My lips twitch, and then I scowl at Jay. “You’re fucking fired.”

* * *

Priority: Confidential

Bay Area Underground Fight Club (BUFC) Fight Night

Underground parking lot. 543 Marine Drive. 8 p.m.

Headlining: Fuzzy vs. Devastation

Also on the card: Petis Pois, Jackhammer Jones

Code Word: Cataclysm

“Are you going to the fight?” Jess’s nose wrinkles when the waitress serves my double cheeseburger tofu deluxe. We’ve found a new place for lunch only four blocks from Redemption. The Kosher Vegan Steak House boasts that even a meat lover won’t be able to tell the difference between their tofu burgers and the real McCoy, so I’m putting their claim to the test. So far, so bad.

“No.”

“Not even to see Tag?” Her voice rises in pitch, and I sense a guilt trip of epic proportions coming on. “He’s your brother. And look what happened the last time he fought. He needs our support.”

Nausea roils in my belly as I contemplate the food in front of me. This was a bad idea. I won’t be able to keep it down. And only this morning did I figure out why.

“I thought you were done with him. Again. Why don’t you go out with Rampage? He’s funny, nice, loves to gossip, but has good alpha, protective instincts. He’s also cute, has a good sense of humor, and can leap tall buildings in a single bound.”

Jess sighs. “I can’t go out with Rampage. He’s a friend. Plus, my dentist’s third cousin’s sister’s husband’s brother just broke up with his girlfriend. My dentist thought we’d be perfect for each other. I told her to go ahead and set up a blind date.”

“You look thrilled.”

She toys with her spoon. “How is Tag, by the way?”

“Tag never talks to me.” I push the burger toward Jess and lean back in my seat. “He’s totally consumed by this case he’s been working on. I thought it was bad before I was in the hospital, but now it’s ten times worse. He calls every few days, asks if I’m okay. I say yes. He says ‘good’ and hangs up. He doesn’t even come for Sunday dinner.”

“Are you going to eat that?” She points to the burger and I shake my head.

“I haven’t been able to eat anything except bread and crackers.”

Jess’s eyes narrow. “Not even potato chips?”

Emotion wells up in my chest. “Oh, Jess.” I reach into my purse and pull out the plastic bag with the pregnancy test I took this morning and shove it across the table. “I missed two pills and then I was in the hospital for the next few days and totally forgot.”

She stares at the little pink cross and then slaps her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God. What are you going to do?”

“I want this baby like I’ve never wanted anything before,” I say, my voice hoarse. “Twice in my life I thought I was going to die, and this was something that would never happen. This baby is a gift I never thought I’d have.”

Her eyes tear, and she reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. “I’ll be with you all the way. You’re like a sister to me and I’m going to be the best auntie ever. And you know your parents and Tag will be thrilled. But are you going to tell Ray?”

“I don’t know.” I crumple my napkin in my lap. “He doesn’t want to be with me, Jess. He thinks he destroys everything he loves and he thinks he failed me and that I’m safer without him because of what he does and who he is. And he’s right. I couldn’t go through that again. How do I know someone else from his past isn’t going to pop up and try to kill me? He couldn’t keep me safe. And he never told me the truth about who he is. I didn’t even know his last name.”

Jess purses her lips and huffs out a breath. “You’re my best friend and I love you like a sister, but you’re being crazy. You love him. He loves you. You’re having a baby together. Yes, he’s got a dangerous job. But so do a lot of guys. And of course you don’t want to go through that shit again. But guess what. You did go through it. Not once but twice. And you survived. You’re a survivor, not a victim. I watched you go through it before, and I’m watching you go through it now, and there’s a huge difference. And do you know why?”

Shocked by her impassioned speech, I just shake my head.

“The difference is that this time you had justice. You had closure. It was all there, out in the open for everyone to see. It wasn’t buried in the shadows, eating away at your soul.”

“You sure you’re just a vet’s assistant,” I say, “and not a psychologist in disguise?”

Jess just laughs. “I’m a best friend and I’m still in love with your brother and I hope one day I’ll be Auntie Jess for real.”

* * *

“Look at this place.” Jess grabs my arm as we push our way through the crowd in the underground parking lot of a derelict apartment building on Marine Drive. “I’ve never seen a BUFC so busy. Who is Devastation? He’s a real crowd-puller. Look! Even Torment is here.”

“That’s not a good sign.”

When I spot Amanda and Shayla in the crowd, I grab Jess’s hand and drag her toward them. “What’s going on?”

“Devastation broke his wrist,” Shayla says. “The organizers asked Fuzz if there was anyone else he wanted to fight, and he named the Predator.”

I look at her aghast. “He can’t fight the Predator. He’ll be slaughtered.”