Her lips curl into a grin. “Good for you, suing Farnsworth. After you called and told me what happened, I wondered if you would. Someone needs to take that puffed up jackass down a peg.” Then her smile fades. “But you do realize he’ll pull out all the stops. A sexual harassment lawsuit could destroy his reputation and dent his humongous ego. He’ll come at you with both guns firing.”

“I know. I thought about it for a long time, but in the end, I couldn’t just walk away. What if he does it to someone else? How could I live with myself? Men like him get away with harassment all the time, and the more they do, the cockier they become. I couldn’t let it happen. I want him to pay for what he did to me. I’ll run it until I can’t run it anymore, and I’ll make his life damned uncomfortable while I do.”

She drops her jacket on the chair. “Then you’ll definitely need me.”

“But how will you live? Your rent, your car…”

“Secret.” Penny retrieves her CV and tucks it into her bag.

“Secret?”

“That’s right. Secret. Everyone has a secret. My secret enables me to pick and choose my jobs regardless of salary. Except for the boring, stuffy, corporate decor, I like it here. Now, where should I hang my coat?”

Three hours later, Penny has the office rearranged, organized, and dusted. I have lunch on my desk, fresh coffee in my cup, and a long list of supplies that are apparently essential for the smooth functioning of a legal practice.

Penny sips her tea and tries to convince me to ditch my new AW logo because the AW AW AW screensaver on her computer makes her feel pathetic. When I refuse to capitulate, she suggests changing my new gray and navy embossed stationery for something funky with bold colors and fancy designs. Then she tries to get me to change the name of the firm from Amanda Westwood, Attorney at Law to Westwood and Sons, despite the fact I have no sons and, given the abysmal state of my sex life, no prospect of ever having sons in the future.

I tell her I know how to project a corporate image and this is it. She tells me I need to step out of the Farnsworth & Tillman shadow and get a life. Our stalemate lasts a whole three seconds before she sucks in a warning breath and whispers, “Courier.”

Ten minutes later, we stand in front of my desk and stare at the large cardboard box with the words “Do Not Open Until Instructed” written in bold black letters across the top.

Penny runs her finger over the letters. “I think you should open it.”

“It says ‘Do Not Open.’”

“You don’t always have to follow the rules.” She rolls her eyes. “And I can’t stand the suspense. We don’t even know who it’s from.”

Biting my lip, I tap the box. So tempting. But I have strength. I have willpower. Amanda Westwood does not succumb to temptation. “Go get the scissors.”

But before Penny reaches her desk, my cell phone buzzes and Jake’s name flashes on my screen. I had forgotten we traded numbers after I’d agreed to rent the house from him.

Something in my face alerts Penny to the personal nature of the text and she gives me a wink and discretely makes her way out of the office.

Did u get my present?

If u mean big box with “Do Not Open,” then yes

Did u open it?

What do u think?

Things I think shdn’t be texted

Can I open it?

No

Why?

Want you to suffer

Seems to happen every time we’re together

???

Now can I open box?

No. Want to hear more about suffering

Didn’t know u were a sadist

Didn’t know u were afraid to talk to me

Didn’t know u had a girlfriend

**frowns** No girlfriend

Sia

Friend. Not girlfriend

Does she know that?

She wants that

What do u want?

Want u to open box.

It doesn’t take me long to cut open the box. Laughter makes my hands shake and for a moment I can’t text. Instead, I pull the midsize microwave out of its packaging and place it on the credenza. But when I open the microwave door, my laughter fades into something warm and fuzzy that makes my heart squeeze. The note inside reads, “Eating is important.”

The insistent buzz of my phone tears me away.

Office warming present. You like?

Very sweet and thoughtful, but there is a kitchen here

I know u won’t use it and I like my girls with curves

What girls?

U

U like my curves?

Thought about ur curves all night

I like pressie. Tx

How tx?

????

Sext tx

U want me 2 sext u 2 tx u?

**winks**

Respectable attorneys don’t sext

Naughty Amandas do sext

How about a selfie?

Depends what part of self is in selfie

Bad Jake

You can’t imagine

Cheeky. Although I’m not about to compromise my professional career with naughty sexts, I can send him something. After a fresh swipe of lipstick, I kiss a piece of paper, take a quick picture and Instagram my lips. After an interminably long silence, my phone buzzes.

More

***

Later that afternoon, after Penny drags me through the long supply list, I am shocked into speechlessness when Sandy breezes in looking exquisite in camel pants, a white silk blouse, and a cashmere shawl.

“She’s carrying a $10,000 handbag.” Penny’s eyes widen.

“She’s wearing $2,000 shoes.”