Mateo leaned against the building and closed his eyes. No, I’m not. I don’t want to be the man he is. But he would be if he had to. He would always do what had to be done. “You have my word,” Mateo told him, the words bitter on his tongue. He wanted to be better than this. He wanted to leave that life behind him.

His gut started to cramp. He felt something running down his hand, and jerked the phone from his ear, but nothing was there. No, that wasn’t true, he always had something there. Always would.

“I have a cousin in L.A. He needs someone to make a run for him between Oakland and Los Angeles. I told him he could trust you. You down?”

Mateo’s stomach cramped. His fucking hands started shaking. But then he remembered Jay upstairs on that couch. Knew that Javier could have not only lit fire to Josiah’s dreams, but hoped to either hurt him or frame him for it.

“It isn’t a hard fucking question, Mateo. Are you down, or not? Even talkin’ to you right now could get my ass killed. If your dad wasn’t who he was, I wouldn’t be doing it.”

Mateo’s voice broke when it came out. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m down.”

“That’s what I want to hear. I knew you didn’t bitch out the way Javier said you did. He’s going fucking crazy, man. He’s all paranoid and shit. He’s been stayin’ underground, doesn’t fucking trust anyone. He’s probably right. We’ve lost too many brothers the past few months. There’s only a few of us who know where he’s staying. He’s at your dad’s old place. Not where you lived, but where he went to take care of shit.”

Mateo’s knees went weak. He collapsed down, visions of a man hanging from chains in the ceiling filling his mind. Fucking hit him, Teo!

“That place was your dad’s best-kept secret. Makes sense Javier would lay low there.”

Yeah...yeah, it did. Mateo fought his way through the fog in his head to continue. “He hasn’t left the state?”

“No.”

“Has he said shit about me? About anyone in California?”

“If he has, it hasn’t been to me.”

Focus. Concentrate. Don’t fuck this up. “You’ll let me know if anything else goes down? I want to know if he leaves.”

Mario laughed. “Long as you know you owe me a favor for everything I tell you. And if it wasn’t you, I wouldn’t be fucking talking. You were my boy growing up. We were like brothers.”

Mario would see it like that, but Mateo couldn’t. Mario loved the things they’d done, admired Teo’s dad, when Teo couldn’t stomach any of it. But if there was anyone he trusted back East, it was Mario.

“Gotta go. I’ll be in touch when I get more information from my cousin.”

Mario hung up the phone. The vomit Mateo fought to hold back rose up his throat as he emptied his stomach on the sidewalk. The whole time, he saw the man he’d beaten in the very house Javier was at. Felt the man’s brains splatter on his face as they had when Teo’s dad blew them out.

There was no going back now.

CHAPTER FORTY

Josiah

Josiah’s heart sped up when his cell rang. The New York number didn’t calm his haywire emotions, even though logically he knew it was Ben.

“Hello?” Josiah said.

“They don’t have a case on you, Josiah. If they did, they would have pressed charges by now. But that doesn’t mean they won’t look for something that’s not there.”

Ben reminded him of Tristan. He could see Tristan being so determined to do a good job at work that he wouldn’t say hello.

“My concern in all this is motive. The logical one would be money because of insurance. The money would go to Tristan since it’s in his name, though... How are things going for him at work?” Ben asked. “He doesn’t need money, does he?”

Would they think Tristan was in on it? Did they think Tristan needed the money? “Okay, I guess. I know someone spoke to him after Teo’s PO came to the apartment, but I don’t think it was anything major.”

Ben cursed on the other end of the line. “Tristan has a lot to risk. I hope Mateo is worth it.”

“He is. Tristan knows the risk. When it comes to his job, maybe it’s not as big a risk as you think for him. Maybe he doesn’t love it the way you think he does.” His words were only partially true. The risk was major, and Josiah hated that Tristan had to worry about it. Love or not, Tristan depended on the stability his career gave him.

Ben sighed, then was quiet for a moment before continuing. “Tristan isn’t seeing straight. He’s not looking through this with professional eyes. His judgment is clouded because of how he feels about you.”