Josiah leaned back into him as he stroked a hand up and down Mateo’s arm. “I wanted it. And as much as I wish we could live in this moment forever, we need to talk about what we’re going to do.”

Talk. Josiah was so much better at talking than either he or Mateo were. Still, he knew Josiah was right. As much as Tristan wanted to barricade them in this apartment and pretend the outside world didn’t exist, he couldn’t.

“Until I know what the fuck is going on, I don’t want either of you out alone.”

Tristan raised a brow at Mateo.

“Yeah, you, too.”

“Mateo,” Tristan said at the same time Josiah muttered, “Teo.”

Mateo already shook his head. “Give me this. I need to protect you. This is my past—”

“Not if–” Tristan started, but Mateo cut him off again.

“No, it’s my shit, no matter how you look at it. What you did doesn’t matter.”

“Yes. We’ll do it,” Josiah answered. Instead of arguing, Tristan picked up the sponge and started dripping water down Josiah’s chest, rubbing his upper body.

“Tris?” This from Mateo.

It went against everything Tristan believed in, everything he wanted to believe about himself, to nod, but he did it. They had to work together, had to be one, and he trusted Mateo. He had to sacrifice this need for Mateo, because Mateo was sacrificing for them as well.

“I gotta keep an ear out to see what I can find out. I won’t keep it to myself this time. I’ll tell you guys everything.”

“We’re looking for a new coffeehouse.” That was the one thing Tristan wouldn’t give on. “We’ll start as soon as possible. I’m not letting anyone take that away from us.” Really, it was all he had in a lot of ways. Not when it came to having his men, but something for him to work for, and put his energy in. Tristan needed that.

“What about the shit with the fire?” Mateo asked, and Josiah gave them details about his conversation with Ben.

“He’s right,” Tristan said. “I knew that all along. It’s my emotions that were getting involved.” Funny how they changed that piece of him. Before, he prided himself on not feeling anything. Now, he felt everything... For the first time, he thought maybe he wouldn’t change that.

“You didn’t do it. They have no evidence. They’re fishing.” If he was being honest with himself, Tristan would admit that it probably had something to do with Mateo as well. Sure, they had to question Josiah at first, but it probably stuck because they knew about his relationship with Mateo.

They were all quiet for a moment, Tristan sliding the sponge over Josiah’s body, Josiah sliding his fingers up and down Mateo’s arm.

“When I left the Wharf, the night of the fire, you said something in Spanish, Teo. What was it?”

“I love you, Josiah. We both do. Don’t do this.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” Josiah whispered.

“We should have opened up to you,” Tristan replied.

“We wouldn’t have done this before,” Josiah whispered. “Calmly spoke about all of this, I mean. We would have fought, or someone would have gotten upset. We wouldn’t have dealt with it head-on like this.”

That gave Tristan comfort, because Josiah was right, and the fact that they were able to do so now meant they were strengthening.

Individually, as well as together.

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

Mateo

“I never cooked a turkey before.” It wasn’t as if Mateo had cooked much of anything, but for some reason, this felt different. Helping with the turkey, and all the other things that went with a meal like Thanksgiving. It hadn’t been a holiday his dad gave a shit about. His mom sometimes tried, but he figured it got old being the only one trying to create a family.

Did Josiah ever feel that way, he wondered? Maybe that had been part of it as well. He tried so much harder to be happy than Tristan or Mateo did.

“Well, you’re making one now.” Rhonda touched his shoulder as she spoke. He liked that, feeling the connection.

“It smells good as hell.” He leaned against the counter. Josiah and Tristan were out on the balcony. Off and on, Josiah came in to help, but mostly he let Mateo handle it this time. It wasn’t that Mateo had ever enjoyed cooking, and they all know Josiah did, which meant Jay did it for him—because after everything they’d gone through recently, he must think it was important for Mateo to be around Rhonda.

He’d failed Josiah before, so this time he would be sure to trust his lead.