Sam. It was a gasp of pleasant surprise; it felt good to him already.

Hungry for more of that force, my body drew in more and more. I felt Jared’s hands tighten on my fingers and then his forehead was suddenly pressed against mine. I opened my eyes to find that his own were closed. I could feel what he was feeling; that he was outside of reality, that he was at peace, that nothing else mattered but this moment. Well he was certainly enjoying himself.

It was as my body began to grow desperate for more of his energy that I knew I had to stop – it was like heading toward a cliff at high speed, knowing that if you stopped now you’d be okay but if you kept upping that speed... “Stop.”

I tried to pull my hands away but Jared held them even tighter. “No, don’t stop.”

“I have to.” But his hold was unyielding. “Jared, you have to let go.” But he didn’t, he wasn’t even having some sort of inner struggle about whether to release my hands or not. He was completely caught up in the feeling. I thought about butting him but in his state of bliss the pain wouldn’t even register.

Jared!?!

If he didn’t let go of my hands now I’d fall off that cliff.

An idea came to mind; something that was sure to snap him out of it. I kissed him. A firm, greedy kiss. His eyelids shot open and, sure enough, he kissed me back. His hands instantly went to my face and held it to his as if he was expecting me to pull away any second now. I should pull away. But that was easier thought about than done. That blast of heat that I’d felt last time circulated through me again.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying his tongue exploring the crevice of my mouth, or if I said that my hands were clutching the skin of his back of their own accord. Just like I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wanted him since first meeting him, or that him being misogynistic had made me want him any less. That was why when he dragged me onto his lap, his lips still mashed with mine, I curled my legs around his waist instead of pulling away. He grinded me against his erection, groaning, as he intensified the kiss ten-fold; it was raw and primal and drugging. Then he was skating his hands over me, kneading my br**sts and clutching my arse, and then he was plucking my ni**les with his teeth.

Suddenly my head hit a hard surface and there was a strong smell of earth. Jared released my mouth and looked around us just as I did. Then he laughed.

“Why are we in the arena?” I asked, spooked.

“You must have teleported us here.”

“Say again?”

“When you took some of my energy you must have absorbed a little of my power.”

“But I didn’t try to teleport us. I certainly wasn’t thinking about the arena.” Thank God it was empty of people.

“It can be a little temperamental until you get used to it. The arena’s been on your mind the past couple of days, right? So here we are.”

Yes, here we were; bodies pressed together, my legs tangled around his waist, hearts hammering away.

“Um...” I had no idea what to say. Whatever Jared saw on my face made him release an aggravated sigh and move from above me. I, too, stood, and as we stared at each other wearing dubious expressions it made me think of last night after we had broke away from each other.

“I know you only kissed me because you couldn’t get through to me before. I know that. But you didn’t stop, Sam. You could have, because sure enough the kiss served its purpose. Not only did you not stop, but you got that carried away that you teleported us without trying to. So I’m thinking maybe you want me a lot more than what you’re letting on.”

I honestly didn’t know what he wanted from me. Yeah, a shag. But I didn’t get why a shag was all so important. “Jared, why are you pushing this? What is it you want to hear?”

“I just need to understand why you pull away from me.”

Oh – he’s not used to rejection. The idea of someone not wanting him was just incomprehensible to him. Blokes and their egos!

“I know you said that you find me having three consorts a bit weird...But, I mean, what is it that you’re saying exactly? Is it that you want me to get rid of them? That you want to be my only consort? That you want more from me than just sex? What?”

I held up my index finger. “Alright, first of all, I’ll never be anyone’s consort ever again in my life. I thought I made that clear. And I don’t want some fairytale relationship; I couldn’t give that much of myself anyway when I’ve only just got me back.”

“I don’t want a relationship either, so what’s the problem?”

“Jared, I can’t sleep with someone who sees women as possessions. I’ve been doing that for the past three years.”

“I see women as possessions?”

“You have three constantly tucked in a little apartment awaiting your pleasure.”

He sighed and shook his head, still confused. “So...you’re saying that you ignore that you want me because I’ve got consorts? So then you do want me to get rid of them.”

“You’re not listening to me. You see women as possessions – that is the problem.”

He started pacing in front of me. “Why are you being so judgemental about this? I’m not the only one who has consorts. Antonio has them, do you judge him?”

“Antonio isn’t asking me to sleep with him.”

“Half the Commanders have them, most of the security guards have them.”

“Yeah, and a lot of them don’t. Sebastian doesn’t either. Your brother doesn’t.”

He halted his pacing and his irises glowed red. “Whoa, wait a minute, what does my brother have to do with this?”

“I’m just saying -”

“Comparing me to my brother? Who’s scoring the most points so far?”

“Oh don’t be a dick.”

He glared at me for a minute like he was studying me, like he was trying to see through me. And then a smile – it wasn’t a nice one – crept onto his face. “Know what I think, Sam?” He walked toward me stealthily, his eyes narrowed. “I think it’s just been that long for you since your body and your mind responded to someone without any manipulating involved from anybody else that you don’t know what to do. It scares the hell out of you, doesn’t it?”

He was right up close to me now. I’d never seen him angry before. He was unnerving, to be truthful. At the same time as wanting to reach out and calm him, I also wanted to slap him for making me see something about myself that I hadn’t really wanted to see. I was – human years and vampire years added together – twenty-three years old...and I didn’t know how to handle something as basic as desire anymore.

“Maybe,” I allowed. It didn’t seem worth denying it. “Can you honestly blame me for that? Can you blame me for not wanting to feel like someone’s possession anymore? Every single time he touched me I felt sick, dirty, and sometimes I wanted to die. So excuse me if I don’t want to sleep with someone who sees women as nothing but sexual outlets just the same way that he did!”

Jared pointed hard at me and spoke through his teeth. “Hey, I am nothing like him. Don’t ever compare me to him again, or to my brother. I’ll tell you what, Sam” – he said my name with animosity – “I’ll make things easy for you: right now is the last time we’ll ever talk about this. I’ll never come onto you ever again. The bet’s off. You can just get on with your celibate lifestyle and I’ll get on with shagging my sexual outlets.”

He then teleported away, leaving me alone with thoughts that I didn’t want at the forefront of my mind and feelings that I didn’t want to feel. If I – a vampire, a creature that was naturally sensual – couldn’t even cope with desire then I was basically broken, wasn’t I? I hated Victor so much right now. And Jared. Actually, no, I didn’t hate him. I hated that he was so infuriated with me. I hated that he was somewhere thinking bad of me. I hated that I’d hurt him. How could I have compared him to Victor? I hadn’t been comparing him to Evan, or at least not in the way that he was thinking; I wasn’t weighing up who was the better brother to be with. I didn’t want to be with either of them. I honestly just wanted to belong only to myself and not have to be concerned with pleasing other people.

Well, I got what I wanted. So why didn’t it feel as liberating and comforting as it should?

Chapter Six

(Jared)

I hadn’t at all been kidding when I told Sam to go enjoy her celibate life while I went to screw one of my possessions. That’s exactly what I was about to do right now.

I watched as Joy writhed and arched underneath me, moaning and begging me to come inside her. She looked beautiful when she was like this. She had no problem with losing all self-control. She was eager when it came to experimenting. She said – moaned – all the right words. She knew exactly what I liked and exactly how I liked it, and she did it without even being asked to. All of that made her my favourite of the three.

But that wasn’t why it was her who was underneath me. I wanted her because right now – even though I hated myself for feeling it – I wanted to hurt Sam, and I knew she really disliked Joy ‘the twig’. It didn’t make sense that I’d do this considering that I wasn’t exactly going to tell Sam about it. I guess all I was really trying to do was make myself feel better.

Yeah that wasn’t working too well.

Because as much as Joy was beautiful and seemed to have this innate gift for sex, she wasn’t Sam. With that thought my hands halted at the snap of my jeans. My heavy sigh made a slight whistle as it got past gritted teeth.

“What is it?” asked Joy in a whiny voice, looking up at me with a sulky expression.

“Nothing.”

“Well it must be something, you’ve just stopped.”

“I’m just a little worn out, that’s all.” I was drained. Sam had taken a fair bit of my energy in more ways than one.

“Okay well lay on your back and I’ll ride you. I’ll even do the reverse cowgirl if you want.” Her grin was seductive. “We haven’t done that in a while.”

Not a bad idea, actually. Then I wouldn’t have to look at her. Every time I looked at her face, I was just reminded that hers wasn’t the face that I wanted to see. There didn’t seem any sense in cutting short sex with someone just because you were thinking about someone else who you’ll never have like this anyway, but all I wanted to do was leave. Then an idea popped into my head; totally immoral and unethical but appealing all the same. I could ask Joy to do the thing I loved most out of all the things she could do...I could ask her to use her gift of Physical Imitation.

Plenty of times she had morphed into someone else for me. She’d do it now, no questions asked. Sam could be underneath me just like that. Then maybe all this frustration would go away. Maybe half my problem was that I was just too curious about what it would be like with her. Maybe if I got that curiosity cured I’d be alright again.

The thought left my mind pretty much as fast as it came. Having Joy transfigure was always fun; what guy wouldn’t want to sometimes have Jennifer Aniston or Cameron Diaz suddenly underneath them? But in this instance it just wouldn’t work. I didn’t just want Sam’s body. I wanted her – her mind, her blood, her voice, her scent...everything. The whole package. Not in the sense of having a relationship, but in the sense that I wanted all of her to belong to me and only me while she was with me. Joy could look like her but she’d never be her. Whether I liked it or not, it wasn’t just curiosity that made me want Sam. I hated both her and me for that.

So I sighed and did the only thing I could really do: I left Joy on the bed gawping while I grabbed my clothes and, without a word, teleported to the bathroom of my apartment. A cold shower had a way of making me less stressed. I did feel better after it. Less frustrated, less dreary.

Deciding that seen as I was going to dreamland soon there was little point in picking out an energising drink, I retrieved two Lager flavoured NSTs. The first barely touched the sides as it went down my oesophagus. I was a little more civilised with the second, taking little swigs as I passed the kitchen on the way to the living area. That was when I felt it. That tug in my stomach. Every one of my senses seemed to be having a sing and a dance. My senses led me to the balcony. I didn’t open the doors, but I looked down to see what I expected to see: her. She was in the pool. Fully clothed? As she rested against one of the walls of the pool she was glaring up at the moon as though it might answer a question that she wished she didn’t have.

I didn’t go out onto the balcony. I didn’t want her to sense me watching her like she did last time. Besides, I meant what I’d said...I’d never come onto her ever again.

Sucking in a long breath, I started to move away from the window. But then a vision of something snagged my full attention and I wanted to punch that something’s lights out. Slap-head.

(Sam)

Why couldn’t I have just said a big resounding no when Jared had asked for me to feed off his energy? Then I wouldn’t be in this mess at all. I wouldn’t have kissed him again, I wouldn’t have teleported us both to the training arena so we would never have had a big blow out, and he wouldn’t hate me. Amazing how one little decision could have such an effect.

Right now, I really wasn’t impressed. I’d been in my apartment totally brassed off and thinking that I just needed to cool off, and the next thing I found myself at the bottom of the pool! Damn this teleporting shit. I didn’t bother getting out. I’d wanted to have a dip in the pool the minute I saw it. Only problem was that when I thought of the first time I saw it, I remembered how Jared had been swimming in it.