back down, snuggling into my pillow. “Do you… You say you love me. Do you love me more than her? Really?”

His eyes widened in fear before softening. “Yes.”