“Jace, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I don’t know why, and I hate that. But I’m sorry, and I just want to hold you until you feel better.”

Closing my eyes, I feel my lip start to wobble as I cuddle into him. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said sternly, his arms swallowing me up.

Relaxing against him, I nod. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Just relax.”

“No, really, I’m sorry,” I say as my heart continues to pound in my chest. “I’m all kinds of messed up.”

He shakes his head, though. “Just be quiet. Calm down, your heart is pounding so hard, it’s hurting my chest.”

I press my lips together as a tear rolls down my cheek and off my chin. I feel him tense up, but I can’t stop. And soon the tears are falling in streams down my face, but he just holds me tighter, his lips in my hair. Closing my eyes tightly, I hate that I’ve done this. That I’m weak and pathetic.

“I’m really sorry,” he whispers, and it kills me.

“You did nothing wrong.”

“I should have listened.”

“No, it’s my fault. I have this thing about the lights,” I say as I suck in a breath.

“I know, and I didn’t respect that. I’m sorry.”

“Please stop saying that,” I beg and his arms come tighter around me, his lips at my brow.

“I can’t help it. I just don’t want to lose you,” he whispers, and everything inside me stops. I’ve wanted someone to say that to me my whole life, and he just did. But I can’t enjoy it like I want to because I’ve fucked this all up. I have to let this go. I have to before I have an anxiety attack and then really let my freak flag fly. I think he feels that I am about to lose it, because his arms gather me closer, his forehead coming to mine as his breath mixes with mine.

I can taste the beer he drank, but that doesn’t intoxicate me. No, it’s the way his words are vibrating off him in waves. I can feel them deep inside me, all around me, and I love them. Soon, I hear nothing but the sound of my heart as it slows in my chest. I feel safe in his arms, and my anxiety is gone; guilt replacing it. I shouldn’t have freaked out like this, and most of all, he shouldn’t feel like it’s his fault. I need to get it together.

And quick.

Before I lose him.

Sucking in another deep breath, I open my eyes to find him watching me, his thumb moving up and down my arm. “You okay?” he asks gently.

I nod. “Fine. I’m really sorry. Kind of freaked there.

He shakes his head. “It’s fine. I got you.”

He presses his lips against my nose before he lets me go to remove the condom, throwing it in the trash. When he comes back, I haven’t moved because I’m still reeling from what he just said.

He’s got me.

Wow.

Okay.

Before I can say anything or even move, he’s wrapping me back up in his arms. Holding on to him, I press my head to his chest and listen to his heartbeat as I really think over what he just said. This guy, this man, took my crazy and went with it. He may ask questions, but he is more concerned with how I feel than satisfying his curiosity. He’s got me. Meanwhile, I’m over here, holding back on him.

How is that fair?

“Jace?”

“Yeah?”

“What were you going to ask me at the bar?”

I feel him smile as his lips move along my cheek. “Wait till tomorrow, when I’m not so drunk.”

“I want to know now.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long minute and I think he’s fallen asleep, but then he whispers, “I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend. I don’t want to wait anymore, and if you reject me, then I’ll deal.”

I knew that was it, which is why I asked now. “Really?”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about that. We’re good.”

“No,” I say, pulling back to look at him. “Ask me.”

“What?” His eyes are full of disorientation, and I can feel his heart beating harder in his chest.

“Ask me to be your girlfriend.”

Eyeing me, he looks uncertain as he asks, “What are you going to say?”

“Ask and find out,” I challenge and his grin only grows.

“Don’t reject me.”

Shaking my head, I lean my head to his chin. “Just ask me.”

Reaching up, he takes my face in his hands before tilting it up to look at me. He chews on his lip, his eyes searching mine as I wait. My heart has stopped, my next breath is nowhere to be found, and I can’t wait much longer.

Thankfully, I don’t have to before he whispers, “Avery Rose, will you be my girlfriend? Leave the Javery zone behind and be mine?”

As I cup his jaw, there is only one word I can say to him.

I feel it, deep in my soul, and I know that it is true.

“Yes.”

Ugh. Why?

How is it already four in the morning?

Fuck me.

My head is pounding.

I feel like I’m going to blow chunks, and I have to go serve coffee.

But I’d much rather stay here with her.

Damn it.

Nuzzling closer to Avery, I take in a deep inhale, the smell of her shampoo making me smile as my arms come around her waist, bringing her closer. Tucking her hands up underneath my chin, she murmurs something unintelligible and I just feel…complete. Whole, even. This girl, man…she really has me in all kinds of ways. I’m completely taken by her, and after last night, I know I should be ecstatic and feel on top of the world.

But I can’t.

Not fully.

Mostly because I’m unsure about it all. I want to believe she was ready, that she wants this. But deep in my gut, I’m worried. Did she did just say that because of what happened when we were getting down? And what was that about? I don’t understand her issues with the lights being on, but it would be great if she could let me in on that. I mean, I know I need to respect her wishes, and I will—that’s not the problem. I just wish I knew why.

I feel like everything is up in the air because of it, and it’s fucking with me.

Add in the fact I’m hungover and got no sleep last night, and I’m pretty sure today is going to suck.

Which is bad because it’s the practice before our game and Coach won’t go easy on us. Tomorrow’s skate will be laid-back, but today, he’ll be drilling us. I kind of regret taking this job at the coffee shop. Maybe I should just chill and let my dad do everything. I mean, it could be so easy. Don’t I, as a nineteen-year-old, get that right? I’m still a kid, aren’t I? Shit, but I know that isn’t right. If I want to be a man like my brothers, I have to follow in their footsteps. They worked for what they wanted. Well, Jude really didn’t have to, but he is now. Shit, that reminds me. I gotta call Jude and Jayden.