“What’s your name?” the one nearest me asked.

“Katy.” It was the first name that popped into my head, and I immediately kicked myself mentally for using it. Chances were these guys would make it out of here and I wouldn’t; I just hoped they were getting a good look at me now and wouldn’t mistake me for the real Katy later if they ever found their way to her ranch.

“Katy … where are you and this guy from?” asked the one with the gun. His suspicion was coming off him in waves. “He’s German, right?” Something about the way he said that made alarm bells ring like mad in my head. If they’d heard about the ball-biter, they’d probably heard about the goofy German kid too.

“German? Heck no. He’s from Lithuania.”

Again. Information coming from my butt. I didn’t even know where Lithuania was on a map. Is it near Greece? Hungary? Italy? Africa?

“Where the hell is that?” asked one of the guys, his face all screwed up in confusion. “Is that even a real place?”

“Of course it is,” said Bodo, sounding disgusted. “Lithuania iss next to Poland. You’ve heard of Poland, I hope.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard of it. It’s were all the polacks come from,” said the small guy, laughing at his own joke.

“No, it’s not. It’s where da Polish are from. Don’t be ignorant.”

I nearly crossed my eyes at Bodo’s stupid comment. Here I was playing Airhead Barbie to save our asses, and he was egging them on.

“I’m not ignorant just because I call a dumbass like you a polack, you fucking polack.” The little guy moved forward very aggressively. I could picture a kick to the face coming very soon on Bodo’s horizon.

I coughed a few times fluttering my hands in front of my face to get their attention. I even jumped up and down a few times for good measure. If I had thought it would work, I would have done a cheerleading kick too. “Oh my god, do you guys have any water? I’m super thirsty. All there is around here is salt water. And bugs! Ew! Get away!” I continued batting the air like crazy.

“What are you even doing here?” asked the one with the gun trained on Bodo. “You didn’t just wander into the swamp.”

Thankfully the little canner stopped advancing on Bodo. I’d earned my boyfriend a temporary reprieve. I begged him in my mind to quit doing stupid stuff because I didn’t know how much longer I could keep this up. Being a space cadet was surely emptying my brain of much needed brain cells.

I jumped in to answer. “No, we didn’t wander in. No way. We were being held captive by those stupid indian kids. We just got out. We escaped.”

“Where were you?” asked one of them. “And why are you wearing moccasins if you’re not with them?”

“You like them?” I said, pasting the sunniest smile on my face possible. I moved my legs back and forth, twisting around to show them off as I looked down at my feet. “They give them to everyone they capture. It’s pretty nice, if you ask me. My other shoes really stunk. I hate smelly shoes, don’t you?” I looked back up at them, careful not to look at their disgusting feet, knowing they were probably spattered with gore. I imagined I could smell them from here.

“Where were you?” repeated the guy with the gun. His tone said he couldn’t give a rat’s ass about my cute boots. Hopefully he wouldn’t bother to check inside them, since I hoped to get close enough to use the blade I kept there.

“Back there, somewhere,” I said, gesturing with my thumb behind me. I knew there was nothing back there, or at least I hoped there wasn’t. I wouldn’t want them investigating my so-called prison and coming upon some of my friends.

I pointed to Bodo. “Billy there overpowered our guards and killed them and took their guns. That’s how we ended up here.”

“Then why were you shooting at us?” asked the little one.

“Because! Duh! How were we supposed to know you’re the good guys. You’re here hanging out with those people.” I let them think I had a thing against the kids in Kahayatle, praying they were prejudiced dipshits.

Four of the five didn’t disappoint, nodding their heads and looking at each other. But the one with the gun wasn’t buying it. I could tell by his expression.

“Sit down over there,” he said, waving the gun at a place just off to my right where a fallen log was placed for people to eat on.

I took a seat on the far side of it, tearing my gaze away from Bodo so I’d appear unconcerned and stupid. Only a complete idiot would feel safe in the company of these savages. I had to hope that their plan was to keep our meat fresh before they ate it later. From the looks of it, they’d already had dinner. I refused to look at the pile of refuse off to the side of the hut.

“What are we gonna do with them?” asked the small guy in a quiet voice. He apparently thought I was not only a complete bimbo, but also deaf as well. He seemed to be talking for everyone, because the rest of them looked to their leader for the answer.

“What we usually do with our captives,” he said, no emotion in his voice.

“Even the girl?” asked one of the larger ones. He kept looking over at me as he waited for his boss’s answer.

I could practically see him drooling. I gave him a shy smile, hoping to get him even more agitated. Just five seconds behind a tree, assmunch. That’s all I need.

The guy with the gun smiled, revealing dark yellow teeth. “Eventually. But we can have some fun first.”

Oh, you magnanimous fuckwad. You are so going to say goodbye to your nuts soon. He totally just granted these guys permission to rape me. Maybe Bodo too. How had they become so depraved?

All the guys smiled, high-fiving each other before turning to face me.

“Leaff her alone,” growled Bodo, acting like he was going to stand.

The guy with the gun put his foot in Bodo’s back and shoved him hard, sending him towards one of the dead bodies near the fire, where Bodo landed on his stomach. “Shut the hell up.” He gestured with his chin at one of his cohorts. “Tie this asshole up. We’ll let him watch before we … invite him to dinner.”

“Yeah, sure thing,” said the kid, reaching into a nearby duffle bag and coming out with some twine.

I watched as he made quick work of hog-tying Bodo, leaving him to lie on his side, facing me.

The others slowly walked towards the log where I was sitting, so I stood up, still doing the shy airhead thing. I had to keep it up as long as I could, until I could get an advantage and go for it.

“So what’s up, guys? Are we um … going to um … drink some water together or something?”

“Or something,” said the closest one in a menacing tone.

“Do you mean have sex? Because I just want to warn you that I’m on my period right now.” I gave them a chagrined expression. “Sorry. It’s kind of gross, I know. If you can wait a few days I’ll be okay again.” I smiled and nodded, as if I found the idea appealing. Could they really be so stupid to believe this act? Please let them be that stupid! My face started to tremble with the effort of holding my fake smile in place.

Two of them stopped walking upon hearing the news of my monthly business, but the other two weren’t dissuaded. “Don’t matter to me,” said one of them.

“Me neither,” said the other, shrugging his shoulders.

I held up my hands as I walked backwards, aiming myself down the path that led to the river. “Wouldn’t this be more fun if we were one-on-one? You could take turns, maybe? I really like having sex. I’ll make it really good for you.”

I had no idea if girls really talked like this, but it seemed to be working. They were slowing down and looking at each other, considering my offer.

We were out of range of the other guys now, and I was hoping they wouldn’t hear what I was saying. The one holding Bodo seemed much smarter than the others, and I wasn’t entirely sure he was buying my act. I just needed a few more minutes and a little more distance between us before I could start my plan: Operation Ball-Biter Death Patrol. I wasn’t going to be biting any testicles if I could help it, but I’d do pretty much anything else I needed to in order to put these a-holes out of their misery. Kowi could never get his life back, but I could get him the revenge he deserved.

I continued pulling sentences out of I don’t even want to know where, trying to tempt the canners into my love web. I’d never even seen a porno before, so my only experience was with Bodo, and that was nothing like what these monsters would be planning for me.

“Whatever you want, guys, it’s all good for me. On top, on bottom, on the side, upside down, diagonal, whatever.”

The guy closest to me frowned. “Upside down? What the hell are you talking about?”

“You know.” I smiled conspiratorially. “Upside down. Where you and I … never mind. How about if I just show you?” I reached out to take his hand, trying not to convulse in disgust at the feel of his skin on mine.

“Don’t do it! Katy!! Don’t do it!” Bodo’s voice came through the trees, and then the sound of him being beaten came too.

I swallowed hard, my resolve strengthening. I had to get these guys out of the picture before that canner killed Bodo. “Let’s just go behind this tree so we can have a little privacy.”

“I’ll just hang back right here,” said the second guy, stopping on the path. “Don’t use her all up, though. Better make sure there’s some left for me.”

“Oh, don’t worry!” I said, cheerfully; and I was finally cheerful now, too. I wasn’t faking it at all. “I’ll make sure to save you something very special. You’re going to be soooo surprised.”

I winked at his friend, and he smiled back with his nasty canner teeth. He had no idea he was smiling at my plan to kill the both of them by feeding them their nuts backwards.

***

The canner and I went behind a copse of trees. He made his move immediately, coming at me with hands out.

“I change my mind,” I said, fear creeping into my voice. I couldn’t help it. My plan to get him back here and take him out was still good, but the whole casual sexy rape thing was making me feel sick. Maybe I was the guilty one, luring him back here. Maybe he was a good guy who would never have done this otherwise. Could I live with myself if I killed an innocent boy in the swamp? No. I could not.

“You change your mind about what?” he asked, laughing cruelly.

“About having sex. I don’t want to do that. I don’t even know you.” I moved back another step.

“Shit, are you one of those nut jobs who thinks she’s back in high school or something? Wake up, bitch. Play time is over.”

He took two steps forward, closing the distance between us too much for my comfort.

“I know it’s not high school.” I stepped to the side. “But does that mean I don’t have a choice anymore? What about dating first? Could we do that? Maybe just you and me, we could go somewhere and get to know each other first.” It was the last thing I wanted to do with this creep - take a romantic walk under the trees - but I felt like I had to give him a chance. I didn’t want to maim him in cold blood - or worse.

“Fuck that. And stop walking away from me.” He reached over with a big step and grabbed my wrist, squeezing it hard enough to cause a bruise.

I tried to back way, stretching my arm out between us. “Aren’t you going to get undressed?” I tried to smile coyly, but the panic was rising up and choking me, making my smile more like a grimace of fear.

I could tell immediately that he liked that. My fear was feeding his attraction.

There was no hope for this monster. He had to be put down. My fear gave way to anger.

I widened my stance a little, hoping he’d keep coming but be distracted enough to give me a chance to clock him in the nuts.